The CFDA Fashion Awards, held last night at the New York Public Library, honored excellence in fashion design but also served as a venue for Victoria Beckham to crash as many photo opportunities as possible.
After the jump: How many Poshes can you find? CONTINUED »
We have a feeling these Victoria Beckham ads aren’t doing Marc Jacobs any favors.
• What awful, awful things happened to this man to make him want to live like this? [DListed]
• “Marc Jacobs = Andy Warhol” Um, no. [FS]
• Heather Mills is set to release a self-help book called Getting Healthy with Heather. Surprisingly, the book does not recommend marrying a music legend and then taking $50 million from him. [ICYDK]
• “10 Toys That Made You Gay” [CityRag]
• Britney Spears is still in Costa Rica with Mel Gibson, undoubtedly spending her days suntanning and learning of all the benefits of Catholicism. [HT]
Someone was actually brave enough to try on the new Heidiwood collection, and the reviews were as terrible as we imagined: “Heidiwood [is] the equivalent of having once typed up a recipe and auditioning for Top Chef.” And there’s more:
Everything we saw still gave us sticker shock. Paper-thin tanks for $27? Flimsy, panty-line-molesting dresses at nearly 40 bucks? Sure, that’s a steal compared to Marc Jacobs, but not far enough removed from what you’d pay at the Gap for something that’s at least 100 percent cotton and unlikely to give you a rash. When $37 seems exorbitant for a dress, you know you’ve got problems.
Let us put it this way: When someone is willing to fork over $100+ for one of Lauren Conrad’s simple dresses but simply cannot fathom spending even 20 bucks on a Heidiwood design, you know it’s time to pack up and head back to the plastic surgeon’s office. Unfortunately, all the surgical procedures in the world couldn’t give Heidi a functioning brain or personality.
[Source]
We’ve been saying for years that people who spend thousands of dollars on shoes and purses are adult babies. Nice to see Marc Jacobs has finally admitted it.
[Source]
Guess who turned 30 years old over the weekend! Give up? It’s this beautiful human being at left.
Perez Hilton celebrated what he called his “Quinceanera Part 2″ at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel — yes, the Beverly Wilshire actually let this man on the premises. Don’t ask us why.
In honor of this special occasion, “friends” of Perez showed up to take pictures on the red carpet and make nice with the man who could potentially ruin their reputations. The typical famewhores were in attendance, including Speidi, Nick Cannon, Jerry O’Connell and Harvey Levin … but Marc Jacobs? We are disappointed in you.
And Kim Vo, bless his heart, has taken the Britney failure a lot harder than expected. It’s OK that you couldn’t fix that tranny mess, honey — her hair is something that can only be tamed by Ken Paves. That doesn’t mean you need to show up with “Viva Perez” sharpie’d on your shirt.
• “Our Favorite Powerful Black Men” [SH]
• Victoria Beckham continues to be publicly humiliated by Marc Jacobs. [DListed]
• David Schwimmer’s life is going swimmingly after Friends. Matt LeBlanc fumes. [PS]
• “Billy Bob teeth”? [Yeeeah]
• Molly Ringwald will never stop being beautiful. Unfortunately, the same can not be said for Ducky, who is now the dweeb on Two and a Half Men. [CityRag]
• We’re gay for Michael Stipe, who today issued a press release to let the world know that his two band mates are heterosexuals. [ICYDK]
• Kate Beckinsale on sushi: “At least a vagina would be warm.” [INO]
• Kim Kardashian stumps for StarKist. [HT]
Marc Jacobs held his annual holiday costume party last evening. It had an Arab theme and, if the host was this ethnically sensitive, imagine how the guests behaved. Hint: So many fake breasts in New York! (It fills us with such a distinct pride to know that not even the demure dress codes currently gripping the war-torn Middle East can keep American women from showing their boobs.)
Prepare yourself for the mysterious, slightly NSFW Oriental delights that beckon you from beyond the jump.
The addict and the pusher are an ugly pair, so forgive us for not celebrating this collision: “Victoria Beckham has indeed been styled, photographed, and paid…for the Spring ‘08 Marc Jacobs ads.”
Fashionista says this partnership means Beckham is “undeniably cool,” but they call Dakota Fanning cool in the same breath, so…
Which high-fashion designer uses a wingman to lure young gents back to his NYC apartment with the instructions to get them drunk enough to seduce and then disappear?
And so we’re left to deduce which gay, predatory designer is the scummiest in a highly-gay, predatory industry. Beware your guesses, one indelicate move and you could find yourself in homophobe territory. Also, remember Marc Jacobs is engaged.
[Source]
Marc Jacobs is reportedly feeling quite affronted by the popular conjecture that, while a packed house waited hours for his most recent show to begin, he was leisurely having drinks at a bar. Quote the tailor, “That is bullshit! That is bullshit!” Jacobs then threatened to have next year’s show in Paris instead of New York. (Oh, no!) I suggest he first tell his mommy.
From Samantha Critchell, Washington Post: “wearable clothes wasn’t the point here”
Is it ever? Goodbye, Fashion Week.
More Marc Jacobs under here.
CONTINUED »
Of course, not everyone has the luxury of being able to step over Fashion Week as if it were an errant mess on a city sidewalk. Occasionally, notable people are present for – and even active participants in – the clamorous, glamorous hubbub. To these precious few (or is it gullible many) we briefly offer our attention and pity.
A creep, a newly single father and a gay rock icon walk into a fashion show…
More of this joke after the jump.
CONTINUED »
After weeks of railing against bullshit ideals of perfection, being so dogmatic about the importance of being comfortable in your own skin and mocking materialism, it’s really tough for me to say this; but occasionally—very occasionally—losing some weight, getting contact lenses, cutting your hair and wearing an expensive tuxedo is such a good idea it makes people go, “Wi-who-na?” because you look damn near perfect.
[Source]
• Pamela Anderson going back to her patient zero. [DListed]
• Marc Jacobs now back in rehab after the drugs helped him release a beautiful spring line. [WWD]
• If you really hate Simon, just vote for that East Indian boy everyone calls a girl. [BWE]
• Depauw fights exclusion with exclusion. [Jossip]
• Angelina in Africa. She should just marry it if she loves it so much. [ICYDK]
• Disney upset over Keira Knightly porno comic. Let’s hope they never find out that Donald’s a Nazi. [Egotastic]
• Britney rounds out the shattered innocence with an eating disorder. [ASL]
And then POW!, Marc Jacobs knocks it out of Oz and back into metropolitan chic, thereby reminding everyone why girls from the Upper East Side to Trenton can agree on his skirts.
Remember when I told you espionage is cute? Well, this stuff takes that vibe to a whole new, film noir, Dick Tracy level that makes me sentimental for the old days, but without all the riots and sit-ins.
PS How much more handsome is Marc Jacobs now that he got a haircut?
Editor
