• OK! magazine was not interested in Clay Aiken's coming out story, claiming it wasn't a big deal. Yeah, why feature a talked-about story when you can have a cover like the one above? Good move, OK! [INO]
• Jennifer Aniston takes a break from being America's Punching Bag to vacation in Mexico. Life is rough. [Yeeeah]
• Things too awkward for words: Samantha Ronson in a bikini. [HT]
• Kelly Osbourne struggled with a possible pregnancy at 13. When I was 13 I was struggling to remember not to throw my retainer away in the cafeteria's trash bins. To each her own. [ICYDK]
• Mark Wahlberg wasn't so creative with the baby names — that's a good thing. [DListed]
• DJ AM put his recovery on hold to attend a memorial service for one of the victims of the deadly plane crash. [PS]
"He was really weird with her," said [Richie Rich] … "He kept leering at her and saying, "I want to fuck you!"
Axl is 46, Kelly: 24.
• This is a terrible rendition of a not very good song that can only be redeemed by lots of f-bombs. Sorry, Kel. [DListed]
• Despite the odds, Adam Sandler's daughter is very cute. [PS]
• "Man vs Wild: New York City" [CityRag]
• Madonna has upset adopted son David's biological father by saying it's "not even a possibility" David would have lived had she not swooped in to rescue the destitute Malawian boy. The baby daddy begs to differ. [ICYDK]
• One of Barbara Walters' crew members totally made Hannah Montana's toilet overflow, so Hannah sent Babs a golden toilet. Now it's showbiz history and the two gals both laugh at the incident. Oh, decline. [INO]
• Cindy Crawford doesn't age, and if you drink her blood you won't, either. Catch her if you can! [HT]
Here's the thing about rehab: Addicts need to be in treatment for more than two weeks. And if you're Amy Winehouse, you should probably be in treatment for more than two years.
We know this because despite her recent stint in rehab, Amy seems to have a penchant for sticking anything up her nose.
The crack-smoking jazz diva has taken up Prince Harry's former favorite pastime — of snorting neat vodka up her hooter.
'She was sat next to Kelly [Osbourne] and Miquita [Oliver] when she covered one nostril, tilted her head back and sucked the vodka shot down her open nostril through a straw.
'Amy was on top form and begged a pal to teach her the dance where you spin your head around really fast while you wind into the ground. Amy was so into it at one point her beehive nearly fell off.'
Not the beehive! That's where she hides her stash.
[Source]
STONES GONE; CHIP STILL ON SHOULDER "Kelly Osbourne is 'disappointed' with the reaction to her two-stone weight loss. She said: 'I don't like the way that suddenly now everyone likes me because I've lost two stone. Why was I a bitch before? Because I was fat?' The singer claimed that overweight people are vilified more than 'a junkie'."
Forgotten rebel Kelly Osbourne is still making it her job to remind the press that she is different from party girls Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. The metal heiress was recently quoted as saying:
I think for a lot of famous people press attention is an addiction. Those girls — Britney, Lindsay (Lohan), Paris and so on — are competing for the attention. It's like, 'Who's going to get arrested next, get pregnant, go out without knickers and get on this week's cover of Us Weekly?' It's like a contest of self-loathing and I just don't understand it.
Of course, just two weeks ago, while partying together in Las Vegas, Osbourne was overheard reminding Hilton that it was she who first gave her alcohol poisoning. How quickly things change.
[Source]
With the pointy-nosed Jamie Hince at her side, Kate Moss debuted her haircut and her Topshop Christmas collection to a large crowd of long-A-listers.
As soon as the show was over, people ran outside for a cigarette. But they were back in time for pudding and to enjoy a performance by Grace Jones, who entertained into the small hours.
With a newly-cut long fringe, eyes underlined in heavy black kohl, and black catsuit and sequinned bolero, Kate certainly turned heads with her sexy new glam rock look.
Stop the presses! While everyone was busy pondering exactly how fucking scary it is that New York City can still be crippled by a bad rain, a case of selflessness has arisen from the glittery toilet of reality television.
Citing that it would have been "demeaning to other people," Kelly Osbourne has decided to kibosh a reality television show she was set to co-star in with Kimberly Stewart. According to TMZ, "Producers wanted the glamor girls to spend time with "real people" doing "real jobs" — like garbage men and hot dog vendors — and make fun of them."
If this is the real reason Osbourne declined the show, she is to be commended. Backbone is rare when the checks are big, and it's refreshing to see someone taking charge of their career instead of arguing after the fact that they were swindled.
