Ah, CBS. We were expecting for Big Brother to not air preacher's son Ollie's homophobic rants that were captured on the live feeds — but during last night's episode, the show completely fabricated the entire scene. As you may recall, Ollie lashed out at fellow contestant Memphis during a heated argument in the backyard, and as Ollie walked away he told Memphis to "suck my dick, little faggot." Memphis replied, "What did you just call me?" and followed him inside as Ollie repeated himself multiple times. But according to last night's episode, Ollie muttered "red-headed cabbage patch kid" instead of his original rant. Uh, OK? Would it have killed CBS to either a) completely edit out that segment or b) bleep out the offensive words? Why the golden child edit? (Scene in question is at 0:50, compared to the real fight here.)
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "This wine tastes like a mar-lett." — Creepa, From G's to Gents
Behold the beauty of Dancing With the Stars' future champion, Lance Bass. We're pretty sure he's pointing his fingers and smiling with his eyes, which can only earn him extra points from the judges. Seriously though, we have a feeling it's going to be a battle of the divas this season: Susan Lucci, Cloris Leachman and Kim Kardashian are going to be tough competitors; the first two because they're awesome and the last one because she's a famewhore. Hopefully America will prove us wrong, but we've stopped expecting much.
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A handful of people are talking about America's Next Top Model again thanks to the addition of the show's first ever transgender contestant, Isis. She was reportedly discovered on the set of last season's "homeless youth" photoshoot, but claims to be a receptionist — which confuses us a bit. Weren't the extras in the shoot supposed to be homeless girls picked off the streets? What happened?
Anyway, here's a video of her talking about rainbows and puppies. We're off to investigate ANTM's phony claims.
Yes, I'm still the only person watching Big Brother. I can't help it, I'm addicted — mainly because the producers have perfected the art of casting people on the verge of insanity who come across as perfectly normal during the regular broadcast three times a week. On the live feeds, however, is where the real crazies come out, which brings us to Ollie, the preacher's son. CBS cast him as the straight-laced religious guy, as you can tell from his bio: "As the son of a preacher, Ollie grew up in a strict Pentecostal family where, in his father's church, faith healing and speaking in tongues were practiced. … To this day, Ollie does not drink, smoke or curse; staying true to the values he was raised with as a child."
Interesting, then, that he is the one in the house who constantly spouts off hateful and homophobic remarks. Last night he announced that Memphis, one of his enemies in the game, is "an undercover fag" — to which Jerry, the 75-year-old ex-Marine, warned him, "You gotta stay away from those little dirty old nasties." (Don't even get me started on Jerry.) To top it all off, Ollie told Memphis to "suck my dick, little faggot." You can catch that clip after the jump (around the 7:40 mark). CONTINUED »
Sad news for Denise Richards and Joel McHale, good news for the rest of us: Denise Richards [colon] It's Complicated has officially been canceled. Turns out even E! wasn't desperate enough to keep the unlikeable mother of two on the air. And we can't blame the network: We sit through a lot of reality TV, but this show was just plain unwatchable.
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Spencer Pratt entertained us yet again on last night's episode of The Hills with a thought-provoking speech on foreign relations and family values. Frustrated that his sister, Stephanie, is still "rolling around with LC," Spence declared that he wished he could make her his un-sister and then shot down Steph's hopes that one day everyone would just be civil: "It's like trying to tell Iran and Israel to get along. Its not gonna happen." … We're not even going to touch that statement.
I don't watch Dancing With the Stars but it's looking like I'll have to this season, thanks to the participation of my former boyfriend, Lance Bass. The official cast was announced today, and it also includes Kim Kardashian, Jeffrey Ross, Cloris Leachman and Susan Lucci.
