Here's something I've gathered while being laid up and subjected to the strange choices of the movie channels in Saudi Arabia: Natalie Portman very often plays a confidante to troubled, lonely men in films. It started with Léon; then she was the Lolita to Timothy Hutton's Humbert Humbert in Beautiful Girls; then she counseled the ultimate dysfunctional youth, Darth Vader, in the Star Wars prequels; and then Zach Braff moped around her house in Garden State. I suppose even her character in V for Vendetta loosely fits the mold.
Why is it that casting directors think her such a good companion for male saddies?
This is a photograph of a dog peeing on Natalie Portman in New York City yesterday. We could go into the beauty of the inherent irreverence of animals and all that, but, for once, we'll not cloud the picture with too many words. Enjoy.
Bald raver and teamonger Moby, who once bragged to us in a restroom that, save for one egg, he's been vegan for 22 years, reveals in the new issue of Spin magazine that he used to date Natalie Portman. He then claims that that relationship is part of the reason he's universally loathed.
"I guess in some people's eyes, [nerds] might be mildly sexy - and, as a nerd, I'm certainly happy to enjoy some of the effects of that. But as far as the very brief affair that I had with Natalie, it's made me a target of a lot of nerd wrath…You don't date Luke Skywalker's mom and not have them hate your guts."
It's not just nerds, Baldo. Thanks for ruining Natalie Portman.
[Source]
• You will? [Jossip]
• Lindsay Lohan's breasts as art? [DListed]
• Javier Bardem doesn't seem too excited about his impending Oscar. [PS]
• What does Hilary Duff do these days? [HT]
• "A Joker action figure modeled after Heath Ledger’s character in The Dark Knight is going to be released. There are two versions…one with a rocket launcher and another with a knife." [INO]
• How can a premiere happen so many times? [ICYDK]
• Here are some homes much too large for the people inhabiting them. Suck it, homeless situation. [CityRag]
Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman have been tirelessly promoting their new movie, The Other Boleyn Girl, in Berlin. ScarJo has a lot on her plate lately: She's pimping her new movie, fighting off Ryan Reynolds engagement rumors and recording an album. At first we were nervous for her, but then she had to go and name her album Anywhere I Lay My Head. Thanks for reminding us that your head is sharing a pillow with Reynolds every night. Slut.
[Source]
Behold: those hairlines. And those matching moles beneath their right eyes!
Apparently, W considers these two "Hollywood's Hot New Duo," though the photo accompanying the text tells a different story, one of Hollywood's cruelest Robert Palmer fans?
A coalition of powerful celebrities like Natalie Portman and that girl from Juno may be behind Entertainment Tonight and The Insider's decision to not air a two-year-old video of the recently deceased Heath Ledger in a coke den at LA's Chateau Marmont.
A spokesperson for the shows confirmed that the full video will not air.
"Out of respect for Heath Ledger's family, 'Entertainment Tonight' and 'The Insider' have decided not to run the Heath Ledger video which has been circulating in the world media," a show spokesperson said in a statement.
Of course, in the past, both programs have eagerly shown offensive footage of the dead, including pictures of Princess Di's fatal car crash and a drugged-out Anna Nicole Smith in clown makeup; why stop now? Rumor has it they're being intimidated into submission with threats of no further interviews.
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Natalie Portman, wispy actress and dream lover, has said one thing that turns her off to the idea of marriage is that gay Americans cannot also partake.
I’m not convinced about marriage. Divorce is so easy, and that fact that gay people are not allowed to marry takes much of the meaning out of it.
Haven't the gays been burdened with enough? Just say you're afraid of commitment like everyone else.
Fans of narrow, young-looking Jewesses will be crestfallen to discover that Natalie Portman has sworn off nude scenes. This following the attention she received after her bare turn in Wes Anderson's short, Hotel Chevalier.
…her saucy on screen antics were posted on the internet earlier this year - many months before the movie hit festivals in September.
The actress said she felt awkward about doing it, and has vowed to not participate in any flesh baring scenes again.
She said: "I'm really sorry I didn't listen to my intuition. From now on, I'm going to trust my gut more. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is say no."
There goes your one cerebral masturbatory fantasy, people. Back to Silicone Sluts #475.
Because heaven forbid Wes Anderson make a movie that doesn't include a dim, sensitive, troubled blond. That would be like Zach Braff not portraying a numb, upper middle class Northeasterner with major issues or Wesley Snipes playing a character who doesn't at least once remind everyone he's black.
