• Brooke Hogan: The epitome of class. [Yeeeah]
• Charlize Theron tells guests in her home looking for the bathroom to "take a left at the Oscar." That's actually kind of awesome. [INO]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal looks … tired. [ICYDK]
• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are sad because they have a long-distance relationship. You know what else is sad? When people can't afford to fly to see their families. Man up, you two. [PS]
• Britney Spears' sad attempt to disguise herself from the paparazzi. [DListed]
• Not as adorable as Rupert, but this little puppy will have to do for now. [CityRag]
[Source]
Reese Witherspoon is not going to be happy: Rumor has it her boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal is about to get a new co-star by the name of Abie Cornish. This should sound familiar, because while Reese was married to Ryan Phillippe he starred in a movie with Abbie, which resulted in Reese and Ryan's divorce and Ryan and Abbie's current romantic relationship. Our head hurts.
Anyway, Jake and Abbie are being pegged to star in a new movie about a private expedition to the moon to create a Lunar colony, which won't be nearly as interesting as the drama that should be taking place off set. According to a source, "It could work out as long as Reese doesn't visit Jake on the set." Except it's never that easy.
[Source]
• Eva Mendes flashes everyone for half a second in her new Calvin Klein commercial. Predictably, the world is going nuts. (Slightly NSFW) [ICYDK]
• Terrible idea of the day: Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are planning to get married. Oh, and it's going to coincide with her album release, of course. [INO]
• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal will not be getting married this winter. Why anybody cares is beyond us. [PS]
• More proof of the end of days: Justin Timberlake might host the Oscars. [DListed]
• Balthazar Getty finally wised up and dumped Sienna Miller. [Yeeeah]
• Just what we've always wanted: A gallery of Chris Brown's tattoos. [CityRag]
• Big Brother already has its first racial slur, and the season just started two days ago. [DListed]
• Miley Cyrus seriously needs to just stop taking pictures of herself. [Yeeeah]
• Jay-Z's hotel request: "One giant watermelon was split in two and ornately carved into a mold of Beyonce's breasts. Two cherries were used as nipples." [INO]
• Who wants to see Britney Spears shooting a video in an elevator? [PS]
• Jake Gyllenhaal finds his Blackberry more interesting than Reese's kids. [PITNB]
• The end is nigh: Tyra Banks has been named the hardest working person in showbusiness. [ICYDK]
NEWS FROM TWO YEARS AGO "The divorce of Hollywood couple Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe was finalized today. The pair — who wed in June 1999 — split up in 2006, sparking rumors of an affair between Phillippe and his Stop-Loss co-star, Abbie Cornish."
• Clearly, we should not have made jokes about Latarian Milton, who was recently been institutionalized after attacking his grandmother. [DListed]
• Angelina Jolie has confirmed she's having twins, which the tabloids did months ago. It's time for celebrities to stop letting the tabloids they claim to hate so much be right. [PS]
• "Reese Witherspoon And Jake Gyllenhaal Are Ready To Wed." Guess what: You're not invited to the wedding, so don't care about it. [INO]
• Megan Fox was once so poor she was forced to have hairy legs. Oh, gawd! That's almost as bad as being so poor you can't eat food. [ICYDK]
• Lohan + Ronson + hickeys = speculation [CityRag]
• "Mariah Carey Has Baby Fever." Uh, no duh—why do think she likes Nick Cannon? Zuh-ing. [Yeeeah]
• Selfish prick Al Sharpton figures the best way to protest the acquittal of the three police officers who killed Sean Bell is by "shutting down" New York City, home to 8 million people with lives and issues of their own. Thanks, Al. [SH]
• "One actor asked the woman why she loves [Clay Aiken] so much, she answered the only way a crazed Claymate would answer, 'He is the Savior.'" [DListed]
• According to the gays, Ugly Betty is the best comedy on television. Blue Collar TV was robbed again! [PS]
• What does Elizabeth Hurley do? Is she a model? Is she a zombie? [HT]
• James Bwunt huwt his wittew fingew! [INO]
• The Iceman is melting. (We don't know how we do it. It just comes to us.) [ICYDK]
• Heather Locklear was caught momentarily making an unattractive face. Now everyone's making fun of her. Being famous sure is awesome, huh? [Yeeeah]
• Reese Witherspoon has cut out her plastic bag consumption, which is nice of her. [CityRag]
• Brother blog Queerty has a huge story about the inner tumult of the DNC and it's booming leader, Howard Dean. Check it out, voters. [Queerty]
• ""I like boys — a lot. I'm boy crazy." -Cameron Diaz, who is 35 [PS]
• Mariah Carey in so much pink. Who still buys her records? If it's you, please explain why in the comments. [HT]
• Because she's unemployable, Lindsay Lohan has taken to just dying her hair from brown to blond to red all day long. [INO]
• Reese Witherspoon volunteered some time in New Orleans yesterday. No jokes about that. [ICYDK]
• Lara Flynn Boyle: A sad reminder of what Jack Nicholson leaves in his wake. [Yeeeah]
• Can you tell apart the real person from their wax statue? Of course you can! It's easy, but people on the Internet like to pretend it's not to be mean. Play along! [CityRag]
Ryan Phillippe popped over to Ellen this morning for a good old chat. The handsome and somewhat hapless actor, whose movie Stop Loss coincidentally opens this weekend, gabbed about his high school fashion sense, getting into the business and, yes, playing gay on One Life To Live, which cast him as the first openly homo teen in sudster history.
