FoxNews.com gossip Roger Friedman, most recently seen finger-pointing Warner Music's way for leaking negative items about exiting client Madonna, is back on his usual Madge-hating rampage. Never one for cult religions like Scientology, Friedman has a special part of his tongue-lashings that he saves for Kabbalah and its red-string wearing celebrity leader. For one: She wore a baseball cap to a bar mitzvah.
A bartender serving drinks at punker Ashton Kutcher's birthday party at Manhattan "hot spot" Socialista on February 7 has tested positive for Hepatitis A. The New York City Health Department says all guests in attendance could have contracted the virus and should be properly vaccinated. Besides Kutcher and his wife, Demi Moore, at risk are Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow, Salma Hayek and Bruce Willis.
Hepatitis A is borne mostly through food or drinks contaminated with the feces of an infected person. Lucky for Madonna, Kutcher and Moore, their constant intake of Kabbalah bullshit ensures they have a high tolerance for this sort of thing. The others should seek treatment immediately.
[Source]
KABBAILING "Kaballah’s golden couple Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have fallen off the radar…'Ashton and Demi used to have an impeccable attendance record,' says one source with close ties to the Kabballah Centre in L.A. Another source close to the couple says it’s been 'months' since the two attended services or participated in the Shabbat dinner after Friday services. Adding fuel to the fire is the fact that Kutcher was just last week spotted shopping on Robertson Blvd. without his trademark red string."
Having given up hope on obtaining on the grand but elusive peace of her Eastern ancestors' Buddhism, Lucy Liu now turns to the faith of the chosen people for her guidance:
…Liu has been spotted reading "The First Hebrew Primer" between takes on the New York set of "Cashmere Mafia." The book is a guide to understanding biblical Hebrew.
Our backstage snitch says: "Lucy is so nice and friendly on the set and always knows her lines, so instead of studying the script, she reads her 'Hebrew Primer.'"
Speculation says Liu's friendship with magic believer and Kabbalah enthusiast Demi Moore may be the origin of this newfound interest in Hebrew. I say it was the recent spate of long weekends the Tribe enjoyed. And who can blame her? It was gorgeous out!
After the jump, more from the set of Cashmere Mafia.
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• Something is afoot at Jossip, and that foot might be wearing heels. [Queerty]
• A stupid person is becoming famous by proxy right before your eyes. [DListed]
• Sorry, guy, but she looks fine. More than adequate, actually. [HT]
• Rehab is clearly good for your physique and mental state, but also bad for your lungs. [INO]
• After her VMA performance, Britney Spears reportedly lamented that she looked like "a fat pig." So, suicide watch, then? [Yeeeah]
• What a fashionable belief system, Demi. [CityRag]
While BWE was quick to point out that photo shoots in front of groupings of phallic cacti wasn't the best way for Zac Efron to avoid gay rumors, allow Mollygood to present Exhibit B: Efron holding girlfriend Nikki Blonsky like she were a short stack of horse manure. After the jump, fake kissing!
PS Kabbalah is a trick wrapped in a trick.
From today's Page Six:
Is there a beef between Madonna and Janet Jackson? Madge was chummy with fellow singer Shakira at Butter Monday night (our spy said they showed up "hand in hand") and was spotted dancing on banquettes with Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and Penelope Cruz. But Jackson was holed up a few booths down and, "She was not invited to join Madonna's crew," said an onlooker…
Two people in the same industry didn't hang out together so it should assumed that "beef" exists? If one accountant sees another accountant at a bar and doesn't invite him over is there "beef"? I think the only meat that was there was all that Kabbalah bologna.
There's more.
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Madonna is known for many things, but these days it's as much for her devotion to Kabbalah as it is for her high kicks, leotards, or provocative displays. I'm sure Kabbalah has, for the most part, just made Madonna more charitable and centered, but sometimes it just makes her look like a crazy. Todays Scoop is case in point of the crazy:
The singer and her director hubby Guy Ritchie have been “lobbying the government and nuclear industry over a scheme to clean up radioactive waste with a supposedly magic Kabbalah fluid,” according to London’s Sunday Times.
The power couple has approached various British government agencies, urging the detoxing powers of a “mystical” liquid developed by the mystical offshoot of Judaism, which is currently trendy among some celebs.
“It was like a crank call . . . the scientific mechanisms and principles were just bollocks, basically,” one official told the Times.
“She relentlessly pursued people,” according to a former civil servant. “She wanted to get this Russian scientist to explain this to civil servants.”
Madonna's rep dismissed this story as "old news," but not completely ludacris. So it's true. So at one point Madonna lobbied for a "mystical" elixer that cleans up radioactive waste. Sweet. Makes total sense.
[Source]
• The Johnny Depp wax figure is pretty spot-on, but the Keira Knightly one is way off. Don't they know her jaw is more epic than that? [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Jeff Goldblum skews young, and apparently skeletal, with Nicole Richie. [WWTDD]
• Jessica Simpson and Zach Braff? Indie girls everywhere die a slow death at the concept of their leader pursuing the cheerleader they could never be. [Perez Hilton]
• Heather Locklear can't learn from her own mistakes, replaces ex-husband Richie Sambora tattoo with very new boyfriend David Spade-based tat. Genius. [Popbytes]
• The Emmy nominations are out, and apparently cancellation is the new key to success. [PopWatch]
• Please start calling Lindsay Lohan by her Kaballah name: Rose. As pure and gentle as she is. [Velvet Hot Tub]
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