Beach blanket belligerence!
A group of paparazzi and the Malibu surfers who attacked them last weekend – to protect the privacy of Matthew McConaughey, say the surfers – have taken to Web site comment boards to taunt and threaten one another with promises of future attacks. What began as just standard American race-bating has become promises of a photographer vs surfer beach rumble, set to go down this Saturday. Unfortunately, we don’t think there’s enough time between then and now to come up with a way to knock Southern California into the briny depths, so, if you’re in the area, go and watch these idiots smash each other’s hollow heads like so many tan jack-o’-lanterns. And take pictures!
After the jump, some of the really witty verbal jabs.
CONTINUED »
Gawd, is there anything worse than rich kids from California?
This weekend in Malibu, a bunch of tanned turds in board shorts chased some paparazzi down the beach before physically assaulting them and smashing their cameras. The surfers, upset that the photographers were filming Matthew McConaughey on their beach, also called the paparazzi “faggots” and demanded that they “get a real job.”
“This is a real job,” a photographer is heard to say in the video after the jump. “What do you do?” “I fuckin’ drink beer and party,” replies one young assailant. To which his friend adds, “WHOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Click through and weep for the future.
CONTINUED »
• Guess that celebrity baby picture. [SH]
• Soon-to-be father Matthew McConaughey still doesn’t know when to call it a night. [DListed]
• Naomi Campbell is acting crazy again. All is right with the world. [INO]
• The producer of Lindsay Lohan’s latest film is annoyed by all the paparazzi who stalk the set. Nobody could have seen that coming. [ICYDK]
• Just in time for summer: How to throw a pool party without actually owning a pool. Bonus lesson: How to be a d-bag. [Jossip]
Texas beatnik Matthew McConaughey is rumored to be Marvel Studios’ first choice to play Captain America in a movie slated for release in early 2011.
Con: Captain America never fights crime shirtless. Pro: Captain America’s indestructible shield can double as an indestructible drum when the Captain smokes his indestructible gravity bong.
Why is Matthew McConaughey, a man with a well-publicized aversion to deodorant, doing cologne commercials? And how much did it cost to have him completely abandon his belief?
• These women make Tyra Banks look tolerable. Good grief! [SH]
• JLo is preparing for Rumpelstiltskin! [DListed]
• Madonna as film director? That ought to be…interesting. [PS]
• Models on the red carpet! It’s the only time these people don’t get paid to stand around and get their picture taken. [HT]
• Who said it: “Sometimes when a woman falls for a guy she [asks him to change], and he changes so much that she loses her Huck Finn, the rascal in the man…” [INO]
• What does Mr Chow put in that chicken? [ICYDK]
• They’re not laughing with her. [CityRag]
• Cheaters suck, huh? [NYT]
SHIRTLESS MATEO STRIKES AGAIN “Fool’s Gold, the romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey, was the top film at U.S. and Canadian theaters this weekend, garnering $22 million in ticket sales for Time Warner Inc.” What, was Meet the Spartans sold out?
From our inbox:
HOLLYSCOOP EXCLUSIVE: Matthew McConaughey refers to the unborn child(ren) as ‘they’ at the premiere of Fool’s Gold. Could they be expecting twins?
Here’s a better question: Could Hollyscoop be grasping at straws?
McConaughey tooled around the red carpet at the Fool’s Gold premiere last night, talking about how he’s going to be a cool dad and how he won’t know the sex of the baby until it arrives.
Surprisingly, other people actually showed up to the premiere. No word on whether or not they sat through the movie, but our money’s on “no.”
[Source]
• No hyperbole: Jared Leto’s new song is the worst one I’ve heard in months. [ICYDK]
• “…Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert were making out at Tenjune in NYC last night.” [DListed]
• TV celebrity Katherine Heigl still smokes American Spirits! Where are the Dunhills, baby? [EBG]
• Jessica Alba’s having a boy. You better believe his friends going to have a field day with the MILF jokes. [PS]
• Avril Lavigne may be pregnant with the world’s smallest baby. [INO]
• “Bad luck charms” and “curses” aren’t real. Wear the hat, Jessica. [HT]
• “Hey, your natural smell smells, one, like a man, and, two, smells like you.” [Yeeeah]
• How gay is Top Gun? [CityRag]
• Unfortunately, the tolls of the campaign trail do not care how inopportune the moment. [NYP]
• Nicely done, E!. [DListed]
• From behind, Matthew Perry looks like Mel Gibson. [PS]
• 23-year-old Scarlett Johansson is said to be engaged, meaning 25-year-old Scarlett Johansson is going to be divorced. [HT]
• At this point, a faux hawk is actually worse than a mullet. Perhaps it always has been. [ICYDK]
• Mena Suvari makes Beyond Thunderdome cute [INO]
• Matthew McConaughey gets some shirtless stretches in before some shirtless running. To be followed by a shirtless dinner and some shirtless Cranium. [CityRag]
Tequila lover/actor Matthew McConaughey and girlfriend Camila Alves are expecting a child together. McConaughey broke the news yesterday on his personal Web site. And yes, the words “blessed” and “stoked” were used.
