IT’S HARD OUT HERE FOR A PAP “A photographer for a Florida newspaper claims he was pummeled and robbed [Tuesday] night by R&B singer Chis Brown’s bodyguards. … He claims when he snapped Chris Brown in an SUV, Brown’s bodyguards chased him and forced him to the ground. One guard put his knee on [the photographer]’s jaw and took his $3,000 camera.”

You can be sure it’s a huge day in the TMZ newsroom: Britney and K-Fed are back in court today for their child custody hearing. And Brit even showed up, looking like she had bathed and put some effort into her clothing (no grease stains!). It’s a huge turnaround after the last time she attempted to go to court with Sam Lutfi and Adnan Ghalib in tow; one thing that hasn’t changed, however, is good ol’ TMZ, who is streaming live outside the courthouse. It’s fascinating, if you like staring at a horde of desperate photographers and random cars.

Paris Hilton is due for some new legal troubles, and our wish has been granted: She and boyfriend Benji Madden are facing a hit and run charge after driving over a photographer’s foot last night in LA.

The accident happened as the two left Foxtail nightclub. Benji drove over the photographer’s foot and stopped to assess the situation after hearing the pap cry out in pain. Naturally, he then sped off, because the two famewhores have no consideration for others.

The photographer is likely not in any pain, but he went ahead and pressed charges because he’s not as stupid as Paris and Benji.

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THAT’S NOT EXACTLY A PUNISHMENT “The paparazzi are done being mad at Mariah Carey’s ultra-diva antics — now they’re trying to get even. Mimi’s been unofficially placed on a paparazzi blacklist after breaking unwritten fame game rules at a CD signing event last week. … That means no pictures, no coverage, no love.”

In Touch picked up on sister mag Life & Style’s Suri Cruise obsession this week with stalker photos and insider details surrounding the tot’s birthday party.

Tom Cruise reportedly spent $100,000 on the extravaganza, which is so ridiculous we don’t even need to say anything about it. The cost included $17,000 for fresh flowers, $45,000 on catering and $5,000 for cakes. But these weren’t just any pastries: Each guest received a personalized cake and Suri was treated to a four-tier cake covered in buttercream frosting, bumblebees and butterflies. Oh, and Katie received $230 worth of Sprinkles cupcakes. Who knew she ate?

The celebration continued into the evening when Tom and Katie invited their own friends — including Eva Longoria Parker, David and Victoria Beckham, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, and Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy — to a private bash. Because we’re sure that was on Suri’s wishlist.

It’s a good thing they pulled out all the stops for this milestone birthday, seeing as how Suri likely had already forgotten about it by breakfast.

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For a couple who acts annoyed by all the recent press attention, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz sure don’t seem to have a problem tipping off the paparazzi to their hotel hallway cuddle sessions.

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Who does our heart go out to? Publicist Jill Fritzo at PMK, who’s going to have to handle another round of gay denials for client Wentworth Miller.

Thanks to Brothers & Sisters actor Luke MacFarlane (who plays Scotty, a gay character) coming out in an interview, the gossips will inevitably start marching through the actor’s paparazzi shots to see who he’s been linked to.

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Because Heath Ledger simply cannot rest in peace, a lawsuit was filed today alleging the late actor was set up in 2006 by two photographers who offered him cocaine and secretly videotaped the exchange for profit. (Remember the little video that Entertainment Tonight promoted but never ran after Heath’s death?)

The suit was filed by “Jane Doe,” who was a freelance reporter for People at the time of the incident. Her then-boyfriend, Splash photographer Darren Banks, met up with Heath after the SAG awards and brought him to Doe’s room at the Chateau Marmont.

Problem is, Heath wasn’t aware that he was hanging out with Splash photogs, and they quickly offered him cocaine. After the men began snorting, one of the Splash guys left the room to secretly film Ledger from the room’s balcony. Once Heath caught on to what was happening, he became angry but was assured the tape would be destroyed — except we obviously know it wasn’t, because it was sold to Entertainment Tonight back in January for $200,000.