The New York Daily News is reporting that Kelly Osbourne has been digitally diminished in promotional photos for her turn as Mama Morton in a production of Chicago in London's West End. Quote, "[she] struts a seamlessly (read: digitally) slimmed-down bod in promos…" If this is indeed the case, and her Chicago photos have been manipulated to make her look more attractive to a malleable public, well, the irony just doesn't get any better than that.
You decide after the jump.
CONTINUED »
Even Carnie Wilson hates the way Carnie Wilson looked circa 1992, and she didn't even have Japanime hair. This look is "Gastric Bypass Patient's Bad Memories."
[BuzzFoto]
• Check this out and try and remember how good SNL used to be. [CityRag]
• Nicknaming yourselves "Team Evil" means that you're more like "Team Self-Important, Faux Rebels." [DListed]
• "Super nipples" was a failed Nicktoon, right? [HT]
• Hasselbeck's pregnant again! Let's hope this pregnancy doesn't put her life in danger. Then we'll see where her bullshit gets her. [ICYDK]
• So I'm guessing they don't teach "demure comeback" lessons in rehab? [Yeeeah]
• Richard Gere being the bigger man. Buddha would be proud. [Jossip]
• Kim Kardashian halts production of her sex tape, obviously doesn't understand how Internet works. [Us]
• Chamillionaire promises to keep profanity out of his mouth on his rap records. Of course, he'll probably still keep calling himself Chamillionaire and heralding money and materialism, and that's much worse. [SH]
I heard a rumor that yesterday the Coachella festival saw about 75,000 people come through the gates. In case of emergency, that's a frightening number (Great White, anyone?), and, visually, it's such a never-ending mass of bodies that everyone starts to blend together and look like one thing: an obstacle preventing you from reaching beer, bands or the bathroom in a timely manner.
Thus, celebrity spotting is a pretty futile game here. And, as these pictures can attest, oftentimes when you do see someone from television or the movies, they're gone in a flash.
Up above is the shoulder of Kelly Osbourne, and to the right are the backs of Mischa Barton and Nicky Hilton. The only decent shot I got was of Danger Mouse, the super producer probably most well known as one half of Gnarls Barkley. It was, 'Crazy!'
And yeah, Paris Hilton was here and she walked right past me with an entourage of about eight. Guess what: she looked exactly like every other blond girl running around here saying "fierce." That's a fact.
Going out to bars with a friend who looks a lot different from you is pretty much the best way to do it, because the guys you pull won't be attracted to both of you. That makes it easy to avoid the bitchfest that is deciding which one gets to have the singer.
As it stands, one of you will get all the sloppy drunks in Black Sabbath t-shirts, and the other one will get the skinny turds in waistcoats who do rails in the toilet and like "black music."
Have fun, ladies. And stop looking so rushed and disorderly, wouldja?
[Source]
Elton John threw a lavish 60th birthday bash for himself last night, and all the grand Anglicans came out to celebrate. Guests included Hugh Grant, Sting, Paul McCartney, Daniel Craig, Kate Moss, the Osbournes and the ever radiant Thandie Newton.
For some reason, Elton and partner David Furnish opted to wear full military garb; questionable judgment during wartime. But, immediately winning the classless war was TMZ who, when covering the event, chose to run the headline, "Elton's Rear Admiral."
How 'bout that for your 60th, Elton? A nice, concrete reminder that, even after six decades of life and countless career successes, someone will always be around to make fun of you for being gay.
[Source]
• If you consider this a "Fashion Disaster," that's your fault for expecting things out of Kelly Osbourne. [ASL]
• Bam Margera respecting the sanctity of marriage and having his wife strip for the cameras. [HR]
• Tori Amos track leaks. Oh, there is piano and there is Biblical allusion. [Popbytes]
• Hurley's diamond is strikingly large. [INO]
• McConaughey doing more research while sitting on his ass, shirtless at surf competitions. [JJ]
• Diddy again wins for weirdest threat: "I'll smack flames out of your ass." [TMZ]
• J Lo shows more backbone than anyone anticipated. [Celebitchy]
• Lohan playing DJ again. [CW]
• Victoria Beckham and Katie Cruise not doing anything for women's lib in Paris. [PopSugar]
• Brandy's huge car accident. [TMZ]
• Playboy turns down Kelly Osbourne. Obviously. Shoulda tried Suicide Girls. [DListed]
• Snoop says he's innocent. But, at this point, shouldn't someone be thinking where there's smoke there's fire? [People]
• Katie Cruise nosejob? [INO]
• Sundance rundown shocker: Diddy and Sienna Miller? [Jossip]
• Rose McGowan's making a case against plastic surgery simply by existing. [PopBytes]
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