Look at how much they're trying to cover up his five o'clock shadow! Poor guy. Can you imagine having to do at 20 what you did at 12?

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Get this: magic isn't real. Neither is being a child actor. That's why Draco Malfoy, arch nemesis of Harry Potter (at least he was the last time I cared), is practicing to be a singer.

Malfoy's muggle name is Tom Felton and his muggle songs are too saccharine for this muggle-fucker to enjoy. What do you think?