Ever the media-savvy businessman, Joe Simpson has publicly responded to the same rumors we hear about him every week (he’s a creepy control-freak), and his defense isn’t helping. “The media says that I try to plan everything,” Joe says. “If I had half of the power they give me…” Um, then what? Do we want to know?

He then went on to address reports that he’s jealous of the men in his daughters’ lives:

[Tony Romo]’s a great guy. I love Tony to death. He’s just a good kid.

I love Pete [Wentz] to death. He has a patient spirit and a kind heart. I’m honored to have Pete as my son-in-law.

Key word, of course, being “death.”

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We already knew Joe Simpson was the main reason behind Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo’s breakup, but now more sources are coming forward to reveal exactly how bad things got with Papa Joe. Rumor has it he advised Tony to drop his agent so Joe could take over his NFL career and contract worth almost $70 million. How Tony managed to turn down that offer is beyond us. But it gets better: Joe then informed Tony that if he proposed to Jessica, Joe could “do the same that [he] did with Ashlee.” Meaning he could whore out their precious memories.

But media-savvy Papa Joe fired back, releasing a statement that just makes him sound as ridiculous as ever:

It’s unfair to criticize me for what every manager does for his or her clients. And in this business, where people can quickly turn on you, who better than a parent to be working for his children?

Preach it, Joe! Parent managers are definitely the way to go, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Just look at Dina Lohan.

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So apparently the Jessica Simpson-Tony Romo relationship is really back in action, but only on Romo’s terms. According to a friend, for some bizarre reason, Tony thinks Papa Joe is too involved in the relationship. That really came out of nowhere.

He did agree to go to [sister Ashlee’s] wedding — keeping his promise to Jessica. But he made it super-clear that if they were to give it another go, her dad had to seriously back off.

So the showmance will continue — but only as a trial run — as long as Joe no longer tells Romo “how to run his life, career and endorsement deals.” So, in other words, they’re already broken up.

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The Papa Joe spin machine was in full force over the holiday weekend, leaking the imaginary details of Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo’s latest date. Yes, they had a post-breakup get-together.

On Saturday, Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo looked every bit the happy couple at N9NE Steakhouse in Dallas. ‘They were holding hands, in a good mood and happy,’ a source tells People. ‘They looked like they were on a date together.’

Everyone can pretty much agree on the fact that Jess and Tony are kaput, so here’s what we want to know: Why are the Simpsons so hell bent on keeping this relationship alive, and what do they have on Romo?

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Tony Romo caved to Papa Joe’s insistence that he accompany Jessica Simpson to sister Ashlee’s wedding this weekend. But the delusions continued as the former couple staged fake romantic moments so word would get out from an anonymous source that the two are totally still together.

They were very cozy and cute together. She’s definitely not mourning John Mayer! She was in an amazing mood and so happy her sister was getting married.

They were kissing and holding hands throughout the night. He was very sweet to her. They were very much a couple.

So we’re all on the same page that this “source” is Papa Joe, correct?

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Congrats, Simpson family: Your pathetic attempts to stay in the spotlight have worked, and in the process, every last member of the family looks like a loser. Granted, it’s been like this for awhile.

Here’s the latest on the disaster Papa Joe created:

• Tony Romo and Jessica are still broken up, and Simpson reps are still denying it. Sources say Tony finally had enough of Papa Joe’s meddling — which included unsolicited career advice — and also became upset after seeing Jess’ Glamour magazine interview in which she referred to him as her “future husband.”

• Papa Joe has begged Tony to accompany Jess to Ashlee’s wedding this weekend to “support the family.” Also, to keep up appearances.

• Speaking of the wedding from hell, Ashlee and Pete Wentz have asked guests to dress in dark colors for the big day. That’s so deep.

• People has reportedly shelled out seven figures for exclusive access to the couple’s wedding photos. Has the magazine learned nothing from the public’s lack of interest in the Mariah wedding pictures?

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Look! Star got a photo of Jessica Simpson’s ex-jock, Tony Romo, out in Chicago with a new girlfriend, one who looks amazingly similar to Jessica Simpson. Snooze. Clearly, these meatheads are not heeding our advice.

TEXANS REJOICE! “TMZ has learned that the romance between Jessica Simpson and hotshot QB Tony Romo is as dead as the Cowboys’ 2007 playoff run. Their reps have been going on the record saying that they’re not split, but our sources — who know what’s really going on — say the two have cut the cord … at least for now.”

