Dead Eye-Off
— Sat, Sep 23, 2006 —

Well, The Dead Eye-Off ended not with a bang, but with a landslide. Lindsay Lohan never stood a chance against Katie Holmes: The Most Vacant Looking Pregnant Lady Ever. It was a long and bumpy (and perhaps f-ed with by outside sources) road to the gold, but it's only right that the woman who inspired it all takes home the first ever title.

So, Ms. Holmes your prize (shh, it's meds) is in the mail. Hope you can sneak off and enjoy them when Tommy is in the living room looking in the mirror and jumping on the couch.

— Fri, Sep 22, 2006 —

Here we are. It's the moment we've all been waiting for (especially those of you who hate this Dead Eye-Off): The Final Round. There's been controversy. There's been drama. And now there's this. In my opinion the two strongest candidates are here: Lindsay Lohan and Kate Holmes. It's on. Vote away.

We have a winner... Announcement tomorrow.

Voting ends at Midnight EST.

New to the Dead Eye-Off, here's the history.

Here we are, the final round. Words are lost. It all makes sense now.Scandals are forgotten. It's all come down to this. Voting starts soon.

Read More: Dead Eye-Off

— Thu, Sep 21, 2006 —

This is the Dead Eye-ness that confuses me. You Magazine presumably took thousands of shots of Kirsten Dunst for their upcoming issue and someone choose this as one to actually run? What did the rest of them look like.

After the craziness of last night, today's rematch between Katie Holmes and Mischa Barton seems to be going much more logically. Voting will be open until Midnight EST, as always, but there's only one vote per ISP. So go to your local FedEx/Kinkos and get jamming:
Katie Holmes vs. Mischa Barton

Thanks again for all your help and feedback!

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Bam. Your voices have been heard. Katie vs. Mischa. Steel cage match of truth. One vote per computer/IP. Tell your friends. Rally the troops. Let's blow this thing out of the water. May the Deadest Eyes win.

Voting finished. Phew.
Katie Holmes: 80% (2234 Votes)
Mischa Barton: 20% (544 Votes)
Winner: Katie Holmes, fo sho.

Voting closes at Midnight EST.

Confused? New to the Dead Eye-Off? Well, it just got interesting, so check out the full history here (scroll down).

You may notice that one of our spots for the Dead Eye-Off is currently filled with question marks. While Mischa Barton clearly won her fight with Katie Holmes in the vote count, it reeks of dirty behavior. As I wrote about here, and diligent commenters noted here, the vote count took a turn for the unnatural a few hours before the polls closed. I'm still working out how best to react to this, so until then the finals are pending.

The other fight was back and forth all day with Lohan taking the ultimate prize. We can only hope this is a trend especially in light of recent, troubling Harry Morton rumors.

The Dead Eye-Off, controversy and all, will all be over soon, I still promise.

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Picture this: Ten Dead Eyed minions stuck in a room, voting for Mischa Barton over, and over, and over again. Sweet.

When I went out for a couple of hours this evening, Katie Holmes was healthily ahead of Mischa Barton in the Dead Eye-Off poll. I came home to see Mischa Barton pulling ahead. Okay. So I refreshed the page. And again. And again. Interesting. It was 11ish, the poll was ready to close in one hour, and the votes for Mischa Barton were climbing at a rate of hundreds of votes per minute. Wait, as reminded by a commenter today, this sounds reminiscent of a situation with Parade Magazine earlier this year:

It appears Parade recently ran an online poll asking whether [Tom] Cruise was to blame for his failing public image or the media, and the results displeased the media outlet doing the questioning: ???A shocking 84 percent of respondents blamed the press.???

As you can imagine, Parade being a member of said press didn???t like the poll???s outcome. So, it began investigating how the answers could have been different from what they wanted???er, expected. According to a Parade spokesperson:

"'We at Parade found this a little bit fishy, so we did some investigating. We found out more than 14,000 (of the 18,000-plus votes) that came in were cast from only 10 computers! One computer was responsible for nearly 8,400 votes alone, all blaming the media for Tom's troubles.'???