So why the lawsuit? Jane Doe is seeking unspecified damages on charges of fraud, intrusion, infliction of emotional distress and privacy violations because her voice is on the tape and she is afraid people will think she was doing coke. Because if anyone is the victim in all this, it’s Jane Doe.

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From W magazine’s Cameron Diaz cover story:

I’m done with L.A. Those guys [the paparazzi], you can’t get away from them. You have no options because everybody’s in a car. Here, I can walk down the street like everybody else. Not everybody is there to be rich and famous or attach themselves to rich and famous people. People want nothing from you. They just want to say, like, ‘Hey, how’s it going, Cameron?’ I like that interaction. I like to be in a place where I can be open to people and not worry about the consequences.

NO ESCAPE!!!!! “The Los Angeles police chief on Tuesday said a proposed new city law aimed at protecting celebrities from aggressive paparazzi would be ambiguous and impossible to enforce. … Los Angeles councilman Dennis Zine proposed creating a ‘personal safety zone’ to regulate paparazzi shortly after city police in January spent $25,000 to escort [Britney] Spears from her home across town to a psychiatric unit in the middle of the night. Zine suggested creating a minimum ‘personal safety zone’ of several feet of clear space between paparazzi and the individuals they are photographing. … Bratton said however that the proposal raised questions about who is classified as a ‘celebrity’ or ‘paparazzo,’ whether the LAPD is showing favoritism toward stars and whether the general public is entitled to the same protection.”

At the source, this caption accompanies the image at right:

Here is the foto of the day of Brintey Spears as she left the Mcdonalds in Malibu . We just got it from a freelancer. Guess how many photographers were taking this foto today? Three! It is a sign of the times.

[BuzzFoto]

The jury in the inquest to decide how Princess Diana and her boyfriend, Dodi Fayed, came to be in a fatal car crash in 1997, returned a verdict today of “unlawful killing.” The jurors ruled that the combination of Diana’s driver’s negligence and the paparazzi tailing her was the cause of her death. Nobody is being charged with anything, as the $6 million hearing — paid for with taxpayer funds — is more a public criticism than a trial.

Brandon Davis, the guy who’s famous for looking greasy and calling Lindsay Lohan a firecrotch, showed off more of that winning personality last night in LA. Click through and watch with pride as he calls one pap the N-word and another the F-word. Is it any wonder he and his equally disgusting brother are famous among Hollywood circles?

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Last night’s episode of TMZ featured a very special guest star in the form of Lindsay Lohan, who posed as one of the employees and poked fun at herself. We’ll hand it to TMZ and LiLo: We didn’t see it coming, and she pulled it off nicely. But now we’re afraid she’s started a new trend, and we can’t handle weekly celebrity guests on TMZ attempting to resurrect their careers.

A top photo agency head is claiming the paparazzi’s relationship with Britney Spears is weakening. “Over the weekend, there were less than a half dozen [photographers] covering Britney,” according to BuzzFoto founder Brad Elterman. “Yet there were 30 in the pack covering Miley Cyrus.” Elterman says the reason is because these Britney regulars want something “new and fresh,” which sounds a lot creepier considering Miley’s underage.

Seems the paps aren’t interested in normalcy, and instead are preparing for the next breakdown waiting to happen. So when Jamie Spears said he was going to get all the bad influences out of Brit’s life, he meant it.

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An ambitious young paparazzo was recently beaten “almost to death” by rival photographers who claimed he was encroaching on their turf. The victim, Alison Silva, alleges he was staking out Britney Spears‘ neighborhood when he was told, “You should not be here. Only X17 gets these shots.” When he refused to leave, Silva says he was then hit and kicked by three men, one of whom wielded a metal pipe. Silva is now suing the notorious X17 photo agency, the employer of his assailants (and former plaintiffs in a suit against Jossip Initiatives), for, among other things, negligent training, supervision and retention of unfit employees.

Although we know John Mayer is probably a pretentious tool, we can’t help but love him for the simple fact that he is so much smarter than the paparazzi and media who follow his every move.

Bruce Willis spent a lovely afternoon shopping with his girlfriend while his children waited in the car. But by the end of the day something set Bruce off, causing him to swear at the paparazzi and throw bottled water at them as his girlfriend sped off. That’ll show ‘em.

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