Who’s the latest celebrity to hop on the Obama train?

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Remember when, like a freshman crushing on the senior star quarterback, Scarlett Johansson went around telling everyone who would listen that she and very important person Barack Obama had a blossoming e-mail relationship? In deference to those who don’t recall, a couple weeks ago, the curvy Tom Waits impersonator told reporters she was “amazed” that Obama always found time to reply to her messages, which presumably went something like, “You’re the best!!! And smart! Sometimes I’m embarrassed to be blonde. Did you know I’m from New York, the birthplace of Harlem? That’s one of the reasons I can sympathize with your black bros and hos. Love you! Peace.”

But, oh, how humiliating: Barry says Scarlett’s lying!

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WOODY MODEST ABOUT THREESOME “Woody Allen has denied rumours of racy sex scenes between Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson in upcoming movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Johansson and Cruz appear in a steamy scene together as well as taking part in a threesome with Spanish actor Javier Bardem, according to reports. The director admits that the film does feature a lesbian clinch - but ‘not in the sense that they’re (the press) suggesting.’ … ‘There are sex scenes between all the characters in the movie: between the men and the women, and the women and the women. That is accurate, but I’d say there’s probably not even 20 seconds of sex in the whole picture.’”

Ryan Reynolds is in Manhattan to film The Proposal with Sandra Bullock, so here are some pictures from the set to inspire all of our loyal NYC readers to track him down and steal him from Scarlett Johansson. Happy hunting!

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File this under: Not believable in the least. The National Enquirer is reporting that Ryan Reynolds has jealous tendencies and may be ruining his relationship with fiance Scarlett Johansson in the process.

He almost drove Scarlett away. Now that she is marrying him, she told him in no uncertain terms to quit being jealous — after all, he’s the one who is shattering many men’s dreams of getting sexy Scarlett down the aisle. But it drives him crazy when other guys flirt with her.

The 23-year-old Lost in Translation actress just finished working on a movie with hot actors Orlando Bloom and Ethan Hawke in New York City — and sources say Ryan, 31, was terrified she was going to fall for one of the hunks.

Normally we would excuse a man for being jealous of the likes of Orlando and Ethan, but Ryan Reynolds? Not acceptable. But let’s look at the silver lining, shall we? Reynolds may soon be back on the market.

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During a recent concert at NYC’s Cutting Room, Alanis Morissette spoke to the audience about how she’s not in the least bit bothered by ex-fiance Ryan Reynolds‘ new engagement to Scarlett Johansson:

Every time I go through something difficult, I think, this is the mother lode. I’m not going to get through this one. And then six months later I’m like, what’s his name again?

Yeah, because that doesn’t sound bitter at all.

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Because we’re haters who don’t like anything but gloom and bitter coffee, we’re still kind of WTF? about Scarlett Johansson’s cover album, Anywhere I Lay My Head, composed almost entirely of Tom Waits songs. Some people disagree with us, but that’s cool, because we know they’re wrong.

Decide for yourself with this video for Anywhere’s first single, “Falling Down.” After watching the teeny movie in its entirety (keeping an eye out for the famous author cameo), then compare it to the Tom Waits version here. Then try to fully comprehend just how little soul the cover has.

The mediocre but meteorically successful band Fall Out Boy — for whom Pete Wentz plays bass and flat-irons his bangs — has covered and subsequently tainted the Michael Jackson-Quincy Jones classic “Beat It.” If you’re a true MJ fan, it’s a disaster. And not only is the music awful, FOB’s video pales in comparison to the dazzling productions Jackson used to create. Click through to be disappointed.

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WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE? “Scarlett Johansson has lambasted critics who like to label her a ‘harlot’ just because her appearance fits the stereotype. The blonde bombshell, who has been likened to late screen siren Marilyn Monroe, thinks the fact she is curvy and has platinum locks lays her open to harsh criticism regarding her sexual morals. … She says: ‘I have platinum blonde hair, and I’m extremely curvy: I pour myself into a dress and show up and strut my stuff at premieres. Of course I expect people will have certain ideas but it’s weird if people associate the fact that I sell handbags or wear a bikini with who I am when I wake up in the morning. People think I’m going to be some brazen harlot, but I’m not out there with every Tom, Dick and Harry or catching hepatitis.’”

