Holy cluster fuck, Pap Man!
I haven't seen such a hodge podge of celebrities since May of 1988: the last Battle of The Network Stars. Last night's post-VMA party at TAO wasn't a battle, but there may have been some casualties.
See what happens when Jermaine Dupri, Nelly and Travis Barker are picked to host an MTV party and celebrities stop being polite - and start getting drunk.
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Diminutive producer Jermaine Dupri has reportedly said he's intentionally pitting girlfriend Janet Jackson against extravagant screecher Mariah Carey in a charts war scheduled for next year. Adding jerk to stupid, Dupri will be producing Mariah Carey's album, leaving production duties of Janet's record up to friend LA Reid. Quote Dupri, "I'm going to do Mariah, and we're going to make it seem like we're in competition to see who's going to have the biggest album of the year." I'm sure Janet's really excited about this. And I'm sure women everywhere are excited to know that male puppet masters still get a kick out of playing with their dolls every once in a while.
[Source]
Gary Dourdan! For shame! I don't know if the above video is evidence that you "beat the living crap" out of anyone like TMZ claims you did, but it definitely proves you acted like fucking jerk. What happened to the gentle soul with the soft caress and easy demeanor from the "Again" video? CSI: isn't even cool, m'man.
Reminisce about a kinder, gentler Gary after the jump.
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• Harry Potter has groupies. Let's hope he uses a condom spell. [DListed]
• How to save face after License to Wed spit in it. [BWE]
• Methinks this dude's gotta drop a lot of his first name to keep her pleased. [ICYDK]
• She can't even steal good songs. [Yeeeah]
• Who's that holding that nasty camera? [CityRag]
• This model's everywhere. I think she likes sampling different local cuisines. [HT]
From today's Page Six:
Is there a beef between Madonna and Janet Jackson? Madge was chummy with fellow singer Shakira at Butter Monday night (our spy said they showed up "hand in hand") and was spotted dancing on banquettes with Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and Penelope Cruz. But Jackson was holed up a few booths down and, "She was not invited to join Madonna's crew," said an onlooker…
Two people in the same industry didn't hang out together so it should assumed that "beef" exists? If one accountant sees another accountant at a bar and doesn't invite him over is there "beef"? I think the only meat that was there was all that Kabbalah bologna.
There's more.
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Today, people will find it even more difficult to look at awkward twitcher Paula Abdul without laughing, as Page Six has obtained a tape of her having a complete breakdown. Here's the scoop:
Abdul, who seems to be talking to a group of publicists at some point during the last week, trashes her former rep, Howard Bragman; reveals she's dealing with challenging medical problems; and states she's had enough of the terrible treatment she receives from the "people who are supposed to be taking care of things."
She sobs on the tape: "I've never been treated this way and I've never seen anybody treated this way. This is just too much to stomach."
Ranting about Bragman, who apparently didn't appreciate her enough, the petite former pop star says: "I do a call-in every week for OK! Magazine on 'American Idol.' Because of my brilliant job, they want to do a cover on me. I'm being told by Howard Bragman that I'm too old and no one will ever want to do a cover.
"I don't understand how this man can call me a whining bitch. I've never in my life been called a whining bitch and a loser."
Badmouthing an ex-employee over speaker phone to a room full of people while shrieking "I don't understand how this man can call me a whining bitch"? Brilliant.
A secret Mollygood source revealed that Page Six actually didn't receive the whole recorded conversation. Here, exclusively, is the rest of her complaint:
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In honor of Mick Jagger and Warren Beatty showing their wrinkles at Hyde the other night, I've included these photos to give an idea of what the next generation of geriatric bar hoppers will look like.
They say this is intended to be 2037. If so, Justin Timberlake shouldn't look like that, nor should Avril Lavigne Paris Hilton should actually look worse, and Catherine Zeta-Jones is a widow in that photo.
[Source]
• Just move to LA, Tara Connor. You have no choice. [HollywoodTuna]
• John Mayer has one more Dundie than I do. Booo. [BWE]
• Traaaavvvv-Ooorrrccaaa out of water! [Splash]
• In case you haven't heard, it's cool to like Ben Affleck again. In fact, it's encouraged.[PopSugar]
• GI issues, Janet? [INO]
• Britney's dogs are fiiiine people, they're just locked in the basement with that second baby thing. [DListed]
• Martha Stewart keeps her vibrator very, very clean. [A Socialite's Life]
• Beyonce on Shakira action? Nice. [popbytes]
According to The Scoop Justin Timberlake has some residual beef with Janet Jackson and he may just be taking his aggression out through his craft. Above we have the video for Timbaland's new release "Give It To Me" featuring Timberlake and Nelly Furtado. A little after the 2 minute mark, Justin comes in with these lyrics:
“Could you speak up and stop mumbling?/I don’t think you came in clear/When you’re sitting on the top/it’s hard to hear you from way up there/I saw you tryin’ to act cute on TV/Just let me clear the air/We missed you on the charts last week/[Bleep] that’s right, you wasn’t there.”
Apparently this is a comment on Janet's appearance on Oprah where she said that Justin abandoned her after Nipplegate. Whatever, I'm too busy getting down (again, that usually means clenched fist shoulder shuffle laptop in lap) to get involved in this feud.
