HOLY MATRIMONY “Timbaland and his girlfriend, music exec Monique Idlett, have tied the knot, Usmagazine.com has confirmed exclusively. The two wed ??? in their sweats! ??? in Virginia on Tuesday by a family pastor.”
Here it is: Madonna’s video for “Four Minutes to Save the World,” which features lots of gyrating that no 50-year-old woman should ever attempt. There goes four minutes we will never get back.
LUCKY LOHAN “Paris Hilton has banned Lindsay Lohan from all of her birthday celebrations after the pair squabbled during Timbaland???s pre-Grammys party in Los Angeles last Friday.”
Here’s something you never saw coming: Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton got into a catfight last night at a Grammy party. Evidently the two want to work with party host Timbaland in order to achieve that hit record that, inexplicably, neither of them have yet to create. Here’s the play-by-play:
Lindsay arrived at the party first. She made a beeline for the hit producer … and waved at him wildly over the barriers.
Then Paris strolled in surrounded by a massive entourage and took up a seat directly opposite Li-Lo — and far closer to Timba. Clocking her rival, Lindsay began fluffing up her hair extensions and launched into verbal attack.
Lindsay pointed at Paris and snarled: ‘What the hell is that bitch doing here? I didn’t know she was on the list.’ To which Paris spat back: ‘F*** off you bitch.’
Taking a huge swig of Red Bull, [Lindsay] made her move — clambering over a sofa towards her prey. Not to be outdone, nimble Paris hurdled a barrier and flung herself at him first. None of which impressed the great man himself, who gave both a blank stare before walking off.
Wow, nice work. You almost had him, ladies! But this was all unnecessary: Timbaland is so last year — 2008 is all about the next up-and-coming genius producer Spencer Pratt. If you call now, you might be able to catch him before his nightly meeting in the bushes outside Lauren Conrad’s house.
Which powerhouse music producer likes to gear up before long sessions in the studio by watching his favorite kind of big-booty porn?
Along with turning down an opportunity to record a song with hitmakers Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, news today reports that Britney Spears (seen above giving Beverly Hills police something to think about while masturbating) also passed on the multi-platinum single “Umbrella” when it was originally shopped around, thereby giving pop sensation Rihanna the glory.
In retrospect, perhaps choosing to manage her own career was a poor choice.
Britney Spears, whose career as of late has been in a bit of a rut, has made yet another poor decision, this one of epic proportions.
Britney Spears backed out at the last minute from recording a duet with her old flame, Justin Timberlake - and the inexplicable decision last month has suits at her record label, Jive, very worried.
The duet, which was to be produced by hit-maker Timbaland at his studio in Virginia Beach, could have started a big comeback for the troubled pop tart, who peaked before she had two marriages and two kids.
A music industry source said Timberlake wrote the duet specifically for Spears. Although they wouldn’t be together in the studio, his voice would have been mixed with hers later.
“Timbaland set aside a week out of his crazy schedule to do this - and then, just before she was supposed to fly out, Britney abruptly canceled the session and refused to do the song.
Nice one, Spears! Justin Timberlake and Timbaland could turn a grieving widow’s moans into a hit record. See you in the funny papers!
Jennifer Lopez has released new details about her upcoming album, Brave.
It’s produced by Swizz Beatz, Timbaland Cory Rooney, Jermaine Dupri, newcomers Lynn & Wade LLP and Jonathan Rotem. Speaking about the record, Jennifer recently said: “It’s coming out incredible. We’re putting together some great things, and not what everyone’s expecting. Think a little Jamiroquai, a little Sade. It’s real feel-good music.”
Sources in the know have begged to differ, noting that while the music will probably be “feel-good,” it most definitely won’t be “real.”
• Happy birthday! You’re friends with thieves! [ONTD]
• Paris has ADD. That’s why jail’s so tough for her, she can’t concentrate on the tests. [DListed]
• Timbaland’s a fighter, which tends to be the case when one intentionally misspells their name. [SH]
• That’s so embarrassing. [BWE]
• Carmen beating a dead, naked horse. [HT]
• It’s so hard to find mute help these days. [Yeeeah]
• Still Jenny from the block, though now with thousands more in superfluous diamonds. [CityRag]