Ryan Phillipe and Channing Tatum were among those who attended the premiere of Stop-Loss last night in LA. The entire event seemed to be a parade of good-looking males, which is a clear indication of who will be flocking to see this movie: 17-year-old girls. After all, who needs a statement about the war when you can drool over the former Mr. Reese Witherspoon?
[Source]
TABLOIDIBAN "Iran has banned nine lifestyle and cinema magazines for publishing pictures of 'corrupt' foreign film stars and details about their 'decadent' private lives … The publications were banned by the press commission watchdog for 'publishing photographs of corrupt foreign artists and details about their decadent lives.' … The most significant magazines banned are Donya-ye Tasvir (World of the Image), Sobh-e Zendegi (Morning of Life), Talash (Effort) and Haft (Seven). … The latest issue of Donya-ye Tasvir carried articles about several Hollywood female stars including Naomi Watts, Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman, all accompanied by pictures."
Ryan Phillippe, formerly known as Mr. Reese Witherspoon, talked to W Magazine to clear up the rumors about his divorce and rumored affair with co-star Abbie Cornish:
Things are never as simple as it’s made out to be in the tabloid press. It was unfair for [Abbie] to be called the names that she was, because it wasn’t about that. I don’t think an outside person can ever cause a divorce. I had difficulties in my relationship, and in my marriage, long before I ever met her.
She and I are close friends, and as far as if there is any future, that is not where we are at now. That is what other people like to say or like to assume. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a friendship, and we are getting to know each other in a really difficult situation.
This is all just a nice way of saying, "I'm a cheating bastard."
[Source]
• Look! He can jam on bass! What a guy. Let's hope none of those "sinful" gays shook their evil hips to the rhythm. [Jossip]
• Reese Witherspoon doesn't want to simulate sex with Vince Vaughn. The guy is so money, baby, and she doesn't even know it. [DListed]
• What is it that Adam Brody does? Is The OC in syndication? [PS]
• Billy Zane is a regular beach bum, or maybe he's just parading around a trophy wife? Hmmmmmmm. [HT]
• Hey, Ty Pennington, where's your tool belt and teary minions? [INO]
• Scarlett Johansson likes black guys! [ICYDK]
• Kanye West and Beyonce play a slightly harder version of Tic-Tac-Toe. Kanye loses nine times in a row! [CityRag]
Jake Gyllenhaal's romantic Roman getaway with Reese Witherspoon does a lot to put the kibosh on rumors of his homosexuality, but it does little in the way of squelching presumptions that he chooses awful mates:
[Witherspoon] told Elle magazine last month: “[My dad and uncle] taught me that in every relationship, the person least interested in maintaining it is going to dominate it, because they'll never compromise.
"So you have to always maintain that position of least interest, and you'll always control the relationship."
Wow, you know what, maybe Jake and I are both gay time travelers, because it sounds like he's dating me in college.
Children with potbellies that look like miniature men are the most fun to have around. With them, you get to pretend you're with your buddy the drunk who slurs big words and loves you so much, but you also get to avoid the awkwardness that comes when that buddy asks you why he "can't get laid anymore."
Plenty more after the jump.
CONTINUED »
Yikes! When your daughter looks exactly like the woman who divorced you for cheating, does it make it hard to look at her and not think she's hating you? I imagine it would be like hanging out with the twin brother of a guy who kicked your ass.
CONTINUED »
You'd think an Oscar winner would know that yelling at these guys is absolutely useless. It's like yelling at goldfish. Unless you're going to physically attack them in a Penn-esque temper tantrum, they're going to keep snapping away, and all you can look forward to is a car full of scared kids and a bunch of bad pictures of yourself.
[Source]
Here's a flimsy scoop from TMZ:
A TMZ spy spotted Jake and Reese last Friday night driving together on the 101 Freeway in L.A. Coincidentally, it's almost exactly where Brandy got into that fatal car crash, but Reese and Jake had a much better result.
The spy saw the pair laughing it up in Jake's new X5. She was eating yogurt as they drove into the sunset. These guys are together.
"These guys are together," huh? In what culture does eating yogurt in a car with someone constitute dating? Is that Scientology? I feel out of the loop.
Editor
