The upcoming NBC reality show Celebrity Come Dine with Me is an American spin-off of a popular British show where a celebrity host has four of his celebrity friends over for dinner, and then gets judged on criteria ranging from food (edible? Macro-biotic?) to entertainment (karoke? charades?). Somehow this will produce a "winner" from the range of hosts, although it seems like there is only one host/hostess per show, and implies the same guest "judges" travel from house to house, which would mean there are four celebrities in Hollywood that have nothing else to but run around town visiting go around and visit their other celebrity friends. This is different from what celebrities normally do, because there will be cameras following them here.
SHMOLYMPICS Forgive me, nation, for I have sinned: I haven't watched more than five minutes of this year's Olympics since they started – no swimming, no track, no wrestling – and I don't think I will. Every time I go to turn them on the television, I feel as if I'm about to start a chore and quickly drop the remote like a leaden shot.
I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just can't summon the fevered devotion like many others. I'm looking for a support group; anyone else out there with me?
Commenters from all over the world continue to address this post on Corey Haim as if they were talking directly to him, and the missives are no longer just fawning. One recent personal message was full of tough love:
Haim, grow up, and see the light. The light is a man who has gone thru the same things you have, but chose to fix it. You are in major denial, and one jealoud boy. What you need is to get your ass kicked around, so some sense is knocked into you.
Oh wow. Are computers and reality really this confusing for some people?
This is the most absurd story we have heard in a long time, and that's saying something after living through the Britney Spears Crazy Fest of 2007: Actress Nikki Blonsky and her father were arrested this week after getting into a fight with a woman in an airport. The fight, which broke out at Providenciales International Airport in Turks and Caicos, was over seating arrangements. Evidently the woman wanted to sit somewhere, but Blonsky and Co. refused to move their luggage. A source claims that the woman was injured so badly that she was flown to Miami. Um, OK? Nikki's being charged with actual bodily harm while her father is charged with grievous bodily harm.
It gets better: Former America's Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden was also involved, but nobody knows why or how. Oh, and Nikki's now in a neck brace.
Seriously, there's no way this can be true. Right? Right?
[Source]
And another one.
Thought the Monster Squad remake was sacrilege? Get a load of this: MGM, the studio that brought you Barbershop 2, is reimagining 80s cult classic Valley Girl as a musical, melding the story's original punk-meets-square narrative with classic New Wave hits.
Pour out a little Bartles & Jaymes; the 80s are dead.
From a new interview with Out magazine:
I know Perez Hilton is a big fan of yours — is the feeling mutual? Do you think he and his cohorts work for the forces of good or the forces of evil?
I don’t go on the website all the time because I’d never get anything done if I did, and he knows that. But when the lights are off and you’re just sitting and talking to him he’s a wonderful force.And there’s something about his particular brand of panache or style that you can get behind?
I think he’s funny, but more than that, he’s very smart. He’s scary smart. And that’s why this is occurring — because he’s extremely intelligent. No different than Brian — Marilyn Manson.
The hills are alive with the sound of M16 bursts! Yes, those are real guns Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are caressing like awed monkeys, and, apparently, there's a lot more where those came from: "The Hills couple has been concerned about their protection and … recently spent $10,000 on weapons at the Martin B. Retting store in Culver City, Calif." As if these two sad, strange people weren't frightening enough!
[Source]
Well, it's only 2008 and the admen already think (know?) we're this lazy and programmed to conform, so how long until they completely abandon their games and just start saying, "Give us your money because other people have"?
Two sick, horrible bastards in Britain are skeeving everybody out by showing up to major events without faces. First it was Elton John's White Ball, then the Harrod's sale and then Wimbledon. Where their eyes and noses and mouths should be, there's some sort of contoured pink latex, which magically allows them to both see and breathe freely. It's a hell of a trick. Then again, there's always the possibility that they're real demons, like those that haunted our nightmares for weeks after our parents let us watch Jacob's Ladder at far too young an age.
Click here to see the creeps, and after the jump find two clips of one of the most disturbing films ever: Jacob's Ladder.
CONTINUED »
Adman: We want two words to come to people's minds when they think of Auntie Anne's Pretzels: uncircumcised erection.
Aunt Annie's CEO: Brilliant!
Assuming that the average person has about 16 waking hours per day, researchers predict that in five years, almost a third of that time will be spent looking at video screens:
Consumption of video content is expected to rise 25% to five hours per day by 2013, compared with the four hours now watched in 2008, according to Forrester Research. The firm suggests the increase will be driven by consumers watching programming of all grades via computers, mobile phones, portable media players and even digital photo frames.
Yep, whereas we once had, "The revolution will not be televised," we're now stuck with, "The television will be revolutionized." What a great leap forward, huh? Excuse me for a second: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Bravo is cooking up a spinoff to its "Top Chef" franchise that would feature teenage competitors.
…
"Top Chef Junior," which is in development, is a cooking-competition series that would feature contestants who likely will range in age from 13 to 16. Bravo said that "Top Chef," which aired its season finale Wednesday night, is a draw with younger viewers, ranking in the top 15 shows among kids/teens 2-17 in the Wednesday 10-11 p.m.
We don't know which is more disgusting: The grease burns these nervous kiddies are going to sustain week after week or the fact that media sharks and scummy admen actually track the viewing habits of FUCKING TWO-YEAR-OLDS!!!!!!
WHAT'S AMAZON'S TIME WORTH? "You expect it to happen to fund-strapped start-ups such as Twitter. But Amazon? The e-commerce site went down this afternoon around 1:30 EDT and stayed down for at least an hour. Attempts to access Amazon.com were met with the following message: 'Http/1.1 Service Unavailable.' It's hard to know exactly how many dollars a minute Amazon loses in sales for every moment its site is down, but simple math pegs it at about $1.8 million an hour …"
We're not losing our hair anytime soon and that makes us happy, because, sure, we like having hair. But, glad as we are to not be bald, we'll never understand comments like this recent one from Gwyneth Paltrow:
I was very, very attached to my hair. I grew it when I was pregnant. I still had hair from when my father was alive. I made it like a talisman. And then I was ready to let go of it, and so I chopped it off and … aaah!
Hair as a talisman? Traumatic haircuts? What is it with you hair people? Seriously, tell us. We want to know.
[Source]
THAT'S JUST GREAT "For the 77th consecutive month, [Fox News Channel] finished first in total day and prime time ratings during May. FNC was the sixth highest rated cable network on all of basic cable during prime time for the month (CNN and MSNBC finished 19th and 26th) and the seventh rated network in total day (CNN and MSNBC were 19th and 27th)."
[Fox] has given a series order to FremantleMedia North America's "Hole in the Wall," the "human Tetris" game show whose foreign incarnations have become a YouTube hit.
In the show, participants contort their bodies to fit precut walls flying toward them on a track. If they don't fit through shapes, they're pushed off the track into a pit of water below.
OK, seriously, is everyone really this bored and uninterested in reading? Really?
AND THE REMAKES KEEP COMING "MGM could be bringing back the Cold War. 'Red Dawn,' John Milius' 1984 tale of a group of American rebels fighting Soviet forces, is a candidate for a remake, studio toppers Harry Sloan and Mary Parent revealed Saturday at the American Pavilion in Cannes. They also confirmed that 1987's 'Robocop' could resurface in a new version."
Editor
