THIS IS GOING TO BE SOOOOOOOO TRIPPY "Johnny Depp is to play the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton's new film, Alice in Wonderland. … This will be their seventh film together. The big-budget production is being financed by Disney, and will be shot in 3-D. Filming will start next year, with release slated for 2010."
• Rapey jerks aside, New York really is the best city in the whole world. [INO]
• Linday Lohan's competing against Johnny Depp for a film role. Who gets it? [DListed]
• Is it bad that we like the hotpants jumpsuit? [PS]
• Here's Paris Hilton being a spectacle for all the "Hahvahd" kids. [HT]
• Apparently Scientologists are very sensitive about people badmouthing their religion. Have you heard about these people? Scientologists? [ICYDK]
• The Playboy girls are at Mardi Gras, presumably to see what it's like when men masturbate to the real them, not just pictures of them. [CityRag]
• 50 Cent is going to interview Paris Hilton for some MySpace commercial disguised as journalism. Let's hope the notorious racist doesn't call him a nigger to his face. And if she does, let's hope he cares. [SH]
• Pretty sure Gwyneth Paltrow is seen here wearing what the kids call locs. Awesome! [DListed]
• Rachel Bilson's passport photo shoot finds her looking better than ever. At least she looks like a woman and not a victim. [HT]
• Go ahead and dress lie Catherine Zeta-Jones; just promise not to also be a calloused snake like her. [INO]
• Johnny Depp would like to be considered for the lead in Tim Burton's remake of Alice in Wonderland. Yes: Alice. Shark jumped. [ICYDK]
• New day, new Britney Spears diagnosis. [Yeeeah]
• She's finally given up, then? We thought she would never learn. [EBG]
• Margaret Cho won't cross the picket lines for BFF Ellen DeGeneres. Yay, principles! [Queerty]
SPOOKY BABY BORN The very pregnant, mildly disoriented Helena Bonham Carter has given birth to a healthy baby girl. Carter and husband Tim Burton aren't telling the media the baby's name. (Of course, the media probably shouldn't care.) In light of the couple's silence, TMZ went ahead and called the kid "Sweeny Tot." Good for them.
We were going to argue that this cover was too verbose, but then we realized nobody is going to pay attention to the words.
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day – using 17 syllables or less – you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku is stacia:
why couldn’t this be
the 2 cups girls swearing off
nudity instead?
A Two Girls One Cup reference! Our gag reflex has never been so tickled by poetry. Fantastic work.
New one under here.
CONTINUED »
One can't force the biggest movie star in the world to change his shoes, but: Where did he find that much mud in New York City? Is that imported French mud? If so, may we check it for truffles?
That kid's Halloweens are going to be so great your memories of pumpkin carving with dad will seem like child abuse.
Dressing up nicely for an event you could get away with attending in only a tricorne and a diaper is a very respectful gesture. That your fancy clothes are a touch big on you makes the effort also cute. This is the sartorial equivalent of baking cookies for your mother and slightly burning them.
After the jump, many more from the Venice Film Festival.
CONTINUED »
Either Keira Knightley or a wan, gaunt Tim Burton character made an appearance today at a press conference staged to promote the film Atonement. We'll notify you as soon as the haunting figure's identity is revealed.
Several more under here.
CONTINUED »
Warner Brothers executives have asked Tim Burton to tone down the blood and gore in his production of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, fearful that the movie's current violent cut will earn it an R rating.
"Tim’s not happy that the studio is asking for so many cuts to the cutting, as it were," someone connected to the film told the Daily Mail. "The thing is, the studio really likes the film and they want to make it accessible to as big an audience as possible - which means stemming the blood flow."
Because, really, how grisly does a story about a vengeful serial killer and his cannibalistic lover have to be? You mustn't frighten the children, Mr Burton, especially when they've money to spend. (That's what they mean when they say they want to "make it accessible to as big an audience as possible.")
[Source]
Finally, a movie musical with enough gruesome murders to hold the attention of even my most priapic, weightlifting older brother.
Just as you should expect your chefs to be portly, you need to expect your macabre, stop-motion animation directors to be weird; and Tim Burton never disappoints. Even if he's going to some hoity-toity exhibit at the London's Royal Academy, he makes sure to keep one foot firmly rooted in dark oddball. Wife Helena Bonham Carter just adds to the dishevelment. They don't look dirty, they look too busy with important business at the laboratory to brush their hair.
Tim Burton is Marilyn Manson gone horribly right.
[Source]
Editor