This today from Vulture, New York magazine’s culture and entertainment blog, under the headline, “Confirmed: Scarlett Johansson Makes Best-Ever Album by an Actor”:

We’ve finally heard her forthcoming album of Tom Waits covers for ourselves, and it’s official: Scarlett Johansson just gave us a Woody Allen. (And by the way, can’t you just hear the little man saying schwing?) The disc, Anywhere I Lay My Head, is good.

How incorrect they are! We heard Anywhere several weeks ago, and not only is it unworthy of the breathless copy above, it’s patently ridiculous to suggest that this cover album is the best musical recording ever to come from an actor.

Everyone knows the best music ever made by a thespian is, of course, Jane Birkin’s work with her notorious French lover, Serge Gainsbourg. Of particular greatness is the couple’s song “Je T’aime… Moi Non Plus,” a racy ballad kissed with lyrics like “I come and I go, in between your hips.” Closely following their work is comedian Eddie Murphy’s “Party All the Time,” that coke-fueled rager helmed by the late super freak Rick James. We’ve included both videos after the jump. Enjoy. And feel free to take to the comments to nominate any actors-cum-singers you feel deserve the title of “Best Ever.”

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Good news for females around the world: Ryan Reynolds is reportedly going through a rough patch with girlfriend Scarlett Johansson, complete with a recent public spat in Boston.

‘The Ryan guy was clearly being a baby,’ said [a] spy. ‘She kept grabbing his arm and he’d yank it away and she’d keep saying “Ry, come on, Ry. Stop.”

‘He kept switching directions on the sidewalk like he wanted her to leave, responding over and over, “Roger that!” — whatever that was supposed to mean.’

The hostilities ceased when the couple noticed that there was a photographer trailing them.

We’ll give the spy a pass for calling Reynolds “the Ryan guy,” because if this is true, the object of Mollygood readers’ affection may soon be single.

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Here’s the artwork for Scarlett Johansson’s new album, Anywhere I Lay My Head. No Ryan Reynolds in sight. Discuss.

• This is the prostitute for whom Eliot Spitzer pissed away his life. She’s 22, from New Jersey (no duh!) and a budding singer. Oh, yeah, she’s also willing to have sex with unattractive but powerful men for money. Friend her on MySpace! [NYT]

• Rosie O’Donnell’s partner currently looks like Susan Powter used to look. Yes, compliment. [DListed]

• It wasn’t that cold yesterday. [PS]

• “Want To Know How Much Angelina Jolie’s Outfit Costs?” Huh? Do ya? Do ya? [INO]

• As a child, Julie Andrews was molested by her stepfather, but she still kept his surname. Sick all around. [ICYDK]

• More of the same from Carmen Electra. Honestly, she needs to give it up. Everything. Just stay at home and relax. Enough with the modeling. [HT]

• Why do celebrities get such bad tattoos? [CityRag]

We love when Scientologists leave the religion and then spill their guts to the media. This time Marc Headley, who used to produce promotional films for Scientology, is confirming one of the rumors surrounding Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes: Tom auditioned Katie to be his girlfriend.

Following Tom’s split from Penelope Cruz in 2004, the megastar told his BFF (and head of Scientology) David Miscavige that he was having trouble meeting women. So the church sent out a casting call that said, ‘There’s an upcoming Tom Cruise movie you might get a part in. Come for an audition.’ There were of course restrictions: You had to be single, pretty and in your twenties.

Tom rejected original suggestions Erika Christensen and Sofia Milos (who are Scientologists) in favor of Jennifer Garner, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba (in that order). Reportedly Jen and Jess didn’t take the bait, but Scarlett came in for an audition. Once she realized she was at the Scientology Center in Hollywood, she got scared and bailed. Smart girl.

But Katie Holmes popped into the Scientologist’s minds because she had previously spoken out about her crush on Tom. ‘They got her to L.A. and introduced her to Tom. The moment he meets her, he’s enthralled with her and he told Miscavige later, ‘I knew immediately she was the one.”‘

You hear that? That’s the sound of Jennifer, Scarlett and Jessica breathing a huge sigh of relief.

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Men (and women?) around the world will get a chance to bid on a date with Scarlett Johansson. The auction, which begins on eBay tomorrow, will raise money for the charity OxFam.

The winner will accompany Scarlett to the red carpet premiere of her new film He’s Just Not That Into You. The winner will also come across looking like a desperate tool who has to pay for dates.

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