Poor Owen Wilson. He's not only survived a suicide attempt, but also two rounds of the clingy Kate Hudson — and it's looking like history will repeat itself now that the always reputable Star is reporting Kate wants Owen back for round three.
He was frosty at first. He felt betrayed when she dumped him for his friend Lance. But after a while, he caved in and has been sweet to her. … It's not fair to Owen, because he really cares for her and ends up getting hurt.
Owen really should know better by now. Just like President Bush says: "Fool me once, shame on … shame on you. You fool me, you can't get fooled again." Indeed.
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Someone needs to keep an eye on Jennifer Aniston, because rumor has it John Mayer dumped her and, if the media is to be believed, she is going to have a nervous breakdown due to the grief. Or something.
John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn't ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved. Contrary to reports, Jen didn't want to have kids or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together. She also wanted him to assure her he would cut down his tours in the future when they did eventually have children.
But don't feel too sorry for Jen: Reports are stating she has already moved on with a new boyfriend. Sounds like someone's been getting lessons from Kate Hudson.
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We've come to the conclusion that Dane Cook is a genius, because one simple MySpace (yes, we're still trolling that site this afternoon) rant has gotten more people talking about his upcoming movie than should be allowed.
Apparently Dane has an issue with the movie's poster and has decided to point out every little thing that's wrong with it ("My left side looks like Brittany Spears' vagina"), much like a teenage girl who feels the urge to criticize every acceptable picture of herself in a quest for gratification.
After watching the trailer at Dane's request (we fell for it), he does make a valid point that the poster really has nothing to do with the movie's premise — but really? An excessively long tirade that likely took hours to construct is a little much.
If you're bored and feel up to devoting entirely too much time to this movie and its promotional materials, click through. CONTINUED »
We're not sure what type of person keeps tabs on years-old magazine covers, but they exist, and one of them has noted a striking similarity between Kate Hudson's new W image and a Bazaar cover from 1994.
We suppose this might be more scandalous if eyeliner placement and facial expressions could be patented. But they can't be. La di da.
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THAT WAS FAST "Just a week after being dumped by Lance Armstrong, Kate Hudson was seen out with her ex-husband Chris Robinson. Better than that, they were seen kissing in the street."
WELL, AT LEAST THERE'S NO HARD FEELINGS "According to a [Lance] Armstrong associate at his Livestrong charity foundation, the sports hero felt [Kate] Hudson was 'just too needy,' and was coming on 'too strong, too fast … sensing Kate was way too desperate, a woman who clearly can't be on her own without a man in her life at all times.'"
The three-month fairytale romance of Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong has come to an end, according to sources close to the couple: "There was no drama or ugliness — they just decided to end things. There is no hatred, just sadness." Fair enough, but what fun is that for us?
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• Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong are really trying to keep their relationship under wraps. [DListed]
• Steve-O is being charged with assault after punching someone at the launch party for Paris Hilton's clothing line. Seriously. [ICYDK]
• Rachel Hunter had the audacity to put on a few pounds. [Yeeeah]
• Ashlee Simpson's baby bump has inspired her to dress like a hippie. [HT]
• Angelina Jolie's doctor just held the most pointless press conference of all time. [PS]
• Starbucks is closing 600 stores due to poor sales. You think this has anything to do with Britney Spears getting her act together? [INO]
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A nosy Village Voice scribe stumbled across a large bundle of Miramax head Harvey Weinstein's garbage whilst in Tribeca the other night, and then he wrote about it for his paper. Besides making it abundantly clear that few scripts pass muster with the notoriously prickly and prickish Weinstein, the refuse also revealed that the mogul is quite a difficult man to get on the phone. After the jump, Harv's "need to call" list.
CONTINUED »
• The New Kids on the Block reunion excitement has plateaued. [DListed]
• Barack Obama: "Any fool can have a child, but that doesn’t make you a father." And the great speeches continue. [SH]
• For Father's Day, Kate Hudson let her kids hang out with new boyfriend Lance Armstrong. Because that's bound to be healthy. [PS]
• How Whitney Houston treated her stepson: "She decided to turn me into one of her security personnel. I was a teenager but I was walking around dressed up in all black with a Security shirt and she’d have me work for her." [ICYDK]
• Billy Bob Thornton is obviously a bit jealous of Brad Pitt. [INO]
• This is why we love New York: "Gov. David A. Paterson has directed all state agencies to begin to revise their policies and regulations to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions, like Massachusetts, California and Canada." [NYT]
• Britney Spears is being courted by Broadway. Nope, not joking. [DListed]
• The Guess Who's Eating Quiz. [PS]
• In all seriousness, someone needs to be keeping an eye on Owen Wilson in light of the Kate Hudson-Lance Armstrong romance. [ICYDK]
• "Xzibit’s newborn son, who was born prematurely on May 15th, died earlier this week when his lungs gave out." [SH]
• Seriously, how do people like this get through life without being beaten to death? [INO]
• A new book of sex scandal stories about dead famous people will be released soon. Rest in shame! [DListed]
• Surprisingly, prima donna actors are having a difficult time on the set of Nailed, a film by David O Russel, the director known to call his actors and actresses "cunts." [PS]
• Kiefer Sutherland looks to be off the sauce. Good for him, bad for Anheuser-Busch. [CityRag]
• Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson have again broken up. Wah wah. [Yeeeah]
• America Ferrera, on moving Ugly Betty filming to New York: "I’m excited. I’m a little nervous too. New Yorkers are really cool." And don't you forget it, hippie! [ICYDK]
GETTING SMART "Despite a flurry of engagement rumors, Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson — Hollywood's most notorious on-again, off-again couple — have called it quits, less than two months after rekindling their romance in Miami."
Jennifer Aniston has been keeping busy lately. In between being a desperate hag and ruining Kate and Owen's lovefest, Jen will be writing a tell-all about her life — including the demise of her marriage to Brad.
The former Friends star is allegedly penning a tome that will reveal the details of her split from Brad Pitt and his relationship with Angelina Jolie.
An insider reveals to British newspaper Daily Star, 'This book could ruin Angelina and Brad. Jen will prove that the pen really is mightier than the sword.'
Does Jen realize that the tabloids have already revealed the details behind the Brad-Angie-Jen love triangle? And Star's account was probably way more interesting.
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The NYPD has reportedly arrested two men after finding them with a gun at Kate Hudson's home in Manhattan.
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ a woman called 911 after seeing what she thought were men on her roof with a rifle. When cops arrived, they found two young men, one with a camera and one with an unloaded rifle. From what we're hearing on the scene, the men are telling cops they are shooting a movie — and NYU is nearby.
Both men are in cuffs and are still being interviewed at the scene.
…Owen? Buddy, it's OK. You don't have to go back to that place. Just come down off the roof and we'll get through this together.
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• Honestly, this imploration is one of great weight and applicability: "Get a life and stop jackin' it."[BWE]
• Owen Wilson tried to kill himself and then got the girl back! See, Dr Abbot, it does work. [DListed]
• Megan Fox's photo shoots are getting nakeder, as are her handlers' intentions for her. [HT]
• Hey, it's Christina Aguilera's famous boobs again. [INO]
• Why is Britney Spears even practicing dancing anymore? [ICYDK]
• Amy Winehouse is coming out with a makeup line. Try it and let us know if it gives you hepatitis. [Yeeeah]
• "10 Badass Moments of the Wussiest Characters!"[CityRag]
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