— Fri, Mar 2, 2007 —

Jesse, once you get B-cups, it's time to stop with the chest presses at the gym. The evolutionary reason women have permanently enlarged boobs is to mimic the butts that initially attracted males when everyone was monkeys. Check it out:

...as early humans (hominids) began walking upright, face-to-face encounters between the sexes became the norm, affecting the position used in sexual intercourse: males would no longer mount females from behind as they do among non-human primates. In the non-human primate position, presentation of the female buttocks to the male is an erotic display that stimulates male interest and excitement. With the advent of bipedalism, Morris argues, if females were to be successful in shifting male interest around to the front, evolution would have to do something to make the female frontal region more stimulating to males.

See? You're basically a prehistoric tranny.

Pretty girlfriend, though. Have fun in Hawaii!


Read More: Jesse Metcalfe

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No. 1
Brandon says:

He's hot and the evolution theory is crap.

March 2, 2007 2:06 PM
No. 2
jILDO says:

If you enlarge the picture of her holding her.... she has the freaking nastiest toes ever freaking tingers.

March 2, 2007 2:10 PM
No. 3
yourmom says:

Yeah, jILDO, i noticed that too but she's really pretty otherwise. a lot of people in america prob dont know who she is but she's a singer in the british girl group, girls aloud. she has a great voice.

March 2, 2007 2:29 PM
No. 4
Helena says:

ugh. Another gym queen that spends all his time pumping up his chest and biceps. Look at those chicken legs!

March 2, 2007 2:48 PM
No. 5
Max says:

I think he's hot. But yeah...evolutionary theory is crap, like jesus and muhammad and thor.

March 2, 2007 2:48 PM
No. 6
Kitchy says:

He's icky. The well-manicured eyebrows are freakier than the boobs.

March 2, 2007 2:56 PM
No. 7
Brandon says:

Legs r really hard to bulk up if ur not naturally prone to have big calves it isn't easy to build muscle there. Whereas arms and chest usually respond very quickly.

March 2, 2007 3:00 PM
No. 8
Brandon says:


One day Muhammad and Thor r going to hold u down while Jesus kicks ur ass.

March 2, 2007 3:08 PM
No. 9
Emma says:

The girl in question is Nadine Cole of the british all girl band Girls Aloud

March 2, 2007 4:43 PM
No. 10
max says:

Were they shooting a commercial? Everything looks so posed and "art-directed". I mean, that leafy "necklace" matches the patterns on his boardshorts, for crying out loud.

March 2, 2007 4:46 PM
No. 11
iryvius says:

At LAST. I thought I was the only one that thought his boobs were freaky.
There's a condition where men gets a chest like that. (I don't know what the exact term is) It's sort of painful but can be corrected with surgery. I wonder if that's his case.....
Or perhaps he's just a prehistoric-tran....lol

March 2, 2007 4:48 PM
No. 12
brendan says:

might be implants, actually... no joke...

March 2, 2007 4:56 PM
No. 13
iryvius says:

Found the name for it....GYNECOMASTIA is the medical term.

March 2, 2007 5:04 PM
No. 14
angela says:

Came here hoping the evolution debate would have, well, evolved.

On Desmond Morris' theory: if a guy finds himself attracted to a flat-assed, flat chested girl, maybe what he really wants is a man. Suck on that fundies. (if you secretly aren't already)

March 2, 2007 7:50 PM
No. 15
FunMe says:

Seems like he has Gynecomastia:


Gynecomastia is the development of abnormal breast tissue on men, small or large, and normally on both sides. The term comes from the Greek gyne meaning "woman" and mastos meaning "breast". One out of three American adults suffers from some degree of enlarged male breast. Gynecomastia can cause feelings of embarrassment and awkwardness. For most men, the best solution to reduce and reshape their breast is by surgery.

March 2, 2007 8:09 PM
No. 16
kool says:

i got chest like that i started doing decline chest press starting to help, sometimes it's just fat and you lose it when you lose weight

March 2, 2007 8:38 PM
No. 17
angela says:

If 33% of the male population suffers from this then I'd say evolution is trying to do something here. Maybe it's responding to an increase in a woman's desire to peg her guy from the front.

March 2, 2007 8:38 PM
No. 18
ProfessorVP says:

The pose is typical Jesse. The girl is just a prop, and he is facing camera full-on. Well, to be fair, can't blame him... Hollywood's a rat race and he better make some $$$$ while he can.

March 2, 2007 8:44 PM
No. 19
hannah says:

boys shouldn't have boobs like that. seriously. (the link was pretty interesting though, i thought...screw you guys!! haha)

March 2, 2007 8:53 PM
No. 20
Allie says:

jILDO...you took care of my comment. That toe is hideous. I don't even know what she looks like, all I could see was the toe/ape finger.

March 2, 2007 9:50 PM
No. 21
really says:

alright, so maybe I'm out of the loop, but who is Jesse Metcalfe?

March 2, 2007 11:17 PM
No. 22
celia says:

wow. some folks are desperate to criticize that they have to highlight a man's chest and a woman's toes. must be a slow news day now that Anna is buried, Britney is in rehab, and Paris is taking her Valtrex.

March 3, 2007 12:04 AM
No. 23
ProfessorVP says:

Really-- Jesse Metcalfe was the hunk/landscaper in Desperate Housewives who shagged Eva Longoria. I don't know if he's still in it because I stopped watching. Like a lot of Hollywood gays, his bf is no particular secret, and this idiotic photo shoot is for what showbiz and political people sneeringly refer to as "the flyerover states"-- that is, clueless hillbillies between NY and LA
who would run screaming into the streets or jump off buildings if they knew somebody was gay. A month ago, country/western homo Kenny Chesney did a similar shoot with a model.

March 3, 2007 12:08 AM
No. 24
Man says:

I would suck the cum right out of his man rod!!!

March 3, 2007 2:48 AM
No. 25
Otto says:

I had sex with him Atlanta. (guy here). He's bi at the least.

March 3, 2007 2:11 PM
No. 26
Otto says:

and for those who will ask...

Wydham Midtown Windsor Suite

March 3, 2007 2:14 PM
No. 27
angela says:


Step 1: gay sex with celebrity
Step 2: tape that shit
Step 3: internetz?
Step 4: Profit!

March 3, 2007 2:35 PM
No. 28
Angela says:

Nadine is in the english group GIRLS ALOUD. She is Irish though, from Co. Derry.

March 3, 2007 6:23 PM
No. 29
Chilly says:

Thor is REAL Max! Shun the non believer, shuuuuuuunnnnn.

March 3, 2007 9:23 PM
No. 30
maxSteel says:

thats the type of boobs men get when doing steriods and eating fat.

March 3, 2007 10:46 PM

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