This might be interesting had Paris Hilton not already done it first: Khloe Kardashian will report to jail Friday to serve her 30-day sentence for DUI. You remember her DUI arrest, right? It was reenacted for an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Oh, I was the only one who watched it?
Anyhoo, the judge has decided to “make an example out of her,” but she will likely only serve less than one day of her 30-day sentence. Apparently even being a D-lister’s sibling is enough to get you the celebrity justice treatment.
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• Two of the most obnoxious people on the planet doing really good things. [INO]
• We can think of a lot more reasons for Nicole Richie to be sick of Paris Hilton, but this one will suffice. [ICYDK]
• The Simpson sisters drag their significant others along to terrorize Lake Tahoe. [PS]
• Eva Longoria becomes the latest celebrity to — gasp! — show off cellulite. [HT]
• Jennifer Lopez doesn’t have nannies because nobody wants to work for her, not because she’s an overachieving mother. [DListed]
• Sienna Miller is proud to be The Other Woman. [Yeeeah]
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NO WORRIES, NEONATAL HERPES IS VERY RARE “‘She’s not drinking. It’s the first time I’ve never seen her do that.’ Above source is a firsthand, regular and up close observer of Paris Hilton and her horniness, hotness and sometimes tankedlicious goings on. Said insider’s been posing and preening right alongside Ms. H at a few recent T-town soirees. Gosh, is this the new, freshly domesticated Mrs.-Madden-to-be Paris or Paris the teetotalist, perhaps (for whatever reason)? Or, to get very National Enquirer about it (as if there were any diff here at A.T., I mean, really), could this possibly be the new preggers Paris?”
… stealth-wealth signifiers appeal to Sylvia Toporkiewicz, a visitor from Poland, who was browsing late last month at the Sunglass Hut on Spring Street in SoHo. She weighed the hip factor of a pair of crystal-encrusted Versace frames against some equally costly but understated Ray-Ban glasses, choosing the Ray-Bans, because, she explained, “I don’t want to look Paris Hilton.”
(emphasis ours)
-From a banal Times story about even more banal people, some of whom have apparently outgrown their former queen
• Pam Anderson appeared on Big Brother in Australia because evidently “we don’t have it in America.” Except … we do. [DListed]
• Will Smith and Jada tell each other ahead of time if they want to have sex with other people. Ooookay. [INO]
• Jessica Biel doesn’t really care about marrying Justin Timberlake. That’s good, because neither do we. [PS]
• If the world needs one thing, it’s more wax statues of Miley Cyrus. [ICYDK]
• Amy Winehouse reportedly flashed her husband, Blake Incarcerated, while visiting him in prison. Blake then requested a longer sentence. [Yeeeah]
• Lauren Conrad almost has a Britney/Paris/Lindsay moment. [HT]
• Did Charlize Theron get plastic surgery? People with too much time on their hands want to know. [CityRag]
• Top 10 things overheard at Pam Anderson’s birthday party. [Yeeeah]
• Reality TV is about to get even worse: Paris Hilton wants to do a show with Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. [INO]
• Heidi Klum should know better than to prance around town in her husband’s jeans. [PS]
• Colin Farrell acts like a decent human being after hitting his neighbor’s parked car. Taking notes, Brit? [ICYDK]
• Which one of the twerps from Home Improvement got tasered? [DListed]
• Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong are really trying to keep their relationship under wraps. [DListed]
• Steve-O is being charged with assault after punching someone at the launch party for Paris Hilton’s clothing line. Seriously. [ICYDK]
• Rachel Hunter had the audacity to put on a few pounds. [Yeeeah]
• Ashlee Simpson’s baby bump has inspired her to dress like a hippie. [HT]
• Angelina Jolie’s doctor just held the most pointless press conference of all time. [PS]
• Starbucks is closing 600 stores due to poor sales. You think this has anything to do with Britney Spears getting her act together? [INO]
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• Yeah, this girl is definitely a Lohan. Poor thing. [ICYDK]
• According to foreign stalkers, Angelina Jolie hasn’t popped out the twins yet but she is in the hospital preparing for labor. [PS]
• Blake Lively doesn’t want to be compared to Paris Hilton: “I don’t go to clubs, I don’t party, I don’t dance on tables and I don’t like sex tapes.” We knew we liked her. [INO]
• Speaking of Paris, she says boyfriend Benji Madden won’t let her get a tattoo because he thinks she looks “pure” without. So it’s safe to say he’s officially delusional. [DListed]
• Why you should believe the Madonna rumors. [Jossip]
HOLY SHIT!!!!! “Paris Hilton is making good on her promise to become a better person. The 27-year-old socialite made an ‘extremely generous’ donation toward the construction of a medical building at Childrens [sic] Hospital Los Angeles, hospital officials said Thursday, although they did not specify the amount. ‘The children I have met through my involvement with Childrens [sic] Hospital have truly touched my heart,’ Hilton said in a statement. ‘I am proud to make a donation and lend my name to the fundraising effort to help children who are facing terribly serious illnesses.’”