At poll closing time, Mischa Barton was ahead by around 3,500 votes, about as much as any of the DEO polls got total. Sure, there was a grassroots Katie Holmes spam vote push, but no match for the mystery sources pledging allegiance to Mischa Barton's DEs. I'm not making any assumptions, just saying that I would like to call foul play with this match-up. So what do you say? Re-match with only one vote per computer? Mischa wins by votes? Katie wins by shady default?


— Wed, Sep 20, 2006 —

Call me behind on the times, but no one ever told me that Gwyneth Paltrow actually died last September. I mean, it's a little disrespectful for someone to take pictures of her corpse, but at least it helped me learn of this occurrence. Holy. Dead. Eyes. If I had found this pic earlier, she might have actually won this tournament.

Speaking of which, The Final Four Dead Eye-Off Matches are still going strong. I'm still baffled as to how Katie Holmes is losing so badly (Scientologists, are you rigging this?), but voting is open for 6 more hours. So keep chugging. Finals are tomorrow:
Katie Holmes vs. Mischa Barton
Lindsay Lohan vs. Paris Hilton


Yes, yes, this Dead Eye-Off has taken up quite a bit of MollyGood property this week, but I'm certainly not going to drop out of this marathon at the 24th mile. Besides, this may be the most exciting match-up yet. The eternal battle of Good (well, seemingly less evil) vs. Evil. Dark (hair, on the head, we all know about the rug) vs. Light (thanks, hair dye). Lindsay vs. Paris. Ah, if only this wasn't just an online poll.

Voting Finished. Thankfully, this one doesn't feel dirty (a first for anything involving Hilton and Lohan):
Lindsay Lohan: 54% (2199 Votes)
Paris Hilton: 46% (1882 Votes)
Winner: Lindsay Lohan

Blah, blah, voting over tonight at Midnight EST, blah.

If you don't know what's going on with this Dead Eye-Off, start here at the bottom.

Sure, making it to the final four of the First Ever MollyGood Dead Eye-Off might be enough for some people, but can't you just see the determination, the drive to win, in Katie Holmes' and Mischa Barton's eyes? Oh, right, no.

Yikes. Voting Finished? Still figuring this one out:
Katie Holmes: 41% (8005 Votes)
Mischa Barton: 59% (11545 Votes)
"Winner": Mischa Barton, investigation pending

Blah, blah, voting ends at midnight EST, blah, blah.

New to the Dead Eye-Off? Read all of it here.

Here they are, the Final Four. You voted them here, and as it stands we have four of the biggest heavy hitters (in the gossip, but not as much the actual talent, sense) in Hollywood: Katie Holmes, Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, Paris Hilton.

The biggest shock of Round Two was Jessica Simpson's commanding lead over Katie Holmes out of the gate. Beyond general shock and befuddlement, it clearly caused a coup d'voting, ultimately winning Katie the golden ticket. Both Lohan and Mischa owned their respective battles, despite comments asking that Mischa be DQed as she's been lifeless since conception. MK Olsen and Paris battled over their metaphorical Stavros neck-and-neck all day, but in the end, as in real life, Paris prevailed.

There's only three bullfights left (good thing for those of you who are ready to leave me forever over this). May the Deadest Eyed win.

Round Three, fight!

Read More: Dead Eye-Off

— Tue, Sep 19, 2006 —

Yes, Star Jones could have dominated this competition (though I would venture to say she is often more "crazed" or "homicidal/hungry" than "dead," but what do I know?), but alas there were no submissions until today. So here she is, always the bridesmaid never the bride (other than that one time...which seems to be going really, really well for ol' Star).

There are still 6 more hours of voting on Round Two of the First Ever MollyGood Dead Eye-Off (Sick of it yet? It'll be over soon. Promise). In case you haven't voted yet, here are the mud wrestling matches currently in progress:
Mary Kate Olsen vs. Paris Hilton
Lindsay Lohan vs. Teri Hatcher
Mischa Barton vs. Beyonce
And the roller coaster that has been Katie Holmes vs. Jessica Simpson
Like yesterday, these poll are open until tonight at midnight EST. (Actually, I had to shut them down about 20 minutes early. Sorry, bittles)

Again, new to the Dead Eye-Off, check here.

The road to the Dead Eye Final Four is paved with your votes. Will 1/2 of Michelle Tanner be able to bring Full House the glory her sister was unable to? Or is she no match for the Paris Hilton juggernaut?

