Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Crawling on the floor is really hard on your knees, but you can make a really great entrance that way." — Holly, The Girls Next Door
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I'm just Brian. I'm not, like, King George." — Brian, The Pick Up Artist
I'm afraid I have some bad news, you guys. Brian, the accidental star of our weekly feature Reality Bytes, was eliminated on last night's episode of VH1's d-bag competition The Pick Up Artist. Take a moment to honor him in silence, please.
OK, now that the mourning process is over, let's celebrate Brian's time on our television sets. The happy-go-lucky contestant who had terrible luck with women used his weekly exposure to introduce some fabulous new phrases that we now employ in our everyday vernacular. He also truly wanted to change and learn how to present himself in a way that is attractive to women. Unfortunately, his constant need to admit that he loves pickle juice signaled his demise on the show. This led to an emotional departure in which Brian announced he was finally ready to kiss someone "instead of a mannequin … or a guy." Good for you, Brian. Good for you.
After the jump: Our top five favorite quotes from the man of the hour. He will truly be missed. CONTINUED »
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I just farted in the bathtub. I didn't want you guys to smell it. Gotta keep the positive energy going. The bad energy goes in the bathroom." — Brian, The Pick Up Artist
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Elina, Annaleigh and Majorie, they had, like, a lesbian bath moment, apparently. … It was very loud." — Samantha, America's Next Top Model
So here I am, sitting in my living room suffering through an episode of Real Chance of Love (it's all for the good of Reality Bytes!) when Michael Phelps slides across my screen with no pants à la Tom Cruise in Risky Business. There is a Xenu!
Upon further investigating, I discovered that he was picked up alongside Kobe Bryant, Tony Hawk and Mr. Madonna himself, Alex Rodriguez, to promote the new Guitar Hero: World Tour. Out of all the ridiculous commercials Michael's starred in since the Olympics, this one is by far the best. (And, admittedly, most disturbing.)
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Don't look inside my butt crack cause I haven't wiped it in a while." — Johnny, The Island
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I thought my [outfit] was more grammatically correct for the occasion." — Sinsu, Paris Hilton's My New BFF
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Wanna know why I have on a hood today? Why I'm so theatrical? Because your photo shoot was theatrical — at the awards ceremony for the Fiercees. So for this judging I decided to be Little Black Riding Hood." — Tyra, America's Next Top Model
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "My team is a bunch of freakin' hooganigans." — Heat, I Love Money
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I feel like my uterus had a workout." — Brooke, Brooke Knows Best
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Why are the camels yelling at me?" — Bjorn, Exiled
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "If I pee up myself, this is for you." — Nikeysha, America's Next Top Model
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I'm gonna tell you what my problem with you is right now: You love to spread your legs." — J. Alexander, America's Next Top Model
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "This wine tastes like a mar-lett." — Creepa, From G's to Gents
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "They say the only two things on earth that can survive a nucular blast are cockroaches and slop." — Michelle, Big Brother
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "And some of you are still sewing? Question mark?" — Tim Gunn, Project Runway
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "This wiener just pushed on my head all day long." — Molly, Sunset Tan
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