Gag gift of a person Victoria Beckham has admitted to dating 80s movie star Corey Haim way back in 1995, before he was selling his teeth and before she was unsalvageable. But, the Spice Girl says she did not have sexual relations with that teen heartthrob.

‘We didn’t have sex or anything,’ she recalls. ‘In actual fact, he didn’t seem to want to try. The most we did was kiss.’

But Posh – who’s now married to David Beckham, 33, – says she wasn’t bothered.

‘Looking back it’s hard to work out whether I really fancied him or if I was just a bit of a sad fan,’ she tells OK!

Now, everyone knows correlation does not equal causation, but we’d like to point out that Haim developed a nasty meth habit after dating Beckham. Just saying.

When was your first kiss?

I haven’t had a first kiss.

-17-year-old American Idol runner-up David Archuleta, in a new interview with Seventeen magazine

Oh! That there is a photograph of Jude Law “snogging” Kimberly Stewart, daughter of Rod, in Essex Saturday. They’ve both lost so much hair.

Seriously, Madonna. You’re not in college. The crotch flashing, champagne chugging and kissing of other females is getting old.

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Arden Wohl, a wealthy Manhattan resident famous for her many headbands and few talents, recently told New York magazine that she is dissatisfied with the kissing talents of New York’s bachelors. “Some men,” she said, “are kissing monsters,” then she wagged her tongue around to simulate the monstrousness.

But whom is most monstrous? Wohl says the worst “Frencher” she’s ever Frenched is the oddly successful Zach Braff, just as we would have guessed.