This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I watch The View morning after morning in hopes of witnessing something amazing. Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the moron who gives Republicans everywhere a bad name, had a minor meltdown during the show's first segment today. She was so beyond help that not even Barbara Walters came to her rescue. The topic, of course, was the idiocy of Sarah Palin, which turned into another session of Elisabeth spouting off nonsensical remarks to defend her beloved McCain/Palin ticket. After Barbara correctly likened Palin's preparation for the debate to a high school student cramming for an exam, Elisabeth became extremely angry, which is when this happened (inciting a round of boos from the audience):
BW: We love you on the program. You are the counterpoint. But every single day you never ever say, 'Maybe there's another point.' So here's your chance. … Tell us now why you think that Sarah Palin would make a very good president.
EH: Well, since I've been studying for this pop quiz forever, I — tell me why Barack Obama is qualified. I mean, give me three tangible things he has done.
Glorious. Anyone who genuinely thinks this woman has a single intelligent thing to say that hasn't been programmed into her head via FOX News needs to go see a doctor, cause something's off.
Update: You must watch this clip, below. CONTINUED »
The always well-spoken and put-together Anne Hathaway stopped in to chat with David Letterman last night about her new movie, Rachel Getting Married, and — oh yeah — her con artist of an ex-boyfriend. Despite Dave's peppering tactics, Anne managed to make it through the interview with some humor and without sounding like too much of an ass. Sure, she gets a little sarcastic from time to time, but she actually speaks about the situation without the typical "no comment." Paris, are you taking notes?
A couple months back, Jason Bateman appeared on Countdown with Keith Olbermann and not-so-subtly plugged the idea for a movie version of his sort of recently canceled show, Arrested Development. Like 30 Rock, It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia, and all good things on TV right now, AD was a genius program that still managed to tank in the ratings despite a rabid cult following.
But while the rumor mill quickly churned all over the blogosphere (much of it Olbermann's fault, he's on top of the story like no other), Michael Cera broke everyone's heart by insinuating that he's done with playing George Michael, despite the fact that Cera owes his entire stardom to the awkwardness of that character. And even weirder, he keeps saying he knows nothing about any scripts in development, despite Jason Bateman's vocal promotions?
Whatever dude. We think that Cera made a huge mistake, and apparently so does the Internet Movie Database:
YOUTUBE CONTINUES DESTROYING TELEVISION "John McCain's snub of David Letterman last week may have deprived the 'Late Show' host of some needed star power last week, but it's given him a hit on the web. So far, video of Mr. Letterman's tirade against Mr. McCain, who bowed out the day of the telecast, has generated more than 3.5 million views on YouTube. One problem: CBS is barely making a dime from the clip. That's because the vast majority of the views — 3.2 million — are attributed to pirated versions of the 'Late Show,' according to tracking firm TubeMogul."
LIFE IS TOUGH FOR KIM KARDASHIAN "A distraught Kim Kardashian could not be consoled after being the surprise third casualty of Dancing with the Stars Tuesday night. … Once the cameras were off Kardashian rushed to the waiting arms of her family and immediately broke down into tears. Kardashian’s publicist followed the inconsolable bombshell around the press line with a box of Kleenex since, once the waterworks started, there was no stopping the outpouring of genuine emotion."
Can you believe we actually suffered through Paris Hilton's My New BFF last night? And — even crazier than that — we didn't feel the urge to stab ourselves in the eyes? We realized that once you sit through A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, you can sit through anything.
Anyway, the contestant who makes this show bearable is Onch, a jewelry designer from Hacienda Heights, Calif. Onch's favorite color is rainbow (seriously) and prefers the term "pomp" over "fabulous." Also? Onch is a male. Some of the contestants confused him for a girl at first, which was kind of awesome, but we don't even look at Onch as any specific gender. He's just kind of … there. It's weird. Onch wore a beautiful necklace last night made out of rainbow pretzels and was just magnificently entertaining throughout the entire hour of horrible television. We did some research, and it turns out this lovely being has already been in a feud with Chris Crocker, so you know he's just a tiny train wreck waiting to crash.
Onch, 1; the rest of those losers, 0.
This short clip, courtesy of FOX News, makes us laugh hysterically. The "fair and balanced" network interviewed a Pennsylvania diner full of people to see who was voting for Obama and who was voting for McCain in the upcoming presidential election. After a show of hands, the reporter declared it "a split." Although it totally wasn't. At all.
Paris Hilton, the original reality TV queen of bad music, released a new single on Ryan Seacrest's radio show, where bogus artists go to debut their latest travesties. The song, titled "My BFF," is basically another way to hawk her terrible new reality show, which we will be watching only for the good of Reality Bytes (and to warn our dear readers of the monstrosities we will surely face).
Interested in how terrible the new song is? You can listen here or just sample some of the genius lyrics:
Could you be the one I waaaaaant? (My best friend)
Could you be the one I neeeeeed? (My best friend)
All of my life, don't you know I've been waitiiiiiing (For a best friend)
Could you be the one I waaaaaant? (My best friend)
Yep, it's that bad.
[Source]
If anyone doesn't want to talk politics, I'm offering a different alternative: Let's discuss The Hills in depth, shall we? For the three of you who didn't run back to the Palin posts, let's proceed. Last night's episode was fairly awesome thanks to Darlene Montag, the woman who birthed and raised the nightmare we know as Heidi. Darlene suffered through a one-on-one lunch with devilish Spencer, who was a complete and total ass to her ("I don't get uncomfortable, my dear") and then cried real tears for her lost cause of a daughter, claiming that Spence is the biggest d-bag that ever lived.
