Desperate Housewives actress Nicolette Sheridan and desperate housewife fantasy Michael Bolton yesterday ended their two-year long engagement. Presumably the couple finally realized that joining their ungodly and insufferable corniness would unsettle the balance of the natural world, and they spared us all. Thank you, Michael and Nicolette.
Nicolette Sheridan has not improved with age.
Let this be a lesson to you: Plastic surgery + botox + a tranny-like appearance = bad news. It's basic math.
[Source]
• Two Girls One Cup set the bar for "viral videos" in 2007. Everything else is as boring as this. [BWE]
• Michael Bolton on the beach! Slow down, ladies, you'll wreck the bandwidth. [DListed]
• A look back at the Beckhams? Nothing to see here. [PS]
• Gossip Girl guy giving groovy, grotesque glances. [EBG]
• It's that pretty woman Paz Vega from that ugly movie Spanglish. [HT]
• Rather than mess up her toenail polish, Mary Kate Olsen risks stepping on a hypodermic needle. Priorities! So! Backwards! [INO]
• "Life’s great for Ivanka Trump, who admits there are real advantages to 'being young, blonde and, if you will, looking a certain way.'" We will not. [ICYDK]
• "So the homecoming queen has taken to fucking the school janitor." [Yeeeah]
• Jack Osbourne is still having trouble deciding on a face. [CityRag]
NBC is actually going to broadcast a show called Clash of the Choirs, simultaneously sating America's forgotten Sister Act 2 fans and proving that this writer's strike really needs to come to an end.
Michael Bolton, Patti LaBelle, Nick Lachey and Kelly Rowland are all involved with the show in some way or another, which should give you a clear understanding of just where their careers are going. Vanessa Minnillo will be hosting.
It's going to be terrible. Also: Quit putting church stuff on our TV!
• "No, I'm currently less insignificant!" [BWE]
• The woman who told you to go for "[her] pussy and [her] crack" dispenses more sage advice. [DListed]
• Aguilera's getting soft with old age. [ICYDK]
• Still thirsty for more pictures of a crazy girl in her bra and panties but too old and sane to ply a teen with alcohol? [HT]
• Coming soon to your local elevator. [Yeeeah]
• No worries, even NYC has idiots who treat their dogs like Christmas trees. [CityRag]
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