But enough about the D-listers: Lance has officially been on America's radar for 10 years thanks to *NSYNC's July 1998 Disney special. At right is a clip from the show that made me fall in love. Who knew 10 years later Justin would date and dump Britney Spears, Joey would appear on DWTS and host a karaoke show, JC would judge some dance crew competition, and Chris would completely fall off the planet. Congrats, Lance: You're following the path of all great boy band has-beens.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? "American Idol is adding a fourth judge: Grammy-nominated songwriter Kara DioGuardi. DioGuardi will appear at the judges' table with Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson on the eighth season of the hit show, which premieres in January."
Because there aren't enough VH1 reality dating shows, the network recruited Ray J, who is mainly famous for starring in a sex tape with Kim Kardashian, to be its next bachelor. Um, we thought he was dating Whitney Houston, no? Not that it matters — this is all about as real as Santa Claus.
The producers are looking for desperate contestants who are "smart, attractive women over 21 who think they can handle the drama of celebrity life." Why would they need to handle celebrity life if they're just dating Ray J?
In what has rapidly become the worst idea ever, DMX announced he will star in his own reality show. DMX: This Life of Mine will follow the rapper as he reads to children, volunteers at the local animal shelter and redecorates his home. Just kidding, it's going to be all about his 582 arrests. DMX says he hopes people can see "what really goes on in my life." Uh, buddy? We've seen your six arrests in 2008 alone. What else could you possibly have been doing?
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "They say the only two things on earth that can survive a nucular blast are cockroaches and slop." — Michelle, Big Brother
We squealed a little when we first saw that the next Bachelor will be Jason Mesnick, the lovable 32-year-old single dad from Seattle who was rejected by whiny Bachelorette DeAnna Pappas last season. Jason was always adorable, but the one who really stole the show was his 3-year-old son, Ty. Which worries us, because the last thing Ty needs is to see his father on national television week after week, only to meet the finalists who will eventually be given the boot a few months after the show ends. If you want to try to find love on a reality show that has proven to be unsuccessful in the marriage department, be our guest — but the fact that a child is involved makes us feel a little uneasy.
The good news is this now frees up Jeremy and Graham for our very own Mollygood bachelor competition.
Thank goodness The Hills returned last night — Mondays simply weren't the same without Spencer Pratt and his creepy flesh-colored beard gracing our television sets. Apparently this season's Speidi storyline will revolve around Heidi's sister, Holly, because the couple has no other friends and needs a new punching bag. The manufactured drama isn't necessarily interesting in the least, but we are consistently entertained by Spence's ability to raise the bar every week with his d-bag abilities. In the scene at left, Spencer welcomes Holly into his home the only way he knows how: By forcing her to watch him play X-Box while he ignores her.
So in case you haven't heard, tonight is the season four premiere of MTV "reality" hit The Hills. Over the last three seasons it's become fairly obvious that there's rarely anything real about the show except for Spencer and Heidi's douchiness, so we've compiled our five favorite fake moments in the history of The Hills. Feel free to add your own if they didn't make the cut.
Too much time has passed since Heidi Montag's latest assault on music, and luckily for us the "singer" decided to release a new single just in time for tonight's season premiere of The Hills. The new song is called "Overdosin" and makes us want to follow the title's lead. Between this and that other travesty, "One More Drink," we're a little confused as to what Heidi is trying to tell us. We can only hope it involves some sort of death — and yes, we are aware that it's unfortunate how this famewhore has driven us to wishing that upon a person.
It's a good year to have a fake job. First, all those Bigfoot researchers are getting some airtime. Then Jon Stewart gets fingered as the most trusted man in news. And now "Outstanding Reality Host" is a category at this year's Emmys. Taking this nonsense a step further, the nominees won't just have their names read off a teleprompter — the five contestants nominees will group-host the primetime ceremony. But as we all know in reality show hosting, one day you're in, the next day, you're out. So who's going to show up for the opening of an envelope and hear her own name called?
Behold the glorious batch of contestants from the upcoming season of America's Next Top Model, which includes the highly-publicized transgender woman, Isis. After the jump: Check out the mug shots and place your bets on the winner. We included Tyra's photo because there's always the possibility that she will simply give up and crown herself the top model. CONTINUED »
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