What's this? Britney Spears is gracing the cover of OK! for the second time in as many weeks?
Just last week the tabloid scored the first interview — paparazzi shouting questions at her doesn't count — with the pop star in a cooperative arrangement, and this week Ms. Spears is showing off her new body in a clear "I've totally turned my life around" cover story.
Remember when the gossip columns were filled with plants about Chace Crawford — the Gossip Girl star whose publicist wasn't pleased that he was being labeled a big 'mo — and his female relations?
Then rumors started that Crawford and co-star/roommate Ed Westwick shared more than just scripts?
Enter this obvious plotline:
Us magazine, which loves celebrities like Ike loved Tina, has a new photo gallery in which it lists its favorite religious stars. Go there to see a "pious" Mischa Barton exiting a Catholic church one week after she was arrested for DUI.
Stars: They're just like us, using religion as a crutch when life gets a little bit scary.
Reputable In Touch magazine ran a story this week claiming John Mayer hit on a woman other than Jennifer Aniston, which is neither shocking nor true, according to tattletale Us Weekly.
The other woman, 32-year-old Chaton Anderson, "tearfully told Usmagazine.com that the story 'is completely not true' and she's considering legal action against the magazine." Wow, our hearts really go out to this poor woman. It's almost like she didn't ask for all this media attention — except she's crying about it to another tabloid.
Anyway, Chaton says she told a friend who works for the magazine that "nothing happened" when she met Mayer "a long time ago" — yet suddenly a fabricated story appeared in this week's issue. In Touch? Making up stories? Nah.
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The birth of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s new twins — son Knox Leon and daughter Vivienne Marcheline — is not just the second coming of Jesus, but also the culmination of nine months (longer if you count the speculation period) of a gossip industry frenzy, where celebrity weeklies flew off the shelves with breathless reports about Brangelina’s coming spawn, tabloid entertainment shows drew ratings with each new “bump” report, and the gossip blogs recorded traffic spikes anytime they pasted their pages with Brangelina rants and raves. Everybody had an opinion. Everybody was a spectator. And everybody wanted in.
So now that Angelina finally gave birth, via C-section, in Nice, France, the matter of her pregnancy is all over with. And before we even get to figuring out which tabloid is spending the GDP of some small nations on scoring the first exclusive pictures of Knox and Vivienne (we suggest they split the two up, and sell each kid to separate magazines), there’s another matter to clear up.
You know what you get when you’re a celebrity and you sign an exclusive deal with a tabloid? Bad karma from the rest of the magazines.
Jamie Lynn Spears, who signed a $1 million exclusive deal with OK! for her pregnancy story and pics, is getting stabbed by Star with a dramatic cover story exclaiming, “Delivery Room Drama!” Since Spears is prohibited from playing ball with the other celeb weeklies, there’s only one thing Star can do: deliver one piece of bad news after another. If only Spears hadn’t signed with OK!, she could’ve scored some protection.
When staffers at UCLA's Medical Center were fired in March for snooping on Britney Spears' medical records, and then selling tidbits about the pop star, like details of her giving birth so Sean Preston in 2005, one teensy weensy other revelation floated to the surface: The practice was nothing new.
Plenty of other celebs had their privacy violated, including Maria Shriver, George Clooney, and Farah Fawcett.
Now, tapes of conversations between tabloid The Globe and a score of hospital employees, from 1992-93, show how editors there regularly paid off sources inside various hospitals' walls for dirt on Tom Cruise, Liz Taylor, Billy Crystal, Kelsey Grammer, Magic Johnson, Roseanne Barr, Al Pacino, Paula Abdul, Frank Zappa, and Vanna White. From plastic surgery procedures to eating disorder treatment, every tidbit was available for the right price.
Happy birthday to Shiloh Jolie-Pitt — may you have many more years full of tabloid covers and paparazzi stalkers.
'BABIES ARE THE NEW BLACK' "Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag will spend the summer staging a fake pregnancy, a new tabloid report claims. … 'This summer, Heidi plans to wear loose clothes and even strap on some padding around her waist to make it appear as if she’s about three months along. The plan is to get the baby rumor mill going so she can get photographed more. She and Spencer won’t confirm or deny the pregnancy so they can keep everyone guessing.'"
• Clearly, we should not have made jokes about Latarian Milton, who was recently been institutionalized after attacking his grandmother. [DListed]
• Angelina Jolie has confirmed she's having twins, which the tabloids did months ago. It's time for celebrities to stop letting the tabloids they claim to hate so much be right. [PS]
• "Reese Witherspoon And Jake Gyllenhaal Are Ready To Wed." Guess what: You're not invited to the wedding, so don't care about it. [INO]
• Megan Fox was once so poor she was forced to have hairy legs. Oh, gawd! That's almost as bad as being so poor you can't eat food. [ICYDK]
• Lohan + Ronson + hickeys = speculation [CityRag]
• "Mariah Carey Has Baby Fever." Uh, no duh—why do think she likes Nick Cannon? Zuh-ing. [Yeeeah]
• Somebody get the host of this show an Emmy! [DListed]
• A gossip magazine is reporting that Katie Holmes is sick and tired of gossip magazines reporting about her. [INO]
• Megan Fox is on the cover of Christopher Amueroso Presents Paw Print, posed with a real fox. Out of frame is the shark that she's jumped. Bye, Megan Fox. [HT]
• Orlando Brown, star of That's So Raven, has gone missing. [ICYDK]
• "Hot men who look like lesbians" [CityRag]
• George Clooney is tired, just like Leatherheads. Zing! [PS]
Look! Britney Spears' regular body is now thin enough that murderous, unfeeling tabloids consider it a "new bikini body," even though they probably still think she's crazy. What total bullshit.
