NO AUTOGRAPHS, PLEASE “[American Idol castoff Kristy Lee Cook] called her local nail salon in Grants Pass, Ore., yesterday to make an appointment and … asked to be ushered in through the back door to avoid the crowds of adoring fans. Only problem, there weren’t any!”

LOSER IN LOVE A day after her American Idol ousting, Kristy Lee Cook announced she is getting hitched. Cook, 24, said her 25-year-old beau, Andrew Dobner, first popped the question on March 17. He then proposed again last night on Idol. ‘He actually got down on his knee this time,’ she said. ‘He owed it to me!’”

The newest technique to predicting which contestant will be voted off American Idol involves TiVo and the tracking of which performances get replayed the most. According to TMZ, the process has been accurate for four weeks straight.

So who does TiVo think is going home tonight?

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Kristy Lee Cook isn’t going to be voted off American Idol any time soon, and we’ll tell you why: Because last night she chose to sing “God Bless the USA.” Genius! Now viewers have to vote for her, because a vote for Kristy Lee is a vote for freedom. And if you don’t like her, then you obviously hate America and you’re letting the terrorists win.