Britney Spears showed up to the Generation Rescue event hosted by Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy to make her first red carpet appearance since having her meltdown back in January. We have to hand it to her — she looks semi-decent and appears to have bathed and put a little thought into her outfit. The hair still needs some help, but Ken Paves will work his magic in due time. He is only one man, after all.

NOW HE’S FREE FOR MATT DAMON “Late night host Jimmy Kimmel and comic Sarah Silverman have called it quits after five years of dating, reps for the couple confirm to Usmagazine.com. The break up was mutual, a source says.”

Scarlett Johansson wasted no time in debuting her engagement ring from fiancé Ryan Reynolds at last night’s Costume Institute Gala at NYC’s Metropolitan Museum of Art. Pretty much every celebrity you can imagine was in attendance (except for Reynolds), and 95 percent of the wardrobe choices made our heart cry.

Click through for more pictures than you could have ever asked for.

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SILVERMAN WILL BE CRUSHED “Matt Damon’s family is expanding: The actor and wife Luciana are expecting another baby, his rep Jennifer Allen tells People. ‘They couldn’t be happier,’ says Allen. ‘They’re so excited!’”

The photo spreads are in from Vanity Fair’s article about funny women. We don’t care enough to read the entire piece, because we already know what it says.

The pictures do plenty of talking: Some of today’s most popular female comedians — including Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Sarah Silverman, Chelsea Handler, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig and Jenna Fischer — are featured in ground-breaking photos … dressed up as celebrities. Clever.

Last year, when I mentioned on this site Christopher Hitchens‘ Vanity Fair article “Why Women Aren’t Funny,” the backlash was great, in many senses of that word. “YOU ARE AN IDIOT, CORD,” a commenter calling herself A FUNNY WOMAN wrote to me. As it turns out, women don’t take kindly to men saying they can’t do things well, nor do they like men mentioning men that say women can’t do things well.

Such feminine rage was probably the impetus for Vanity Fair’s latest cover story, “Who Says Women Aren’t Funny?” Penned by drab New York Times television critic Alessandra Stanley, the rebuttal piece gets by with a little help from top comediennes like Tina Fey, Kristen Wiig and Wanda Sykes. And it could have been great, had it not included passages like this:

It used to be that women were not funny. Then they couldn’t be funny if they were pretty. Now a female comedian has to be pretty—even sexy—to get a laugh.

At least, that’s one way to view the trajectory from Phyllis Diller and Carol Burnett to Tina Fey.

Hey now! Isn’t tacitly calling Phyllis Diller and Carol Burnett uglier than Tina Fey the same hierarchical bullshit chauvinists pull? Is this supposed to be a joke, lady?

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The Matt Damon-Jimmy Kimmel feud reaches new levels with the above video. Produced by Kimmel in response to girlfriend Sarah Silverman’s “Fucking Matt Damon” song, this clip turns the tables, and with a whole lot of celebrity cameos.

Last night Sarah Silverman appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live and told Kimmel, her boyfriend of five years, that she was cheating on him with his archenemy, Matt Damon. Who knew? And who knew Matt Damon was funny?

Duly upset copywriter Copyranter shared with us this hoaxish find: A “leaked” Sarah Silverman song called “Happy AIDS Day, Anyway,” which was supposedly part of Gap’s (Product) Red campaign before being shelved. Maybe someone who wanted to not get fired thought better of releasing lyrics like this:

I’m not black
I’m not gay
And Africa is so far away
But what’s one more December holiday?
Happy AIDS Day anyway

Yikes! And if that didn’t get your toes tapping, there’s more:

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Don’t be alarmed: She’s smart, funny and successful, and she doesn’t give a shit what you think about her pants. This means she is what is called “perfect,” not “shiteous” or “lazy.” Got it, Victoria?

More under here.

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• To fully appreciate the video above, you need to start with this. Then you will grasp the genius. [BWE]

• Bruce Willis says during his darkest days he turned to Will Smith for guidance, meaning that, sometimes, life really does imitate The Legend of Bagger Vance. Thank God. [DListed]

• Sienna and Keira: So happy together. [DS]

• Damn her awareness and self-respect! [HT]

• Cisco Adler’s genitalia gets a resurgence in popularity thanks to Sarah Silverman. [CityRag]

• Do your worst, copper. No mortal man’s prison can hold The Hoff when he’s on a whiskey bender. [Yeeeah]

• Sarah Michelle Gellar still does stuff? [ICYDK]

Maybe not everything at the MTV Movie Awards sucked, because Sarah Silverman insinuating that it’s impossible for Paris Hilton to keep her mouth off of anything even slightly resembling a penis was pretty great. As was the fact that the crowd went absolutely wild. For some reason, Paris wasn’t laughing.

Last evening, everyone from Samuel L Jackson to Dane Cook (yeesh) turned out for the annual MTV Movie Awards, that glorious time of year when the network transforms itself from being simply a constant commercial for bad pop culture into a vastly more obvious constant commercial for bad pop culture.

Highlights of the evening included very high-minded comedy like a fat guy chasing Sarah Silverman (brilliant!) to Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen kissing (I mean, men kissing—can you believe it?).

The most inexplicable photo grouping of the night must be Chris Tucker, Victoria Beckham and Bruce Willis, whose mere proximity to one another must have led to a completely unnecessary picture. I guess it’s up to you to name the star, the has-been and the never-was.

PS Megan Fox, the awe-inducing beauty from Transformers, will be the new “it” girl. I’m calling “it.”

There’s a lot more pictures after this jump.

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Well, the comments following the Sarah Silverman post were the most vitriolic I’ve ever gotten. Perhaps the intention was to fight fire with fire, I’m not sure. But, I do now know that people with ovaries can strike fear into my heart as well as any man I’ve ever confronted.

Under that Sarah Silverman video is a link to an interesting and provocative Vanity Fair article I read called “Why Women Aren’t Funny”. It’s absolutely controversial, but interesting nonetheless. That said, I also made sure to state that I was “ambivalent” about the whole issue, noting that there are instances when I can understand both sides of the argument.

So why all the rabid responses? I’ve read and reread that post and I think the only thing I would do differently would be to change “something with ovaries” to “someone with ovaries,” which I have. I’m honestly sorry about using that phrase. But, aside from that, I’m not really sure what else I’ve written there that’s so offensive.

In my very first post, the last thing I said was “I won’t lie to you.” Thus, I won’t backpedal and say that I apologize profusely and I really regret what I said in order to ingratiate myself and save my own ass. What I will say is, before you call me a woman hating misogynist, please take into consideration that I’m the same person who wrote this,this , this and this.

Nobody told me I had to write this response. Sorry for the divergence from gossip/pop culture news.

Best,

Cord

Ever heard from someone that women aren’t funny? Do you agree? I’m pretty ambivalent about the whole argument. Like, I think 30 Rock, which Tina Fey writes, is hilarious. But, when I watch it, I realize that I’m mainly laughing at all the male characters.

I’m thinking maybe Sarah Silverman might finally make me wholeheartedly believe women can be funny. Her new show premieres tonight on Comedy Central. Don’t watch it if you don’t like crude stuff. But, if you do, you’ll probably enjoy it, and be surprised to find that you’re laughing at someone with ovaries.

Above is a little taste of her comedy. Be sure to look out for the line, “When you clear your throat is it really disgusting? Does it go on for hours and miles?”