There was definite funny business going on last night at some video game launch party in Hollywood: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag showed up, along with her sister Holly and Lauren Conrad's ex Doug Reinhardt. This is mildly scandalous because, upon breaking up with Lauren, Doug went out on a date with Spencer's sister Stephanie (which went over like a lead balloon when Lauren found out). Little Dougy seems to fit right in with the Hills cast and their high school drama, but someone forgot to tell Holly that it's all fake:

Yeah, we came together. We are just, you know, hanging out.

Translation: OMG do you think he likes me?!?! He's soooo cute!! I'm going to act coy but OMG YOU GUYS I totally think we're going to get married!

Unfortunately, Doug quickly shot down her hopes:

There are no romantic sparks. She is a great girl.

Translation: I am repulsed by her but would like more screen time on upcoming episodes of The Hills. Also, I'm available for autographs after the event.

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Last night's episode of The Hills was educational once again thanks to Professor Spencer Pratt, who utilized his few minutes on America's television screens to show men how to romance the ladies. First, take your woman to a fancy restaurant and start off the conversation with a discussion of your enemy (bonus points if said "enemy" is the result of a childish one-sided feud). Then threaten your girlfriend if she attempts to mingle with an acquaintance who is not of your liking. For the grand finale, take a peek at your watch and utter the affectionate words every woman wants to hear, whether or not she's finished with her dinner: "Time to get in bed and cuddle, my dear." Because if there's one thing women enjoy, it's being told what to do.

Spencer Pratt entertained us yet again on last night's episode of The Hills with a thought-provoking speech on foreign relations and family values. Frustrated that his sister, Stephanie, is still "rolling around with LC," Spence declared that he wished he could make her his un-sister and then shot down Steph's hopes that one day everyone would just be civil: "It's like trying to tell Iran and Israel to get along. Its not gonna happen." … We're not even going to touch that statement.

Despite a recent photo shoot gone wrong, Hills frenemies Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad stepped out and took a united stand in the name of alcohol last night at LA's Crown Bar.

Across town, Stephanie Pratt was blabbing to Us Weekly about the feud in which she is not involved, saying she doesn't think everything is OK between the two roommates: "But I'm sure they will work it out — they have been best friends for so long." Just like LC and Heidi, right?

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The MTV Movie Awards were held last night, and I admittedly couldn't bring myself to sit through the hours-long crapfest. Just by looking at the pictures (after the jump), it's obvious I didn't miss much.

Anyone care to share exciting stories from the show (if you decided to punish yourself last night)?

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The Hills cast celebrated hanger-on Frankie Delgado's birthday last night in Las Vegas, and the event's pictures speak a thousand words … kinda. Here's what we've gathered: Audrina is back with Justin Bobby (!!!), there's still tension between Audrina and the duo of LC/Lo, Brody is still stringing Lauren along, and Stephanie Pratt is taking full advantage of her fake fight with Speidi. Oh, and Lo is still awesome.

Did we leave anything out?

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Here's what I learned from last night's finale of The Hills: Nothing ever really happens on this show. Yes, it took me three seasons to figure that out. It finally clicked as I realized that the ending cliffhanger was part of last week's sneak peek. So, basically, the whole show was leading up to the moment we were waiting for (Lauren and Audrina's confrontation), but by the time this came to fruition, the credits were rolling. How cheap.

In other news, Heidi and Spencer were nowhere to be found during the finale party — thank goodness — and the rest of the Hills ladies wore outfits similar to what we see all the time. Yawn.

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