This might be interesting had Paris Hilton not already done it first: Khloe Kardashian will report to jail Friday to serve her 30-day sentence for DUI. You remember her DUI arrest, right? It was reenacted for an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Oh, I was the only one who watched it?
Anyhoo, the judge has decided to "make an example out of her," but she will likely only serve less than one day of her 30-day sentence. Apparently even being a D-lister's sibling is enough to get you the celebrity justice treatment.
[Source]
I guess I don't really understand how the prison system works, especially overseas, because I have a few questions spurred by this weekend's latest Amy Winehouse drama. Her husband, the lovely Blake Incarcerated, was caught (complete with photographic evidence) taking heroin in his London prison cell. Surprising, no? I really thought he was getting his act together.
So maybe this is naive of me, but why is he consistently able to get his grubby hands on illegal substances while being locked away in a prison cell? And who is this person taking the pictures? Do they allow cameras behind bars? And who is paying all of this money for exclusive photos of anyone Amy Winehouse-related taking drugs? Is this really breaking news?
[Source]
Amy Winehouse is out of the hospital and free to roam the streets as she pleases, which is the good news (for her). The bad news is her husband, Blake Incarcerated, has been having a raunchy pen pal affair with a fellow inmate who recently recovered from her heroin addiction. We have a feeling it's about to start back up.
The letters have been released to the media, and they're a good read if you enjoy deciphering crack talk. Some of the highlights include when he admits he and Amy opened up their relationship because she's been sleeping around and all he wants is a "loyal sweet, staunch, slutty girlfriend." Oh, and when the two pen pals finally meet up, he plans to choke her as she is performing special "favors" for him. Who says chivalry is dead?
After the jump: More incoherent ramblings, including discussion of Amy's interest in a threesome. CONTINUED »
Well, it took more than a decade, but the US justice system finally caught up with Jacob Arabo, the greasy jeweler rappers shout out more than Jesus. Who could have guessed that business dealings with an organization called the Black Mafia Family might lead to prison time?
It’s not that Anne Hathaway’s ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri is a con artist. It’s that he’s a bad con-artist. How to tell? He was arrested! That’s sort of the biggest criteria for finding out if a con artist is bad at his game. The second piece of criteria? Going to prison, which is where it sounds like he’s headed.
OF COURSE SHE WON'T BE CHARGED "London police have arrested two people — John Blagrove and Cara Burton — suspected of supplying drugs to Amy Winehouse. … Police have said Winehouse will not be charged in that case."
For all the negative publicity Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Incarcerated, receives, the guy actually has a good idea from time to time. This week, he tried to hire someone from inside prison to kill Pete Doherty after seeing a picture of him with Amy and assuming the two were doing drugs and sleeping together (of course they are). He approached an ex-bouncer who may or may not have been involved in murder before and who spoke to The Sun about the encounter:
We were sitting in my cell and he said, ‘If you get Doherty for me I’ll give you £20,000.’ He kept saying, ‘Can you arrange it?’ and telling me to get some guys to his house. He knew the address. He said, ‘Amy’s obviously sleeping with him.’
He knew I used to be a doorman and knew some tough people. He said he wanted him smashed to pieces.
Can someone remind us again how Blake landed in prison for all these months, yet Amy — who can now add "racist" to her resume — is still roaming the streets after continually demonstrating that she is a threat to herself and others?
[Source]
Hulk Hogan took to
All that whining finally paid off: Nick Hogan has been transferred out of solitary confinement and is now in a communal cell with three other juvenile inmates. Unfortunately, he wasn't released from jail and he still hasn't won his lawsuit against the sheriff's office for releasing his phone conversations, so prepare for even more whining from the family as they discuss how terribly difficult this whole situation is on them via telephone.
[Source]
The Hogans have been keeping us busy lately, and, true to form, today has not been lacking in absurdity. The family filed a civil lawsuit against Pinellas County Sheriff Jim Coats for placing Nick in solitary confinement, but another legal battle involves the public release of phone calls from the jail, which is causing Nick "extreme emotional distress."
Surely the maternal Linda Hogan can help us make sense of all this. Why wouldn't the press be sympathetic to the family's plight? In a jailhouse phone call made public, she explained to Nick the ways of the world: "Everything's public record. Is nothing sacred anymore? Everyone's out for the money."
Well, she would know.
[Source]
MORE HOGAN NEWS "A judge has just denied [Nick Hogan's] request to be released til his 18th birthday. For now, Nicky Boy will stay put in the Pinellas County, Fla. jail."
The Hogans seriously need to cool it on the bad publicity, because it's not doing the family any favors. The latest drama: That loser Linda was grinding in Vegas is actually 19 years old and has been a longtime friend of Nick. Speaking of our favorite jailbird, the family is trying to stop the release of Nick's recorded pathetic phone calls from jail, claiming a violation of privacy. Except a recorded voice comes on the line during each call to remind everyone that the call is being recorded. Nice try, losers.
[Source]
All that time in solitary confinement seems to have worked wonders for Nick Hogan, who has absolutely nothing to do all day but sit and think. He's obviously been contemplating puppies and what he had for lunch that day instead of why he's actually in prison in the first place, because his response to the civil lawsuit filed against his family is one of the most absurd things we've heard in a while.
Nick blames virtually every person on the planet — including John himself and Daniel Jacobs, the guy whom he drag-raced to cause the crash in the first place — but doesn't take a shred of responsibility of his own.
Let's just list the ways that Nick says John put himself in danger: Not wearing a seatbelt, not getting out of the car, getting into the car in the first place. And one last thing: Being friends with Nick to begin with.
[Source]
You know what's fun? Listening to Nick Hogan cry to his mother on the phone about how horrible jail is. The great thing about the Hogans is that they don't really grasp the concept of reality — take, for example, Nick's refusal to sympathize with his close friend who will have to live the rest of his life suffering the consequences of Nick's actions. Heaven forbid Nick experience trauma for eight months when someone else will never get their life back. Nick is truly an inspiration to America.
Listen to the conversation here.
[Source]
Poor little Nick Hogan. He's barely made it into his eight-month reckless driving sentence, and he's already pulling a Paris Hilton. Seems the baby Hulkster had different expectations going into prison, and now he has been calling his family nonstop to garner sympathy. According to documents, he complained to his mother about how horrible the treatment has become:
Had I known this, I would have rather gone to trial or I would rather, you know, appeal the case or something. I can't deal with this for eight months. [My cell is] like the size of my bathroom. No windows or nothing. Just one little top bed thing. … All you do is sit there and think, and there's nothing to think about.
Hey Nick, here's an idea: Perhaps you could think about why you're in jail in the first place. And, we don't know, maybe you can grow from this experience? We don't want to shoot for the moon here, but it's worth a shot.
[Source]
BYE BYE BYE "Boy band man Lou Pearlman — the guy who made the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC famous — just got 25 years in the big house for money laundering and conspiracy, among other shady s–t."
Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty have a lot in common — they both work in the music industry, they're both above the law, and they're both complete disasters. So it's natural they would spend quality time together, like last night after a Babyshambles concert. Wonder what those two talk about?
[Source]
Musician Pete Doherty emerged from prison this morning draped in rosaries. The world is once more his drug den.
Editor
