Britney Spears is rapidly attempting to get her career back on track, what with the promise of a new album and her recent stints on How I Met Your Mother — but news that Quentin Tarantino has cast her as a lesbian killer in his next film, a remake of 1965’s Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, is a bit of a surprise. Brit’s potential role is that of stripper Varla, who murders a man with her bare hands and then takes his girlfriend hostage. Oh, and there’s sex scenes with another female. Of course.
Quentin reportedly thinks “Britney will be brilliant,” which would perhaps be the slightest bit believable if Crossroads hadn’t already exposed the pop star’s lack of acting chops. For those who need a reminder and want to watch scenes from the worst movie ever, click through.
So we’re actually glad that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson seem to be making their not-so-secret relationship work — even though we highly doubt it will last, the two of them seem happy for the time being. But when stories like this come out (no pun intended), it’s hard not to be annoyed:
Mark Ronson had two women at his feet during his deejay gig at the Hard Rock Hotel Chicago: his sister Samantha and her girlfriend, Lindsay Lohan. During Mark’s set, the cuddly twosome sat underneath a table near his feet and had waiters bring them drinks. When they did come out of hiding, Sam … was ‘constantly texting with Lindsay, even though Lindsay was seated on the stage near her,’ laughed a witness. ‘They’d text and giggle and just stare at each other.’
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Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, seen here holding their noses in the presence of a homeless man, have been parading their love around New York City recently, but LiLo decided that’s simply not enough — so she changed her BlackBerry messenger name to “LL <3s samanhattan - I didn't get hit by a bike!!!" Naturally.
So the bike incident, which allegedly happened Saturday night and sent Lindsay to the hospital, was a cover-up?? A friend says yes: “When we asked her what actually happened, she clammed up. She did go to the hospital, but won’t tell anyone why. It’s really odd.” Even more interesting is the fact that Michael Lohan has gone to the media outlets confirming the accident, so he is either a liar or really knows nothing about his daughter’s life. It could go either way.
Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson’s tour of New York City wouldn’t be complete without a trip to the celeb-infested Waverly Inn, where the girls’ fellow diners enjoyed a public spat with their meal. According to witnesses, the couple almost made it through dinner without causing a scene — but no dice:
We really did not pay much attention to them once we were seated, except at the end of their meal when Lindsay stood up and stepped/stumbled on Naeem’s foot. Without looking back or apologizing she headed straight out the door. We guess her exit was spontaneous as Samantha was behind her sputtering: ‘Are you leaving? Lindsay are you leaving? … I guess she’s leaving. She just left!’
I can safely say I have never participated in a public spat like most celebrities — are sources making up stories or do famous people just have no manners?
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In today’s batch of middle school news, Lindsay Lohan and not-so-secret girlfriend Samantha Ronson are sporting matching bracelets. OMG!! They must be totally in love.
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• Estelle Getty has passed away. RIP. [DListed]
• Khloe Kardashian says she learned a valuable lesson during her stint in jail: Don’t drink and drive. If only it were common knowledge, complete with posters everywhere, maybe this whole situation could have been avoided. Oh wait… [ICYDK]
• Billy Bob Thornton seems to think Angelina Jolie is dying to shoot a movie with him. We’re sure that’s at the top of her priority list at the moment. [INO]
• Why James Blunt is still getting laid. [Yeeeah]
• Britney Spears is on the hunt for a girlfriend. Is this now part of the recovery process for addicts and crazies? [CityRag]
• Speaking of Brit, it’s nice to see her happy with her boys. Seriously. [PS]
ANYONE SURPRISED? “[Lindsay Lohan] is celebrating her 22nd birthday with a prom-themed party at Teddy’s at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. … Lohan is wearing a pink chiffon minidress. Samantha Ronson is in a tuxedo.”
