Jessica Simpson
— Wed, Jun 14, 2006 —

Oh I kid the Lohan, I kid. Obviously any and all eating issues Lindsay Lohan may or may not have ever had are clearly FINE and OVER and SHE'S HAPPY. Other than being dead in the eyes, she is looking great these days.

The real question, though, is what does Lohan think of the Jared Leto's revolving penis. Specifically, what does she think about Jessica Simpson taking her place as orafice of choice for the week? People investigates:

But what about Lindsay Lohan, who was linked with Leto, her costar in the upcoming Chapter 27, last year (and who clashed with Simpson in April over the attentions of mutual pal Brett Ratner)? "She's telling friends she's furious," says a source close to the actress. "She feels betrayed by Jared."

Says Lohan's rep, "Lindsay could care less."

Shouldn't that be 'couldn't care less,' or could she, in fact, care less and this rep was trying to throw us off the trail. Ha-HA, you thought you could slip that one by me, didn't you, Lohan rep? Not so fast.

[Source, Source]

Now that the Simpson twins are in full effect, its only natural to assume that they hate each other. Thankfully, Jessica tackles this weighty matter in an interview with Maxim this month, Star has a quote:

My sister. Her body is so sick right now! She's like this little surf girl with the most perfect boobs and the skinniest legs. I have no idea how she looks so good. She's addicted to sugar...There's no sibling rivalry. We're different people, and our bodies are totally different...

Well, 'totally different' might be a bit of a stretch, ya know, in comparison to the rest of society, but it's nice to see that Jessica Simpson's naivete extends beyond fish vs. fowl and into the mysteries of plastic surgery.

At least Jessica's not having her concert tickets given away for free because Ticketmaster can't sell them. Yikes, rough luck Ashlee. I mean, that's probably because Jessica isn't touring and hasn't made music for a long time, but at least she has that shred of dignity in tact.

[Star Quote via PopBytes]

— Tue, Jun 13, 2006 —

Nick Lachey is back on the MTVcest wagon after spending a romantic weekend in Mexico with MTV VJ and former rumored flame Vanessa Millinno. Perez Hilton has a couple shots of a steamy hot tub moment (well, not too steamy as Nick didn't even remove his hat), and as more surface I will be sure to send them your way. On the side are photos of Nick at an event in Chicago last night, sporting a little more of a glow than just his suntan.

The real treat though, is this video, a clip Nick filmed for an informercial for Core Secrets. He's spreading the love with his rock-hard abs, blue bandana, and totally schweeet barbed wire tat. I'm not sure if he is pimping anything other than an exercise ball, but whatever.

After seeing Jessica Simpson's spending habits and frigid bedroom manner, I'm fairly sure that Core Secrets isn't the only place that Nick is getting more bang for his buck.

After the jump, watch Nick and Vanessa pretend to be Nick and Jessica in his music video.

[There's More To Read ...]

— Mon, Jun 12, 2006 —

I know Jessica Simpson is desperate, but if these rumors are true about her and Jared Leto, things have reached an all-time low. Sure, at least it's not Wilmer Valderwhywouldanyhalfwaydecentstarletdatehimma, but Leto is pretty low. Star relays this:

Eyewitnesses said Jessica and Jared made no attempt to hide their sexy rendezvous. ???Jared went right over to be near Jess, and sat down next to her. They were talking very closely,??? said one source.

???Jessica was having a great time. She was dancing and seemed to really be enjoying herself,??? said the source. Things got really heated later into the night. ???They were draped all over each other. And it???s not like they were trying to hide it ??? a lot of people inside the lounge saw them openly flirting, and couldn???t believe their eyes.

???They looked like they were having a lot of fun together. But they didn???t kiss ??? that was at least one thing they kept out of public!???

Maybe she is just trying to guilt Nick into coming back by dating the most pathetuc douches she can find, Even so, Jared Leto? Does she know where that genetalia gas been? Inside every peice of young hollywood he runs across, and that boy spends a lot of time around town.