For reasons unknown, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo was asked to help sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” at Sunday’s Chicago Cubs game. Judging by his vocal technique, it seems someone has been taking lessons from girlfriend Jessica Simpson.

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CUE THE CHIRPING CRICKETS “President Bush wants to send the ‘Jessica jinx’ to this summer’s Democratic National Convention in Denver. ‘We’re going to send Jessica Simpson to the Democrat National Convention,’ he joked in front of members of the Super Bowl-winning New York Giants who were visiting the White House Wednesday. Simpson was widely blamed for beau Tony Romo’s worst performance of his career as a Dallas Cowboys quarterback in December.”

Tony Romo celebrated another year of life Saturday night in Dallas, and girlfriend Jessica Simpson was there to cause a scene, because nobody else is allowed to take the spotlight away from her.

To kick off the evening’s festivities, Jess took to the microphone and sang “Happy Birthday,” much to the disappointment of everyone else in attendance. But then when it was time to unveil the cake, things took a turn for the worse.

‘She licked cake from his face as everyone cheered them on. It was quite a spectacle,’ says one club insider. ‘But they looked really happy together. Jessica had blue icing all over her hands and mouth and Tony was laughing.’

If you have yet to eat lunch, feel free to view the rest of the photos here.

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Jessica Simpson checked into Cedars-Sinai Medical Center Friday to treat a minor kidney infection. The singer, who was kept over the weekend for observations, is scheduled to be released Tuesday. The fact that we’re just now hearing about this three days later is proof that nobody really cares about Jessica — not even her boyfriend, Tony Romo, who has been in Dallas this whole time.

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This is not going to help Chace Crawford ward off those gay rumors: The Gossip Girl star has reportedly broken up with beard Carrie Underwood.

Sources are offering every reason possible for the breakup — other than Chace’s maybe-boyfriend JC Chasez.

First excuse: Chace does not have enough time, what with Gossip Girl resuming in NYC. Second excuse: Carrie does not have enough time, as she wants to focus on her career.

The third excuse, however, is the most creative:

Carrie saw how cute Tony [Romo] and Jessica [Simpson] are and wanted a relationship like that. She’s a hopeless romantic and likes being close with the person she’s with.

Next time you try to come up with a believable excuse for a breakup, here’s a tip: Don’t mention “cute” in the same sentence as the Tony/Jessica relationship.

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Receiving an award from Cosmo appears to be some sort of honor, hence the gathering of the magazine’s “fun fearless males” today in New York City.

The group included the likes of John Mayer, Dane Cook, Common, John Krasinski, Tony Romo and Tom from MySpace. We’re sure there was some great conversation among Tony, Dane and Mr. Mayer.

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Jessica Simpson’s fairytale romance with Tony Romo isn’t all puppies and sunshine and dropped football passes. This couple has problems just like everyone else. Their latest struggle stems from the fact that Tony doesn’t believe Jessica’s upcoming country album will be as good as his ex Carrie Underwood’s.

Tony said he thought Jess would have trouble winning over audiences with her upcoming country CD.

He really hurt Jess’ feelings. She tried to laugh it off in Hawaii [where Tony played in the Pro Bowl], but she pouted whenever she heard Carrie’s songs playing.

It’s almost as if Tony is trying to put a damper on Jessica’s career, no?

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Forbes released a list of Hollywood’s most influential couples — and we have some issues with it.

Who shouldn’t be on the list: Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo. Seriously? The only thing that couple influences is our desire to vomit. And then there’s Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz, who we thought broke up three years ago.

Who should be on the list: Britney Spears and frappuccinos. If those two don’t go the distance, there’s no hope for any of us.

The full list, after the jump.

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Pictures removed at the request of the copyright holder.

Thank God for Jessica Simpson, y’all.

Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo could have been in Arizona yesterday playing in the biggest game of the year. But Jessica had to whisk him away to Mexico before the playoffs, thus ruining the season for the Cowboys and the entire state of Texas.

But obviously Tony got the last laugh: He spent Super Bowl Sunday hauling around Jessica’s dog, Daisy. And then he probably hung out at the Simpson household while Papa Joe stared at Jessica’s boobs and she busted out old buffalo wing jokes.

You hear that? That’s the sound of Nick Lachey laughing his ass off.

Despite the report in OK! claiming Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson, the two were spotted out in Hollywood last night catching an 80s metal band at The Key Club with hairstylist Ken Paves.

Jessica obviously had a good time, as she needed to be helped out of the club by an army of men. Not spotted was Papa Joe — perhaps he was sick?

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