Except, you know, it was all fake. First off, Darlene showed up in this episode to "surprise" Heidi for her birthday. Heidi's birthday is Sept. 15. Darlene claimed she hadn't seen Heidi in months and had no idea she was living with Spencer. Please. It's not like she hasn't DVR'd every episode of The Hills and cut out each cheesy tabloid spread featuring Speidi to tape to her refrigerator. Also? If Darlene just showed up two weeks ago, how does she explain this, the photo shoot she had with Speidi and Joe Francis in early August?
Methinks this desperate need for the MTV cameras' attention runs in the family.
For all five of our readers who follow Gossip Girl, Details magazine shot a beautiful cover of the show's leading men, along with an in-depth interview with each. To make a long story short: Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford totally love each other in a not-gay-bromance kind of way (maybe), Penn Badgley is kind of an ass and thinks he's better than you, and all the boys love Christian Bale. We knew we loved these guys for a reason.
But the part of the story that really pulls at our heartstrings is when Chace details how he has to overcome tough obstacles: "Perez Hilton says I have 'gayface.' So on top of everything else, I have to overcome gayface." Stay strong, Chace. You are a true inspiration to all Americans.
When I received my invitation to Gotham magazine's issue release party in honor of cover girl (and Gossip Girl) Leighton Meester, I squealed a bit: I've been addicted to the show since the first episode, and I simply adore Leighton's character, Blair Waldorf. But there's always been something about Meester that seems a bit off, and the party — held at NYC's Marquee — didn't do much to change my perception of her. CONTINUED »
The mere thought that Alaskan idiot Sarah Palin could very well be running our country in the near future is no longer funny — but Tina Fey's impression of the VP nominee is. The former SNL-er's shtick is so dead-on that we stopped laughing after a while because it's not even that exaggerated: This lady truly is absurd. Tina, you are the only one who can help us through this.
COLOR US SHOCKED "A longtime staff member on The View chatfest says, 'It's not as bad as during the Rosie [O'Donnell] era,' but the presidential election has GOP-er Elisabeth Hasselbeck 'really upset' with her liberal co-hosts Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar. I understand View creator Barbara Walters has called a 'cooling off' meeting to keep a lid on things."
TV AUDIENCES CONTINUE TO DWINDLE "Every season premiere Thursday night drew a lower rating than last fall, as returning favorites such as ABC's 'Grey's Anatomy,' CBS' 'Survivor' and NBC's 'The Office' tripped across the board. ABC firmly won the night, as expected. Its two-hour fifth season premiere of 'Grey's Anatomy' (18.5 million viewers, 7.4 national adults 18 to 49 rating and an 18 share) was the evening's highest-rated and most-watched show, with each half hour growing in the Nielsens. Yet 'Grey's' was down 17% from last fall’s one-hour opener. Lead-in 'Ugly Betty' (9.8 million, 3.3/9) slipped 15%, marking its lowest-rated debut to date."
I had admittedly been counting down the days until The Office premiered its fifth season, and last night's hour-long episode was certainly worth the wait. I don't want to give too much away for those who have yet to see the show, so I've listed my favorite moments after the jump — and you can add your own.
This whole feud between David Letterman and John McCain remained entertaining for the second day in a row after Dave found out even more damning evidence: Upon canceling his Late Show appearance Wednesday to rush to the aid of the dying economy, Johnny boy not only stopped off to visit with Katie Couric — he stayed in New York City until Thursday morning. Now there's a man in a hurry.
Letterman summed it up by admitting he felt like an ugly date: "I feel used. I feel cheap. I feel sullied. I feel cratered." John McCain has that effect on us, too, Dave.
BRUTAL, BITTER STRUGGLE OF AN ELECTION YIELDS GREAT COMEDY "The presidential campaign has been very, very good to 'Saturday Night Live.' 'SNL' has experienced a hefty bump in the Nielsen polls this election season, boasting a 50% gain over last season’s first two episodes. … Comedy Central’s 'The Daily Show' is coming off its most-watched week in history, averaging 1.9 million viewers last week — up 28% from last year. Of course, last year, the world hadn’t yet heard of Sarah Palin, and both Barack Obama and John McCain were considered longshots for their respective party nominations. A year later, the U.S. is in the midst of a presidential campaign that many have described as unusual and unexpected — in other words, perfect fodder for 'SNL' and 'The Daily Show,' not to mention Comedy Central’s 'The Colbert Report' and HBO’s 'Real Time With Bill Maher.'"
Why buy the cow when its way of life is so reliant upon you that it can't leave, despite the fact that you rob it blind? That's apparently the abusive husband-like thinking of the city of Los Angeles, which continues to watch shows formerly filmed in its borders – Ugly Betty, In Treatment – head east after failing to offer film and television productions tax breaks comparable to those of New York City.
LA has always sucked, but it's going to suck even more if visitors driving around and looking at it can't every 20 minutes go, "Hey, that's that building from that one movie." According to the numbers, that's happening quite frequently these days. The mayor's office estimates that in just five months since the city of New York enacted their massive tax breaks, city-based shoots have contributed $505 million more in spending than they did during the same time last year.
And New York's not the only city wising up to how profitable playing nice with the movie stars is:
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