More from the premiere under here, with a special appearance by James Van Der Beek.
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The problem with taking a girl to see a gorgeous love story set in Paris and starring Natalie Portman is that, by the end, your date will look like a clumsy nag relative to Portman, and that fancy steakhouse you went to will seem like a dog meat roach coach compared to espresso on the Champs-Elysees. It's like losing the big game and then taking the team to see Hoosiers.
[Source]
• I could look past this. [CityRag]
• Synonyms for John Mayer: anathema, foe, bugbear, backbiter, dickhead. [TheBosh]
• Angelina's brother says she's "too picky" about whom he dates. Here's an idea, pal: snatch back your balls and your life. [DListed]
• Victoria's like a fembot. [Egotastic]
• Hilary Duff at GLAAD. Where's Queerty? [HT]
• Thora Birch's dad insists on watching her sex scenes being filmed. Exacerbating things is that he's a former porn star. Yuck. Her wedding night should be pretty special. [NYP]
• Subtle, Costner. [Celebitchy]
• Why do people like shit? [CNN]
• Gene Simmons showing how ugly it is to be ashamed of growing old. [DListed]
• Guess Paris isn't as racist as we all thought. [MT]
• Nicole popping Adderall. Probably not to cope with her heavy course load. [TheBosh]
• Natalie Portman nude scene ruined by the fact that she's being tortured throughout. Well, at least I certainly hope it's ruined for you. [Egotastic]
• Does Jack Nicholson really use a chamber pot? [Jossip]
• Julia Roberts adding a third to the clan. [ICYDK]
• Brit's aunt begs her to return to Louisiana to clean up her life. Because nothing says clean living like drive through daiquiri stands. [Glitterati]
• Natalie Portman being perfect and setting my li'l unrequited heart aflutter. [Egotastic]
• I hope she bought the kosher franks. [DListed]
• That Girls Gone Wild d-bag is the only thing left that's making me hope there's a hell. [IDLYITW]
• Jennifer Hudson making you like her more than you like Beyonce. [JJ]
• Even though, apparently, everyone loves Beyonce. [HT]
• The Olsens and Saget look creepy together now. [PopSugar]
• Joe Biden gets his party started by saying that, in the past, black presidential candidates haven't been well-spoken or clean. NIIIIIIIIIICE! [NYT]
• Holy dear Rod Stewart. [PopWatch]
• Nice fancy sweater with horsies, Beckham. You don't look like an elderly man who hasn't left the couch in a decade at all. [DListed]
• Madonna's publicist has no idea whether or not she is going to adopt again. [HollyScoop]
• Well, would you be able to keep your paws off Gael Garcia Bernal? [PopSugar]
• Look who is playing kissy face. [A Socialite's Life]
• Kids want Jessica Alba to teach them a thing or two. [Junkiness]
• If were really gonna do this, can we not omit the animal cracker scene? [BWE]
• Mischa Barton topless, now in video! [Egotastic]
• Yeah, Scarlett probably wants you. [CityRag]
• Gwen Stefani's little Kingston already biting Maddox's style. So cute. [JustJared]
• Natalie vs. Scarlett: Round One. Fight. [PITNB]
• Kate Moss is wearing an engagement ring. Does that mean Pete Doherty spent money on something other than drugs? [PopSugar]
• The Hiltons need to stop opening their lady flowers for Brandon Davis. [X17]
• Guess where Janet Jackson went. [DListed]
• Check out this new Celeb Diet site, full of great tips. Or, if your me, a longer list of things you'll never have the motivation to do. [Celeb-Diet]
• The sad thing is, Michael Jackson is probably better at walking in heels than I am. [DListed]
• Jennifer Aniston told Oprah that she's still seeing Vince Vaughn, but to be hush hush about it, lest her husband Brad Pitt finds out.
• Shut up, Shanna Moakler, we all liked you better when you were just hitting Paris and keeping your mouth shut. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Mary Kate feels left out of the unattractive boyfriend trend, finds herself a French one. [Splash]
• Wanna feel uncomfortable? Check out Howard Stern make this woman cry while talking about her naked parties. [Egotastic]
• Natalie Portman may be shaking up with a billionaire (and no, it's not one of the YouTube nerds, thank god). [Junkiness]
• Kate Moss! Kate Moss! Kate Moss! [PopSugar]
• Stay off the roads in Pune, just a word to the wise. [Celebitchy]
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