Beautiful shotgun bride Ashlee Simpson may be a pop star, but she ain't no JLo. While it's being said that Jennifer Lopez commanded $6 million from People magazine in exchange for exclusive rights to the first pictures of her new twins, Simpson is finding it impossible to fetch even $100,000 for photo access to the baby brewing in her belly: "One magazine editor said the pictures would fetch '$60,000 maybe - but definitely not a million.'"
But wait, what baby? Simpson and Wentz said they're not having a baby. Are they lying? Are the magazine editors lying? Is everyone lying? Wow, fuck these people.
Despite all the media hoopla surrounding Beyonce and Jay-Z's wedding last Friday, the couple only appeared on the cover of one tabloid (Us Weekly). Naturally, the celebrity media are being labeled as "racist" because some assume "African-Americans don't sell covers."
Except Janet Jackson was on the cover of two of Us' best-selling issues. That kind of nips the whole controversy in the bud, no?
Here's why B and Jay only landed on one cover: Because there was nothing to report that celebrity blogs hadn't already covered. It was old news, and the couple remained so tight-lipped about the entire event that the mags had better things to investigate, like whether Britney is suffering a relapse.
Case closed.
Jennifer Aniston is starting her own production company, because she has nothing else to do besides be jealous of Brangelina (right, Star?). Jen's no stranger to the business — she and ex Brad Pitt owned Plan B films when they were married. She shares the new company with former Plan B employee Kristin Hahn, and the two decided to name it Echo. Jen explained why, but we fell asleep during her explanation.
We're drawn to stories about people finding their voice and finding their way because they help us as listeners and viewers do what we feel we're all trying to do, which is making sense of our lives through the stories of others. That's why we chose the name Echo, to echo back an idea, a challenge, something that resonates through all of us.
Good for you, Jen. Now come back when you've written that tell-all and had a Britney-style breakdown in reaction to the Brangelina twins.
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Frightening! Frightening! Frightening! The paydays for celebrity moms selling tabloids exclusive rights to photos of their new children have gotten so astronomical — photos of Angelina Jolie's rumored twins will earn the actress $10 million — insiders say having babies has become a go-to second line of income for famous women.
One magazine editor who asked to remain anonymous said, "It's at the point now where some stars might decide to have more kids just to collect the money from their photos."
Pregnant stars are now "treating this like a game," said National Enquirer Executive Editor Barry Levine.
"It's become big business now," Levine said. "It's outrageous, they've gotten very sophisticated. The rights are bought up now even before the celeb enters the hospital. They hire extra security so it's impossible to obtain a photo illegally."
Levine said stars now realize that having a child is "akin to getting a role in a movie."
Are you holding off on having more children because you're not sure you can afford it? Get famous, dummy! Then you'll have loads of both children and money, which are one and the same at this point.
Ashton Kutcher's new show, Pop Fiction, was created to turn the tables on the tabloids, but magazine editors aren't buying it. Apparently Life & Style stalkers staffers are so observant they can spot Ashton's shenanigans right away, so — unless Britney turns out to have been sane this whole time — the joke has fallen flat.
It's mostly a lot of D-listers we don't care about. [We] wouldn't cover anyone on that show — with the exception of Avril. This show won't go anywhere. No one is watching it.
In Hollywood, anytime anyone decides to be in on the joke and critique themselves, no one cares. It's not having the effect they thought it would. No one can sympathize with celebs. They're always in on it themselves, whether they're pulling the joke or not.
We're not surprised by this development, but nobody is believing that the mags don't care about anyone except Avril, seeing as how Paris and Eva have graced many a cover. Don't act like you're above them, tabs. No one's buying it.
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Jennifer Aniston has been keeping busy lately. In between being a desperate hag and ruining Kate and Owen's lovefest, Jen will be writing a tell-all about her life — including the demise of her marriage to Brad.
The former Friends star is allegedly penning a tome that will reveal the details of her split from Brad Pitt and his relationship with Angelina Jolie.
An insider reveals to British newspaper Daily Star, 'This book could ruin Angelina and Brad. Jen will prove that the pen really is mightier than the sword.'
Does Jen realize that the tabloids have already revealed the details behind the Brad-Angie-Jen love triangle? And Star's account was probably way more interesting.
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