• Another adorable animal bites the dust. Life isn't fair. [DListed]
• Demi Lovato, one of the newest little Disney stars, fell on stage during a performance. The good news is people are going to know her name for a couple days. [Yeeeah]
• The Hills' Whitney Port and her new boyfriend need to work on coordinating their outfits a little more successfully. [INO]
• All these photos of Britney Spears shopping in LA remind us of the Sam Lutfi days, and those aren't good memories. [PS]
• Aubrey O'Day is offended that people compare her to Paris Hilton. Paris agrees. [ICYDK]
• Hayden Panettiere shouldn't look this weird in a bikini. [HT]
Five days, people, and the long-awaited, understandably mocked Lynne Spears memoir, Through the Storm, will be upon us.
The cover photo finds Spears, deliverer of Britney and Jamie Lynn, staring pensively out of a window, thinking on some unknown turbulence, surely considering how her daughters' money will help her carry on. And the tome's content is just as ridiculous.
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NO MORE PISSING ON GRAVES "[Britney Spears'] court-appointed attorney, Samuel D. Ingham III, told the Associated Press that he will not seek to extend the restraining order in court on Thursday — because Spears has cut all ties with [Sam] Lutfi anyway. 'Britney has made clear to everyone,' Ingham said, 'that she does not want to be further harassed or contacted in any way by Osama 'Sam' Lutfi, now or at anytime in the future.'"
Now that Megan Fox is single, you can be sure there are plenty of lonely men lining up at her door to have intelligent discussions about politics and global warming. Sadly, however, she is sure to be off the market in the very near future — a break-up isn't a break-up without some sort of rebound relationship, and we've got the perfect rundown of Hollywood men for Megan to consider.
Unsuccessful in their attempts to garner public sympathy via MySpace and Larry King Live, the Hogans are now making public threatening messages that the family believes are from Frank Graziano, the brother of the man left in a vegetative state after getting in the car with Nick.
Sure, the messages are cause for concern, but they were played on the radio this morning by host Bubba the Love Sponge, who just so happens to be a close Hogan family friend. This is obviously more of a publicity issue than it is about safety.
Also? We can guarantee the culprit isn't a member of the Graziano clan. The mystery man threatened to piss on the family's grave — it's obviously Sam Lutfi. Case closed.
[Source]
We'll be the first to admit that Britney Spears has shown great strides in progress since her father kicked Sam Lutfi and Adnan Ghalib out of her life, but would it kill Jamie to hire a full-time stylist for his daughter? It's hard not to feel the urge to shower after looking at pictures of her. Also, someone needs to tell Brit that sucking in her cheeks does not make her look any skinnier or saner.
[Source]
You can be sure it's a huge day in the TMZ newsroom: Britney and K-Fed are back in court today for their child custody hearing. And Brit even showed up, looking like she had bathed and put some effort into her clothing (no grease stains!). It's a huge turnaround after the last time she attempted to go to court with Sam Lutfi and Adnan Ghalib in tow; one thing that hasn't changed, however, is good ol' TMZ, who is streaming live outside the courthouse. It's fascinating, if you like staring at a horde of desperate photographers and random cars.
SAM WHO? "Sam Lutfi says he is on Britney Spears' side as he fights against an extension of a restraining order from her family. 'Sam and the family are communicating and cooperating trying to do whats best for Britney,' Lutfi's spokesman said in a statement. … Lutfi agreed to stay away from the singer through July."
Does anyone remember Larry Rudolph? He is the manager responsible for the Britney Spears America fell in love with, and he also played a role in her 2007 trip to rehab. Brit, of course, shunned him — twice — because why trust a guy you've known for years when Sam Lutfi is around, alerting the paparazzi to your every move and pissing on your mother's grave?
Here's the good news: Jamie Spears has convinced Larry to give Brit another chance and take her under his wing. We're not sure what Larry's asking price was, but we'll even pitch in a few bucks if he can turn the former Mrs. Federline back into America's favorite Catholic schoolgirl. Because let's face it: Nobody really cares if Britney's mentally stable so long as she gets back to being the picture-perfect pop star of yesteryear.
Here's hoping the third time's a charm.
[Source]
WHAT'S IN IT FOR HIM? Sam Lutfi has agreed to extend the restraining order keeping him away from Britney Spears for another 30 days. "Sources tell TMZ there was a meeting between Lutfi and the conservators last week. Lutfi had been locked and loaded to fight any extension — so it appears something that happened during that meeting changed his mind. We're told Lutfi believes the restraining order extension is a good thing for both him and Brit."
Despite his latest restraining order (that makes four), Sam Lutfi refuses to go away. This time he's insisting that Britney Spears wants him back in her life and her father, Jamie Spears, is a bad influence. Because anyone with eyes can see that.
A hearing to overturn the restraining order is scheduled for March 17, where Sam will claim Britney fears her life is being taken over.
