• It's the first picture of Nicole Kidman's baby Sunday. Except … we can't see her. At all. [DListed]

• Shia LaBeouf will not have his pinky finger amputated. That sound you hear is the entire Indiana Jones cast and crew breathing a huge sigh of relief. [ICYDK]

• Ashley Olsen has decided Starbucks is so 2007. [PS]

• Saint Angelina Jolie will build an AIDS clinic in daughter Zahara's homeland of Ethiopia. She really can do no wrong as of late. [INO]

• Jessica Alba popped out her baby and got back on the chair. [CityRag]

• Naked pictures of a 2004 Christina Aguilera would be more exciting if it were, you know, four years ago. [Yeeeah]

Will Ferrell, offering thoughtful parenting advice to former co-star Nicole Kidman:

For me, talk to your children, at least once a week. If you've got time, do it two or three times a week. But otherwise, I find the times where I let weeks and weeks go by without talking to my children, that adds up.

[Source]

WRONG DAY "Nicole Kidman has given birth, her rep confirms to Usmagazine.com. The actress welcomed a girl, Sunday Rose Kidman Urban, Monday morning. The baby weighed 6 pounds, 7 ounces."

PEOPLE PREFER NON-CRAZIES "Advance ticket sales for Katie Holmes' Broadway debut in All My Sons are far below those for Nicole Kidman's 1998 run in The Blue Room. … Less than $1 million in tickets for All My Sons — which begins previews in September — have been sold compared to $4 million for Kidman's Broadway stint, according to the paper."

A pregnant Nicole Kidman's children, adopted in the 90s with Kidman's ex-husband Tom Cruise, don't love her anymore. That's the bad news. The good news is that she's resigned herself to that fact and she's not really putting up a fight.

She tells Heat magazine, "It's a pity they have been manipulated by the father to distance themselves from me."
…
"They are closer to their new mom now," she admitted.

Oh well. Can't win 'em all. Good thing you have that bun in the oven - you can just replace them, like they did you!

[Source]

At left is a six-months pregnant Nicole Kidman at the CMT Music Awards on April 14th. At right is Kidman last night at the Academy of Country Music Awards. Isn't the human body amazing?

[Source]

Nicole Kidman, the world's thinnest pregnant woman, has limited contact with the two children, Isabella and Connor, she and ex-husband Tom Cruise adopted years ago, according to Page Six. Bad news, especially because Kidman, a Catholic, wants the kids out of the Church of Scientology and under the yoke of her belief system. We hope someone has the heart to tell her it's much too late.

Nicole Kidman, who accompanied husband Keith Urban to last night's CMT Music Awards, was presented an award herself for being six months pregnant and still managing to look like a starving Ethiopian.

[Source]

TABLOIDIBAN "Iran has banned nine lifestyle and cinema magazines for publishing pictures of 'corrupt' foreign film stars and details about their 'decadent' private lives … The publications were banned by the press commission watchdog for 'publishing photographs of corrupt foreign artists and details about their decadent lives.' … The most significant magazines banned are Donya-ye Tasvir (World of the Image), Sobh-e Zendegi (Morning of Life), Talash (Effort) and Haft (Seven). … The latest issue of Donya-ye Tasvir carried articles about several Hollywood female stars including Naomi Watts, Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman, all accompanied by pictures."

This video is kind of confusing, as it mostly contains profanities and lots of moving camera work that is guaranteed to make you seasick. But, to clarify, here's what's happening:

Flynet photog Jeremy and his 53-year-old paparazzi friend were once again following Nicole Kidman and her bodyguard, David Garris, as they were making their way to the gym. The vehicle they were in stopped and the bodyguard stepped out, obviously in an agressive manner. Jeremy pulled out his video camera, hoping to question the bodyguard … but as you can see from the clip, Garris was in no mood to chat. Jeremy stepped back inside of his vehicle but that didn't stop Garris from attacking him anyway!

You tell us: Did the bodyguard go too far or did the pap get what was coming to him?

The New York Post is reporting that Nicole Kidman drank backstage at the Oscars:

Boozing backstage during the Oscarcast is a no-no. But if you're pregnant Nicole Kidman it's a yes-yes. She wanted white wine. She got it.

Which leads us to ask: If that were the case, why would the Post be the only news outlet reporting this? In an age where people notice if Miley Cyrus isn't buckling her seatbelt, you mean to tell us that nobody saw Nicole drinking alcohol and did anything about it? And who would just hand a pregnant woman alcohol?

Oh, right. It's Hollywood.

The Post: Today's real champion of truth.

[Source]

We hear word that some oddly popular event happened last night in Los Angeles. We're not really sure what it was all about, but we've got pictures of some of the self-congratulatory, insular men and women in attendance after the jump.

CONTINUED »

Forbes released a list of Hollywood's most influential couples — and we have some issues with it.

Who shouldn't be on the list: Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo. Seriously? The only thing that couple influences is our desire to vomit. And then there's Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz, who we thought broke up three years ago.

Who should be on the list: Britney Spears and frappuccinos. If those two don't go the distance, there's no hope for any of us.

The full list, after the jump.

CONTINUED »

Irish party boy Collin Farrell said in an interview that Nicole Kidman dud The Golden Compass is responsible for the financial hardships of New Line Cinema and the subsequent shelving of his movie Pride and Glory.

They pushed it just now to 2009. [A reporter starts to speak, Farrell interrupts] I was going to say it's not because, there's this rumor going around that it's because it's a mess or it's a really bad film.

I feel the need to kind of speak up, not from my own end but genuinely for Gavin O'Connor because he wrote and directed it.

It's just a really really strong piece, but I think New Line lost the bollocks on "The Golden Compass," you know love, and they literally don't have enough money to market things.

Reports say that throughout the interview the frustrated Farrell ashed his cigarette into and drank from the same cup.

[Source]

• Members of the Jossip family dared question Mrs. Huxtable and Darth Vader! [SH]

• It's the 20th anniversary of Sweatin' to the Oldies! And yet, Americans: Fatter than ever. New methods, Simmons. [DListed]

• Kate Winslet does what Nicole Kidman won't. So now it's this and aging gracefully. [PS]

• Halle Berry: "I want to stay pregnant forever." Mormons, that's your cue: Ready, set, convert! [ICYDK]

• What exactly is Style Your Slim? And why such an awkward name? [INO]

• In case you missed it, Jezebel: "Man, I love this skank! I know most of you hate this chick, but for me Heidi Montag defines everything I want in a woman: dumb, fake, hot-bodied, and most importantly, useless." [HT]

• Paula Abdul is apparently not all there, but you knew that. [Yeeeah]

• TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! [CityRag]

• "Chhattisgarh priest kills himself, promises rebirth" [Reuters]

George Clooney, on Peacemaker co-star Nicole Kidman's pregnancy: "At least she is older than 16." OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It is not a good time to be a Spears. Then again, was it ever?

[Source]

THE POPULATION GROWS "Nicole Kidman and husband Keith Urban are expecting their first child, her rep confirms. 'The couple are thrilled,' Catherine Olim says in a statement."

The emotionless Nicole Kidman has dropped out of upcoming World War II film The Reader, many say due to the fact that she is with child.

On Friday, a reporter for Daily Telegraph in Sydney, Australia, asked Kidman point blank whether she was in the family way. She "refused to answer," the paper said.

And God knows she's got the best poker face in the world. Just wait for the bump, you jackals.