• The Democratic presidential nomination process, summed up in eight short minutes. [SH]
• Amy Winehouse’s father thinks she should have a baby to stay off the drugs. Because we saw how well caring for another living thing worked out for Pete Doherty and his cats. [DListed]
• It’s safe to say Anne Hathaway should probably breakup with her sketchy boyfriend. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton and her stupid reality show went to Vegas, where we’re sure the remaining contestants fit right in amongst the tramps and STDs. [PS]
• File this under Best Idea Ever: Brokeback Mountain will be turned into an opera. [Us]
Pictures of Paris Hilton out in LA last night are causing a ruckus on the Internet because the camera angle makes her look a teensy bit preggers. We don’t buy it — we believe in staying positive.
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Lydia Hearst (who?), trying to start a stupid feud in order to make us care:
I went to college. I’m a supermodel. I have a legitimate career in journalism, television, fashion and designing. I’m a Hearst, not a Hilton!
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The MTV Movie Awards were held last night, and I admittedly couldn’t bring myself to sit through the hours-long crapfest. Just by looking at the pictures (after the jump), it’s obvious I didn’t miss much.
Anyone care to share exciting stories from the show (if you decided to punish yourself last night)? CONTINUED »
• Lindsay Lohan “acting” on last night’s season finale of Ugly Betty. [BWE]
• Daisy, Rock of Love 2 runner-up and argument against plastic surgery, has upgraded from Bret Michaels to Dave Navarro. Kind of. [DListed]
• Eva Mendes‘ rehab stint may have been part of the process of researching for a role. Sure. [INO]
• Terrence Howard needs to adopt Britney, Paris and Lindsay. [SH]
• Miley Cyrus is such a little slut. [OceanUp]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson kissed at a party in Cannes. Not sure why everyone is acting surprised. [People]
Good news, everyone: Paris Hilton’s new reality show has started production, and nobody has died yet. The heiress posted a new MySpace bulletin to tell us how “cool” and “fun” the whole process has been so far. She also proudly mentions that this show had more applicants than any other in history, proving that she just doesn’t get the joke. At all.
Poor little Nick Hogan. He’s barely made it into his eight-month reckless driving sentence, and he’s already pulling a Paris Hilton. Seems the baby Hulkster had different expectations going into prison, and now he has been calling his family nonstop to garner sympathy. According to documents, he complained to his mother about how horrible the treatment has become:
Had I known this, I would have rather gone to trial or I would rather, you know, appeal the case or something. I can’t deal with this for eight months. [My cell is] like the size of my bathroom. No windows or nothing. Just one little top bed thing. … All you do is sit there and think, and there’s nothing to think about.
Hey Nick, here’s an idea: Perhaps you could think about why you’re in jail in the first place. And, we don’t know, maybe you can grow from this experience? We don’t want to shoot for the moon here, but it’s worth a shot.
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Tila Tequila, unsuccessfully trying to convince us she is done with reality television:
I wanna do meaningful stuff. After a while you reach your goals and then what? You just prance around like Paris Hilton all day long and feel like you have to find the next scandal to stay big.
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Paris Hilton attended Sober Day 2008, an event hosted by the Brent Shapiro Foundation for Alcohol and Drug Awareness, this weekend in Beverly Hills. We’re guessing she has a different take on the meaning of “alcohol awareness.”
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