A Lopez family “source,” describing the most believable scene ever:
Jennifer wants to be the perfect mother, but she crumbles if any normal little thing goes wrong. If the twins cry, she thinks it’s because she’s a bad mom, and bursts into tears herself. Marc had to sit her down and make her understand that she’s a good mom and it’s normal for babies to cry.
[Source]
Scarlett Johansson wasted no time in debuting her engagement ring from fiancé Ryan Reynolds at last night’s Costume Institute Gala at NYC’s Metropolitan Museum of Art. Pretty much every celebrity you can imagine was in attendance (except for Reynolds), and 95 percent of the wardrobe choices made our heart cry.
Click through for more pictures than you could have ever asked for. CONTINUED »
MANY THINGS WRONG “Jennifer Lopez wants to Tom Cruise to be godfather to her newborn twins. The ‘Jenny From The Block’ singer — who gave birth to son Max and daughter Emme on February 22 — has convinced husband Marc Anthony to give Tom the role despite their differences in religious beliefs. Tom, a devout follower of the mysterious religion of Scientology; Lopez and Anthony Catholic. … Tom … has already showered the twins with gifts. The actor reportedly spent around $200,000 on designer christening outfits for Max and Emme … “
Jennifer Lopez and dusty husband Marc Anthony got a $6 million payday when they gave People magazine exclusive photo rights to their new twins. It was an absurd amount of money paid to absurd people for an absurd reason, and guess what: it’s already being absurdly spent.
Lopez is now the proud, shameful owner of $2.6 million earrings, which, if you don’t know, are just tiny things that dangle off the wearer’s earlobes. This is our world.
Jennifer Lopez debuted her post-babies body this weekend at New York’s Shine A Light premiere, but from the looks of things, she should have stayed home with the twins. Those babies have no hope of a normal life so long as they’re being raised by Skeletor and whatever alien J.Lo is striving to be.
[Source]
J.NO “Not only has Jennifer Lopez sold her baby pics to People mag for a cool $6 mil — she got the mag to agree to stop calling her J.Lo! … We’re also told J.Lo instructed People, in addition to the loot and the name thing, that her hubby, Annie Leibovitz wannabe Marc Anthony, has to be the one to shoot the photos.”
IT’S ABOUT TIME “It’s double the baby joy for Jennifer Lopez and husband Marc Anthony: They’re the proud new parents of twins, a boy and a girl. … The babies were born at 12:45 a.m. ET on Friday in Long Island, N.Y., says her rep, Simon Fields.”
Queen of Pilates Madonna partnered with Gucci last night to host a UNICEF charity dinner and auction. Celebrities came out in droves to wear Gucci clothing, fatten themselves on rich cuisine (”tart of goat cheese, foraged mushrooms, truffled mashed potatoes”) and bid on extravagant leisure opportunities, all for the benefit of those who can’t afford such luxuries.
Tom Cruise bid $100,000 for the opportunity to convert play sports with Alex Rodriguez and David Beckham, but was summarily outbid by more than 200 grand. “But how will he write a check with no fingers?” an insider heard Cruise whisper. The action star was then quiet for the remainder of the evening.
Later, an attendee paid $600,000 to take a dance class with Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow.
…SO WHICH IS IT? “North Shore University Medical Center denied reports today that pregnant Jennifer Lopez, who is expecting twins, has checked into the Manhasset hospital. Two hospital sources said she was there and that security had been tightened. ‘She is not in the hospital,’ said spokeswoman Adina Conn. However, one of the sources said the singer has checked in under a pseudonym.”
Jennifer Lopez looked positively drugged at her baby shower in New York City this weekend. We’ve never seen the motherly glow look so glazed over.
[Source]
Despite a noted dwindling of enthused gays in their ranks, Jennifer Lopez’s audiences are still full of vim and glitter, as was strikingly obvious last night when she broke the news to a concert crowd that she is indeed with child. At the revelation, fans shrieked with such delight one would think they planned on one day holding the child, which they won’t. Ever.
Lopez explained that she didn’t announce the pregnancy until the final show of her El Cantante tour so that people would pay attention to her and not the baby. Precious.
[Source]
That’s what we think.
Update: That’s what Us knows.
More from Lopez’s album release party under here.
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Because we were too busy soaking our Indian effigies in gasoline in preparation for today’s celebrations, we missed out on the Jennifer Lopez concert at Madison Square Garden last evening, the one in which she was going to announce her pregnancy. Luckily, Jossip’s adman was there to get the lowdown:
Jennifer Lopez did not announce that she was preggers last night but, did allude to it and she definitely is.
However, JLo was not the star last night. the Puerto Ricans went ape shit for Marc! i felt like i was one of the only white boys there and it was lacking on the homos too but, Jennifer Hudson was in the front row and LL Cool J and Fat Jo both performed with JLo.
And there you have it.
More from the show under here.
CONTINUED »
Sources tell Page Six that Jennifer Lopez will officially announce her much speculated pregnancy tomorrow at her Madison Square Garden concert here in New York City. The congratulatory screams from the audience should be enough to soundly rattle the fetus where it lies; an apt metaphor for being born into fame.
• Ummmmmm…so is he racist? And to whom did he sell his soul to get that fucking voice. [BWE]
• That’s what people get for trusting labels. [DListed]
• Ditch the bra, babe; your breasts are harder than Chinese algebra. [HT]
• Which one is Stepford Spice? [ICYDK]
• “Rat Face” is pejorative, right? [Yeeeah]
• Jack Burton or Jack? Too close to call. [CityRag]
I just discovered this site. While only marginally funny most of the time, hilarious achievements in Photoshop, like the one above, can be found scattered throughout. Nice to know that even Johnny Depp is just a few thousand burgers away from gross.
Plenty more.
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Marc Anthony has reportedly beefed up wife Jennifer Lopez’s security team after she received death threats from animal rights activists who are upset that she wears fur in public.
According to a friend, an animal-rights extremist has been sending letters threatening ‘to kill her in public, just like the slaughtered animals whose fur she wears.”
The source says J.Lo initially dismissed the notes, which have been arriving for a month, as lunatic junk mail. But husband Marc Anthony isn’t taking the matter lightly.
“He has hired two off-duty police officers, in addition to her usual security team, to watch over Lopez whenever she makes public appearances,” says the pal.But a rep for PETA (who we trust is not sending the threats) said yesterday: “All violence is wrong. But J.Lo needs to stop the real violence she promotes and subsidizes rather than give herself extra protection she doesn’t need.”
Nice to see that the chucklehead animal rights activists are still operating with the same logic skills as angry bullies. Killing to stop killing is the wisdom of death row, and it makes you no better than the slaughterhouse foreman.
[Source]
Wait a minute, isn’t Us having an awards banquet for Paris and Lohan like American Hunter having an awards banquet for moose and deer?
[Source]
Editor