• Gwen Stefani's little Kingston already biting Maddox's style. So cute. [JustJared]
• Natalie vs. Scarlett: Round One. Fight. [PITNB]
• Kate Moss is wearing an engagement ring. Does that mean Pete Doherty spent money on something other than drugs? [PopSugar]
• The Hiltons need to stop opening their lady flowers for Brandon Davis. [X17]
• Guess where Janet Jackson went. [DListed]
• Check out this new Celeb Diet site, full of great tips. Or, if your me, a longer list of things you'll never have the motivation to do. [Celeb-Diet]
• How Not To Dress Up Your Best Assets, by Jennifer Love Hewitt. [Bastardly]
• Hef doesn't like to bump uglies (or shall we say olds) anymore. Ambitious blondes everywhere rejoice. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Janet Jackson was pissed that Paris co-opted her album release party. That's what you get for letting the Hilton siege into the club. [Rymes with Snitch]
• Gwyneth Paltrow eats like an idiot to lose baby weight. Apparently the Guiness diet wasn't working out. [Celebitchy]
• Sarah Michelle Gellar appreciates being able to make faces. What, it's not like that's an important part of her craft or anything. [PopSugar]
• Hey, you're not a lifeguard. [Egotastic]
• What's with the Brits and their autobiographies? [DListed]
• Help MetaDish end this Stephanie Adams mess once and for all. [MetaDish]
• Mel Gibson is finally ready to talk about his "incident." [Hollyscoop]
• Dina Lohan and George Clooney, a match made in her completely delusional head. [DListed]
• Ashlee Simpson: More Olsen every day. [Celebrity Nation]
• Janet Jackson is thinking of dropping $30 million on an apartment, but isn't there a family member who could really use some help in the money department? [A Socialite's Life]
• Eva Mendes, honey, your dress is bunched up a little…no…a little more….even more…fuck it, the whole front is messed. [Bastardly]
• Please don't pop my perfect little Project Runway bubble, please. [BWE]
• Justin Timberlake will not be shaking his thang up on stage in ten years. I think there are some other aging rockers out there who could take some advice from this young buck. [PopSugar]
I'm not sure what is more disgusting: Paris Hilton's wig or Steve-O's inappropriately manhandling that poor woman's breasts.
That snake is probably ashamed to be associated with these shenanigans.
At least Piven knows better than to get near that thing. It's taken him many many moons to have a successful career and legit invites to events like this, he's sure as hell not risking losing that at the hands of some bastard reptile. Plus, he's got on his fancy leather cuff. Not to be messed with.
• Oh, looks like there's a new necrophiliac in town. [PopSugar]
• Lindsay Lohan cuddly like a panda, but boy does she have nails. [GotA]
• You should go here and watch the new Tenacious D video (and I guess there's all sort of shit to download and play with cause it's Spankin New Music Week on MTV, but I find it to be the most poorly organized website ever). [MTV]
• Janet isn't mad at Justin, but that won't stop her from being a little passive aggressive. [People]
• I'm not sure the best way to ingratiate the world to the new James Bond is to have him drink beer rather than martinis. [Celebitchy]
• Paris has been officially charged with her DUI. So now can we see the mugshot? [TMZ]
• Chris Klein takes a break from staring at himself in the mirror long enough to deny that Suri is really his kid. Bribery smells so sweet. [DListed]
• Cocaine in a can verdict: It's awesome. If you're into chest burning and generally feeling crazy. [BWE]
• These pictures of Anna Nicole Smith in the brief time she had both her son and her daughter make me incredibly sad and uncomfortable, but if you're into that sort of thing, go ahead and look at some more. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• XTina is still drrrty? But she looks so angelic. [Hollywood Tuna]
• Do not pee on the Cruise compound. I repeat, do not pee on the Cruise compound. [Glitterati]
• Kate Bosworth likes to break the cartilage in her ears. That sounds…healthy. [DListed]
• Violet Affleck is already in contention for the most normal of the new celebrity babies. [A Socialite's Life]
• What the hell kind of doctor is slipping Janet Jackson cocaine? [Yeeeah]
• Not only is The Last Kiss bad, but it's not Zach Braff's fault. Can I still blame him if Brody and Bilson split? [Pajiba]
• Maybe Tom Cruise should spend less time worrying about people seeing that infant of his and more time on his oral hygiene. [DListed]
• Don't you just wish that Jared Leto and Stephen Baldwin would spontaneously combust when this close to one another? [BWE]
• Hmmm, what's up with Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson both vacationing in Maui right now. Are they doing it as I type? I can only hope. [X17]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is in love, I will leave others to comment on what that has done in terms of letting herself go-ness. [Hollywood Tuna]
• After all these years, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are still totally adorable together. [PopSugar]
• W Magazine looks like it's having a little fun with Janet Jackson on it's new cover. [BringingBloggingBack]
• This, this is why I cannot have children. [CityRag]
Dear Janet Jackson,
I had a conference call with Boyz II Men and the 90s. They want their sand dune music video concept back. Also their visual effects. Thanks.
Kisses and Trimspa cocktails,
Molly
Nestled in her ample bosom, Janet Jackson displays that which she keeps closest to her heart: Chanel, McDonald's and Pirates.
Janet displayed her fashion-forward accessory homage to fast food, haute couture and swashbucklers on a teeny tiny red carpet in Berlin. Judging from her recent physical transformation, these blinged out arches are the only ones getting near her body these days. As for dragging Chanel into this Pirates of the Caribbean/Mickey D's marketing campaign? There's no excuse.
Editor