Got some blessed news…a celebration of life and bounty…a newborn concieved [sic]…..yes, my girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together…its [sic] 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far…we are stoked and wowed…
[Source]
• Merry Christmas (unless you have sex with dead people or men). [Queerty]
• And here come the attacks on Hillary’s looks. [DListed]
• Lily Allen’s pregnant, too! Something’s in the water. [PS]
• Why do all Playboy bunnies end up looking alike? [HT]
• Matthew McConaughey has broken his face, surely while doing something with his shirt off. [INO]
• Julia Roberts is a never-nude! [ICYDK]
• “Michael Jackson is a Damn Monster” [Yeeeah]
• People hate Tom Cruise. [CityRag]
• Tutankhamun not quite the looker we expected. [AFP]
• Clearly, not all models are stupid. [DListed]
• New Spice Girls track less “Voodoo” more Sunday School. [EBG]
• Following the devastating California fires, Matthew McConaughey decides he wants a much more expensive Malibu home than the one in which he currently lives. Huh? [PS]
• A Playboy Bunny and Hugh Hefner! So creative, you two vapid schmucks! [HT]
• Before we chastise: Are we sure she’s not handicapped? That might explain more than just this parking job. [ICYDK]
• A Julia Roberts interview that might reveal slightly more about Julia Roberts than you knew before! Whoa! Did you already know stuff about Julia Roberts? Double whoa! [INO]
• Oh, yeah, she’s pregnant. [Yeeeah]
• Lookalikes! What fun. [CityRag]
A Star cover’s quotes of regret:
• “Ya’ll crying-ass babies was mistakes!”
• “Ordering seven slices of radish was a huge mistake. Take away these five.”
• “All them years of margs and sluts in sarongs was a mistake, baby.”
• “We’ve got to fuck quietly so as not to awaken my lesbian wife, whom I mistakenly married believing she was straight.”
Dear Star,
Are most of your exclamation points a mistake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best,
Cord
• “Seriously, though, shoot me straight: They don’t mind ya’ll smoking some pot up north?” [DListed]
• Harrison Ford filming Indiana Jones and the Curse of Arthritic Joints. [HT]
• A WWE wrestler has killed his wife, his child and himself. I’m sure steroids played no part. [Yeeeah]
• Everyone’s really LOLing about this “Dramatic Chipmunk” character, huh? [CityRag]
• Rosie the flower child gives her children bullets to play with. People cry “foul!” Trump smirks, demands steak be “bloodier.” [ICYDK]
TMZ is reporting that consummate brofessional Matthew McConaughey coaxed several female extras out of their bathing suits and into celluloid history while on the set of impending blockbuster Surfer Dude.
A source…tells TMZ that during a recent pool party scene that featured a bunch of female extras in bathing suits, McConaughey, who is also a producer on the movie, told the ladies if they took their tops off they would get more money for their time. We’re told many of the women agreed. Welcome to Hollywood, girls!
With the female extras in all their bare-bosomed glory, Matt then requested girl-on-girl action for the scene. Sources tell TMZ that his request was not met with any complaints and only one extra left the set.
Sources say that the “prude nerd” who scuttled out can expect to have her locker vandalized before not getting invited to the prom.
More under here.
CONTINUED »
• “I went all the way to Paris and all I brought back was this crappy case of TB.” Doesn’t the infected clown look exactly like the “dreamboat” from The Office? [BWE]
• Just when you were forgetting the name Birkhead. [DListed]
• They have big breasted idiots in England, also. [HT]
• Becks wasn’t always handsome. [ICYDK]
• Danny Bonaduce behaving just as you’d expect. [Yeeeah]
• I bet this guy says “over yonder.” [CityRag]
Editor