Do it.

Voting Finished. Woo Hoo!!
Mary Kate Olsen: 49% (1877 Votes)
Paris Hilton: 51% (1937 Votes)
Winner: Paris Hilton by a beak

As Jessica Simpson continues to completely inexplicably pummel (is is too late for a last minute comeback?) Katie Holmes in Round Two of this little Dead Eye-Off, there are other battles to be fought. Namely a pill popping catfight between Lindsay Lohan and Teri Hatcher. May the best broad win.

Voting Finished. Woo Hoo!
Lindsay Lohan: 73% (929 Votes)
Teri Hatcher: 27% (347 Votes)
Winner: Lindsay Lohan

Like yesterday, this poll goes until tonight at midnight EST.

Again, new to the Dead Eye-Off, all past information here.

It's hard to focus on this Mischa Barton vs. Beyonce fight when there is such an upset going down in the Jessica Simpson vs. Katie Holmes round (perhaps this is my fault for letting anyone vote as many times as they please). But seriously, how is Jessica winning so handily right now?

Back to M and B, though. Both Mischa and Beyonce barely eked by in their first round victories. Does Beyonce's vacant determination match-up to Mischa Barton's glassy wide-eyed stare? Only time will tell.

Voting Finished. Woo Hoo!
Mischa Barton: 67% (782 Votes)
Beyonce: 33% (393 Votes)
Winner: Mischa Barton

Like yesterday, this poll goes until tonight at midnight EST.

Again, new to the Dead Eye-Off, all past information here.

Well, good morning. If you're new to the MG Dead Eye-Off, here's the complete history. If you've been here before, welcome to Round Two. Things are getting hot here: still Top-Seeded Katie Holmes is up against Downward Spiral of Self-Loathing Jessica Simpson. Get voting, and do what you will, folks:

Voting Finished. Woo Hoo!
Katie Holmes: 64% (6043 Votes)
Jessica Simpson: 36% (3381 Votes)
Winner: Whew, Katie Holmes

Like yesterday, this poll goes until tonight at midnight EST.

Again, new to the Dead Eye-Off, check here.

Well, that was exhausting. It's the end of Round One of the First Ever MollyGood Dead Eye-Off. Thanks to all of you, this was the most excitement I've had in while. The Jessica Simpson highs, the Jamie Lynn Spears lows.

Four of the eight match-ups were decided from the start: Katie Holmes out-zombied Victoria Beckham, Lindsay Lohan bundled Ashley Olsen, Mary Kate Olsen stole Kimberly Stewart's Dead Eye Prize boyfriend, and Paris Hilton wonk-wonked her way to victory.

The remaining four battles were shockingly close. One match-up even ended in a percentage tie according to the poll site (it was eventually decided on vote count). Jessica Simpson ultimately hair-pulled and eye gouged her way to victory over Dakota. I guess the older you are, the more soulless you can muster. This proved true for Teri Hatcher's victory over Jamie Lynn Spears. Ashlee Simpson will have to avenge her loss to Mischa Barton with a walk-off later. As for Beyonce's slipping by Nicole Richie despite posting a straight 50/50 percentage split? Sometimes even being fantastically wasted is no match for Bidet.


Round Two starts in a few short hours. May the deadest eyes win.

Thanks for making this fun,

Read More: Dead Eye-Off, Top

— Mon, Sep 18, 2006 —

This Janice Dickenson gem made its way to my inbox a little too late to be included in this tourney, but that doesn't mean we can't give Janice an extra special MollyGood shout out. This crazy bitch looks abnormally sedate in this pic. Did someone finally succeed in drugging the excess of "life" from her eyes?

There's about six hours of voting left on Round One of the First Ever MollyGood Dead Eye-Off, so keep on keeping on. Here's who's fighting to the death right now:
Paris Hilton vs. Fergie
Mary Kate Olsen vs. Kimberly Stewart
Teri Hatcher vs. Jamie Lynn Spears
Ashley Olsen vs. Lindsay Lohan
Beyonce vs. Nicole Richie
Ashlee Simpson vs. Mischa Barton
Dakota Fanning vs. Jessica Simpson
Katie Holmes vs. Victoria Beckham

Results will be posted this evening. Get some rest though, cause Round Two starts tomorrow.