Pamela Anderson, whose mother seems to have the right idea:
It’s really weird because I’ve never been with a girl. Writing about it was as far as I got. Lately my mother’s said, ‘I wish you were gay, considering your choice in men.’
It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for: California officials have officially made same-sex marriage official!
At 5:01 PM, clerks began issuing the state’s first same-sex marriage licenses. And, as a proper institution, the ladies went first. Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin, who have been together 55 years, inaugurated the festivities in San Francisco, while Robin Tyler and Diane Olson did it up in Los Angeles county. The latter were the original plaintiffs in the case that led to California Supreme Court’s decision to overturn the ban on gay marriage.
BLIND ITEMING “Which starlet with an often-troubled boyfriend actually plays for the other team — and puts up with her boy toy’s habits to maintain hetero appearances?”
• Jossip made the cut, but where would Mollygood fit? [ONTD]
• We have a new entry in the Biggest Diva in Hollywood competition: Chris Martin. [ICYDK]
• Violet Affleck — the spawn of Ben and Jennifer Garner — is adorable. Of course she is. [INO]
• Lindsay Lohan took a break from her lesbian relationship to make out with a guy. [PS]
• Naomi Campbell’s creative agent, on a picture showing NC collapsed after a possible night of drinking: “Naomi was playing this trust game, where you fall into a friend’s arms.” [DListed]
Tila Tequila, the STD-ridden reality show loser who does the GLBT community no favors, is clearly delusional. At last night’s Hollywood premiere of The Love Guru, she announced that she played an integral part in California dropping the ban on gay marriage:
[The legalization of gay marriage] is because of me — I definitely think [my show] has helped the movement. Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about [same sex relationships]. Then they realized, ‘Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine.’ The next thing you know, [gay marriage] is legal.
We’re sure the Supreme Court took one look at Tila performing fellatio on a pickle and being passed around in a family hot tub orgy and thought, “You know what? This gay marriage stuff isn’t so bad after all. Looks like good clean fun.”
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Those damned lesbian rumors continue to dog Queen Latifah. Or could they be true?
It depends on whether you believe the National Enquirer - or The View - which claims the rap star, who avoids answering sexually-related questions, plans to wed her long-time lesbian love, Jeannette Jenkins.
Lindsay Lohan and her alleged lesbianism have message boards working overtime. Here are some snatches from DataLounge’s impossibly long string of comments:
FYI people, LL has been closeted in La La landed for a few years now. In fact, since she was around 19. That’s also when she started to get fucked up. there have been women before Sam. 3 that I can think of off the top of my head. Semel, Demme, and Heidi Cortez. and perhaps others who were never made public…
LOHAN NOT COMING OUT TO ‘OK!’ “Lindsay Lohan has apparently passed on an offer by OK! magazine to say she’s gay. Insiders told Page Six that Lohan and OK! are in talks to do a cover where Lohan ‘comes out’ about her relationship with gal pal Samantha Ronson, and the mag has offered her ‘around $1 million to do the cover.’ One source said, ‘Lindsay really wants this to happen and she needs the money.’ Lohan’s rep denies there’s a deal, however, saying, ‘They sent offers and we passed.’” But wait: Passed because she’s not gay or because she’s not interested in coming out?
Hayden Panettiere, desperately seeking attention:
It’s great to be single. It’s great to have boyfriends. Or girlfriends. There are occasions when you kiss your best friend growing up, having fun and goofing about. Like perfecting your technique.
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Everyone’s favorite relationship guru, Spencer Pratt, gets patriotic on us this week with his Radar advice column. A woman writes in to ask if she should stay faithful to her deployed husband or begin a secret lesbian relationship with another military wife. Um, OK. Spencer then describes what cheating means to him, and it’s kind of deep until he suggests a three-way.
The aforementioned husband must be really proud to serve our country in order to protect our freedoms — freedoms like receiving cheating advice from a D-list reality show loser.
Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were in nesting mode last night in LA as they stocked up on groceries for their love shack.
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