NO BETTER EXAMPLE OF IRONY "Gordon Ramsay has revealed he's set to open a new restaurant in LA with Victoria Beckham. … The restaurateur broke the news at the GQ Men of the Year awards, telling the Daily Mail: 'Yes, it is true that Victoria and I are setting up a restaurant in LA together. I'm really excited.'"

Lindsay Lohan's newest venture is fronting the Visa Swap UK campaign, a fashion swapping event in which everyone trades in their unwanted clothes. Naturally, LiLo provided a lovely statement to remind us of how not self-aware she is: "The concept of swapping clothes, getting something for nothing and refreshing your wardrobe appeals to everyone."

Well, she would know.

Paris Hilton attended Sober Day 2008, an event hosted by the Brent Shapiro Foundation for Alcohol and Drug Awareness, this weekend in Beverly Hills. We're guessing she has a different take on the meaning of "alcohol awareness."

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Caption: Former Miss USA Tara Conner hosts the 2008 Nightclub & Bar Magazine Top 100 Bars and Clubs Party at TAO Las Vegas.

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Perhaps the only worthwhile criticism of my criticism of Juno was that I hadn't seen it and therefore could not have an accurate and valid take on it. I disagreed, but, for the sake of argument, I saw it last night (not on my own dime, mind you). The verdict: yup, sucky.

"Honest to blog"? "Phuket, Thailand"? "I am for shizz up the spout"? "It makes his junk smell like pie"? (And I could go on like this!) It's not that people don't talk this way, it's that people who do are fucking annoying, as is sitting through hours of a movie whose main offerings are esoteric pop culture references and odd names for ordinary things ("pee stick" instead of "pregnancy test"). And the deus ex machina of Juno leaving the abortion clinic because it was a possibility the fetus had developed fingernails? It's just as irritating as it sounds.

To be sure, the movie was not without its moments, but neither was The Heartbreak Kid, and people had aneurysms when I said that "wasn't awful." So why were they so quick to herald Juno?

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