• The littlest Palin lady is the only one we can stomach. [DListed]
• Eva Longoria denies the pregnancy rumors: "I’m just fat. I gained 5lb over the summer so instead of a size zero, I’m a size one." [INO]
• Jennifer Aniston stays relevant by playing in the sprinklers. [HT]
• Kid Rock vs. Oprah … We have a feeling this isn't going to go well for the Kid. [ICYDK]
• Forget those new 90210 twerps; we'll take Adam Brody any day. [PS]
• Keira Knightley was verbally attacked by a someone, but she surprisingly survived without collapsing into a pile of malnourished bones. [Yeeeah]
AMERICAN WOMEN INCREASINGLY SELF-LOATHING "… according to a report published Monday by the nonprofit women's organization YWCA, our ceaseless pursuit of perfection is more toxic to American women and girls than ever. … Eighty percent of women say they're unhappy with their appearance, and 67% of women ages 25 to 45 are trying to shed pounds — though 53% of those women are already at a healthy weight. The report also cited a study in which 69% of the respondents (18 and older) said they were in favor of plastic surgery — a 7% increase from 2006."
What's this? Britney Spears is gracing the cover of OK! for the second time in as many weeks?
Just last week the tabloid scored the first interview — paparazzi shouting questions at her doesn't count — with the pop star in a cooperative arrangement, and this week Ms. Spears is showing off her new body in a clear "I've totally turned my life around" cover story.
In news that is surely devastating to 13-year-old boys everywhere, Kim Kardashian announced that she plans to lose weight in her butt. Evidently Kim has grown weary of the constant media attention that surrounds her rear: "I'm just so over it! When you're posing on the red carpet and the paparazzi shout, 'Turn around! Turn around!' — it gets a little offensive."
Fair enough, Kim, but then how will you stay in the spotlight? It's not like you ever do anything worthy of celebrity, unless you count that sex tape. The only reason anybody knows who you are is because of your famous ass, so you might want to reconsider your plans to tone it down.
[Source]
Remember way back in November when Jennifer Love Hewitt suddenly became relevant again thanks to a charming TMZ post criticizing her weight? And then JLH notoriously shot back that "a size 2 is not fat"? Well, evidently she still thought she could stand to lose a few pounds and then brag about it to Us Weekly. As you do. The actress claims she lost 18 pounds, but we have a hard time believing that.
Next week I'm scheduled to set foot on US soil for the first time in three months. I suppose it's about time I begin to get reacquainted with my mother nation's traditions and values, so I'm really happy this article ran in today's Wall Street Journal, reminding me that America is a place where serious thought is put into whether our politicians are fat enough to be good leaders.
… in a nation in which 66% of the voting-age population is overweight and 32% is obese, could Sen. Obama's skinniness be a liability? Despite his visits to waffle houses, ice-cream parlors and greasy-spoon diners around the country, his slim physique just might have some Americans wondering whether he is truly like them.
The candidate has been criticized by opponents for appearing elitist or out of touch with average Americans. A Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll conducted in July shows Sen. Obama still lags behind Republican John McCain among white men and suburban women who say they can't relate to his background or perceived values.
"He's too new … and he needs to put some meat on his bones," says Diana Koenig, 42, a housewife in Corpus Christi, Texas, who says she voted for Sen. Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary.
"I won't vote for any beanpole guy," another Clinton supporter wrote last week on a Yahoo politics message board.
USA! USA! USA!
Richard Simmons descended upon Capitol Hill to fight childhood obesity with a happy dance and emotional plea. We're sure his cause is a worthy one, but every time we look at him we can't help but be reminded of all his stints on David Letterman. Click through for two of our favorites (and you can watch Richard's Capitol Hill speech here).
In case you had any question that Jessica Alba is a miserable shrew, please note what she told the UK version of Cosmopolitan when asked about her pregnancy body:
I never felt less sexy. I mean, I wouldn’t have changed it for the world and my cravings weren’t so bad — I craved citrus fruits, like lemons, oranges and grapefruit. But I wanted to get rid of all the weight.
And remember: She wants to be taken seriously as an actress — not just known for her body.
Fake British dame Gwyneth Paltrow in the new Harper's Bazaar: "And you know, I don’t want to look like a mother who doesn’t care. For myself, for my work and for my relationship, I want to look good."
Hear that, fatties? You just don't want it enough. Why aren't you paying for the kind of trainer who makes you want it?
Post gossip Cindy Adams on gastric bypass patient Carnie Wilson's upcoming autobiography:
THIS STAR HAS HAD QUITE A HEAVY LIFE
We know what you're thinking: All that boozing has finally caught up with Colin Farrell, causing liver failure and a host of other ailments. Well, you're wrong—for now. Farrell's become a stick to better portray a war photographer in the new film Triage. Lucky for him, cigs have no calories.
The roving band of lepers and ponces at TMZ have published a feature entitled "Fat After Fame," in which they identify and then mock celebrities who have dared gain weight over the course of their careers.
Look! Britney Spears' regular body is now thin enough that murderous, unfeeling tabloids consider it a "new bikini body," even though they probably still think she's crazy. What total bullshit.
The Chris Farley Show, an eponymous new biography about the late comedian and SNL alum, spells out something his unrelenting drug abuse should have clarified for everyone years ago: He actually didn't enjoy being made fun of for being hugely overweight and he only allowed it so that people would like him.
Chris Rock blames Farley's undoing on his deep-seated need for approval. "'Chippendales' was a weird sketch. I always hated it," says Rock, "The joke of it is, basically, 'We can't hire you because you're fat.' There's no comic twist to it. It's just [bleep]ing mean. A more mentally together Chris Farley wouldn't have done it, but Chris wanted so much to be liked. As funny as that sketch was … it's one of the things that killed him."
Click through for the now infamous "Chippendale sketch."
CONTINUED »
Jason Davis — who appears to be drinking coffee through a straw — debuted a new body yesterday in LA. We're not surprised to see he's dropped the weight — between his inheritance and drug habit, he has all the resources in the world to shed the fat. Unfortunately for him, he still looks like a disgusting, sweaty pig.
[Source]
The Huffington Post has exposed a deceitful plot by OK! magazine to try and pass off as recent a four-year-old photograph of Britney Spears accompanying the headline "Britney Lost 15 Lbs in Just 4 Weeks!" ("No Pills, No Lipo"). These days, Britney's not so pretty and coquettish, and you deserve to know that.
Editor
