Dogpile! Now that media outlets around the country are scrambling for stories about Alex Rodriguez's shattered personal life, no matter how unfounded they might be, strippers on shadowy, dollar-littered stages across this great United States are sashaying forth and bragging that they, too, fucked the married Yankee.
Exotic dancer Candice Houlihan, at left, says she had a loveless, two-night fling with A-Rod in Boston in 2004. And in Detroit, a strip club bartender recently called into a local radio show to claim that A-Rod used to fly one of her colleagues around the country for sex.
Yay, national pastime!
David Beckham is so sexy and irresistible that, in what one newspaper calls "a new first," even his male fans can't help themselves. One such fella stormed the field when the L.A. Galaxy star was playing, hugging and high-fiving his hero. Then teammate Chris Klein knocked the guy down and pinned him until security got to the scene to escort him away. Below, see the fan get shoved to the ground! Then escorted off the field! It's all tres romantic.
A Plano, Texas steroids dealer has learned the hard way that it's a bad idea to fuck with the lives of undereducated, strong millionaires amped up on mood-altering drugs.
David Jacobs and girlfriend Amanda Jo Earhart-Savell were found shot to death in Jacobs' Plano home yesterday, just 15 days after Jacobs met with NFL security officials and gave them the names of players he said bought steroids from him.
At the time of the couple's murder, Jacobs was on probation and cleaning up his life after pleading guilty last year to conspiring to possess with intent to distribute anabolic steroids.
You've got to hand it to jocks—they're very consistent bastards:
Yankee A-Rod drowned his sorrows over the team's loss to the birds last week at Baltimore's Hooters, and must have been so bummed that he dismissed a young fan who wanted his autograph.
"Excuse me, Mr. Rodriguez, may I please have your autograph?" the excited 10-year-old said to him.
The third baseman just mumbled, "Beat it."
He had two different words for the chesty waitress he bumped into as he left.
"Nice ass."
Prior to devoting his career to shouting about God and convincing white Midwesterners to fear things (especially black men), Bill O'Reilly hosted Inside Edition. There, unlike the current behavioral agreement he has with Fox News, the psychopathic O'Reilly was allowed to be a mercurial asshole only when off the air.
Click through to remember those days with a good, old-fashioned explosion that's NSFW and actually a bit frightening.
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Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, meat head and tank enthusiast, was in Columbus, Ohio last weekend to help celebrate the 20th anniversary of his eponymous sports and fitness festival.
Besides autograph sessions with Ultimate Fighting berserkers and endless energy drink giveaways, 2008's Arnold Sports Festival included this impromptu but delightful thing:
Some of the female bodybuilders at the competition…went to a local bar…"They started wrestling a bunch of midgets. It got nasty and went all night."
Presumably displeased with the outcome of the female bodybuilder-dwarf wrestling matches, Ahnold stormed out of Columbus the next morning with the fury of a robot sent from the future to murder the only hope for humanity.
As Schwarzenegger was exiting the Hyatt early Sunday…he had several goons run ahead of him screaming at hotel customers trying to get to the airport, "Get back against the wall! Stay against the wall! Do not move!"
When Schwarzenegger appeared, flanked by men in black suits, one fan broke free and begged for a photo, saying, "Every year I try and get a picture, please? You're my idol." Schwarzenegger didn't even make eye contact as he swept by.
After the jump, the Governor's finest performance to date.
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