Sam told a friend, "I am going to call Britney to the stand so she can tell the world how I was helping her. I am innocent. I am Britney's friend and would never hurt her."
And how is Sam so confident that Britney will do this for him? He's secretly contacted her through a third party. Naturally.
Another source insists that Britney is "fit enough to make her own decisions but is overruled by her father." Uh, no. We saw what happened when Britney was fit enough to make her own decisions. We were treated to the pink wig and ripped fishnets.
[Source]
Danny Noriega, the sassy American Idol contestant who looks like Jessica Alba's long lost brother, has a Christmas greeting for everyone. He hopes Santa Claus rapes your mother.
Sounds like someone's been hanging out with Sam Lutfi.
ABOVE THE LAW "Sam Lutfi has finally been served with a restraining order from [Britney's] parents — sorta. The restraining order had to be served by yesterday at 1:30 p.m. to be valid. We're told that since it wasn't served until today, it may not be valid! That means they may have to serve him again with updated paperwork."
Happy anniversary, everyone! Wait … you don't remember? A year ago today, Britney Spears shaved her head and proved to everyone her issues ran a little deeper than we previously thought. Her hair is still in recovery, but we have high hopes for the next year in the life of Brit (seen here enjoying a relatively normal day of shopping).
Those good feelings come from news that Sam Lutfi is being investigated by the LAPD for drugging Britney — and it's about time.
Law enforcement sources tell us the Major Crimes Division of the LAPD is on the case. The conservators have complained that Lutfi drugged Spears as a way of keeping her under his control. We're told the investigation is very much active.
Sam reportedly had no comment, but he exclusively told us that he can't wait to piss on the graves of every LA cop. OK, we made that last part up. Maybe.
[Source]
Friday was the anniversary of Anna Nicole Smith's death, and her hangers-on are still finding ways to sell her out. It's like looking into the future, except instead of Larry Birkhead it's Kevin Federline, and instead of Howard K. Stern it's Sam Lutfi.
Anna's former bodyguard, Big Moe, is the latest to give his story and share new "shocking" details, like the fact that Larry Birkhead is probably gay. Duh.
'Because of how Larry looked, she figured, oh my child would look great,' Big Moe told Access Hollywood's Tony Potts. 'Blonde hair, blue eyes, you know, "Go great with me and my baby will come out beautiful."'
'So basically, from what she told you and what you’re telling me is that Anna looked at Larry as a sperm donor to get a really beautiful child?' Tony asked.
'That's it,' Big Moe said.
Big Moe also claims Anna told him that due to his 'lifestyle' there would be no strings attached.
'What's his lifestyle?' Tony asked.
'Well, she told me that, you know, he was a homosexual,' Big Moe said. 'She knew deep down that he didn't want to be with her.'
Look, we're not doubting that Larry plays for the other team, but just because a guy didn't want to touch Anna Nicole with a 10-foot pole doesn't mean he's gay.
[Source]
Britney Spears' family has done an impressive job so far of keeping her away from the likes of Sam Lutfi and Adnan Ghalib. They've also succeeded at coming across as sympathetic in the media, although we might argue that they haven't exactly been world-class parents in the past.
And now they're reverting back to milking the cash cow:
The buzz at the Grammys was that Spears' newfound focus on her dancing is preparation for a world tour. Britney 'will be leaving the country in the next few weeks,' a source confided to Page Six. 'She'll train in privacy for a month, then go on a global tour.'
Yes, fabulous. Because what better way to cure Brit than to put her back in the environment that ruined her in the first place?
[Source]
All the Britney Spears news so far today seems positive. We would proclaim this a miracle, but the day is far from over.
First off, she has a new bodyguard who seems semi-effective. The ex-Israeli Army soldier, hired by Jamie and Lynn Spears, was once employed by Lindsay Lohan. Apparently this new guy has a reputation among the paps for being ruthless and keeping his clients safe "at all costs." Here's hoping he can handle Sam Lutfi.
Other good news: She's getting rid of that awful weave. Brit called up a celebrity hairstylist to help her achieve a "longer and sexy" hairstyle. The stylist informed her to put the wigs away: "This is crazy. You don't want to be crazy." We like this guy already.
Meanwhile, there are rumors that the LAPD may press charges against Sam "Piss On Your Grave" Lutfi because of his claims he drugged and manipulated Brit. Sounds like a great idea, so you can be sure that probably won't be happening.
[Source]
Britney Spears' enabler and famed grave-pisser Sam Lutfi has admitted to Us magazine that, on the night of her most recent committal, he fed the pop star a "handfull of pills."
"I said these pills are working wonders, they are miracle pills," he recalls. Spears, Lutfi says, agreed that the meds were helping her sleep.
Handfulls of pills don't help you sleep; handfulls of pills help you pass out.
Editor