Jessica Simpson may have bumped uglies with all the Jackass dudes, Dane Cook, and anyone else willing to listen to her talk for more than five minutes, but sleeping with the same dude as Lohan within two weeks? That's kinda sad.


— Fri, Jun 9, 2006 —

??? Russell Crowe shocked no one by losing his shit and throwing a phone at a hotel worker's head. Luckily, money heals all wounds. [OAN]

??? Tom Cruise continuted to alienate and mystify every fan he ever had with his constant Katie Holmes publicity stunt. One year later, those same fans are the ones trying to put him in the loony bin. [PopSugar]

??? Meanwhile Katie Holmes, when left alone, sometimes had to answer quesions about Tom Cruise and how they met, which she was clearly unfit to do. [Defamer]

??? It feels like just last week that Paris Hilton pulled off her top while being filmed, but this video is from a year ago. Oh, right that happened last week, too. [The Superficial]

??? Stavros Niarchos started his ascension into Paris' vag, starting with Mary-Kate's. [A Socialite's Life]

??? ARE BRAD AND ANGELINA DOING THE NASTY?? Fuck, yes, calm down, people. [CityRag]

??? Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson are fine. Nothing to see here. Keep walking, folks. [PITNB]

— Wed, Jun 7, 2006 —

Yeeahh, Nick, about that divorce, I'm thinking maybe not such a good idea?

According to this week's Life & Style magazine, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson's divorce could be final by the end of next week. Although L&S is the gossip rag usually the most crammed with raging lies, it can't be too long before the two are done for good. Baby Jessica, whose wandering vagina may have been the reason for the original split, is having a harder time with dating than Nick these days.

Jessica was linked to a number of men early in the split including Adam Levine, Dane Cook and Jude Law but none of those were ever confirmed and at best they were short lived.

"Jessica's learning that most men aren't as commitment as Nick was," an insider tells Star Magazine.

"She's seen that there aren't many eligible men who are serious boyfriend material. Most men she meets look at her as an easy score or a ditzy blonde," the source continues.

So, you're saying she's easy. Don't feel too bad for Jessica, though, she'll find herself a good man soon enough, and until then she's always got Poppa J to keep her warm.

[Source, Source]

??? Rumors of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's return to the United States have been greatly exaggerated. [JustJared]

??? And thankfully, all parties appear okay after yesterday's Shiloh picture leak "world crisis." [A Socialite's Life]

??? Really though, when you're paying for the face of an angel, numbers don't matter, anything's a bargain. [Jossip]

??? Nicole Kidman's newest wedding to the ambiguously sexually oriented will be the most secret ceremony ever. Someone wants some big bucks for the photos. [DListed]

??? Heather Mills (formerly McCartney) claims her porn photos were for an educational book. Since there is no text, it sounds like the most teenage friendly sex intruction manual ever. [Celebitchy]

??? Simpson sister fantasies are now two times the fun. [Hollywood Tuna]

— Tue, Jun 6, 2006 —

??? Sienna Miller keeps herself relevant by any means necessary. This time, its topless sunbathing. Come on, that is so Aniston years ago. (Click on picture above for uncensored version) [Egotastic]

??? We can all breathe easy, there is another suggestive Jessica Simpson photospread on the way. [Faded Youth]

??? Listen, it would make Teri Hatcher feel a lot better if you would just tell her that she doesn't need any (more) cosmetic surgery. [WWTDD]

??? Joe Simpson is too busy molesting, er, managing his daughters to change his clothes. [PopSugar]

??? Paris Hilton likes her thong tan lines. They help her know at what point she should stop pulling up her skirts. [JustJared]

??? Janice Dickinson may have slept with a lot of celebrities, but even she could not get past the fortress of the Cosby sweater. [CityRag]

You can take away Jessica Simpson's status as the hottest Simpson sister, but you can never take away her idiocy. And gosh darn it, if Jess wants to wear your grandmother's couch covering doily as a dress, who's gonna stop her? Not you, that's for sure. And probably not your boyfriend either.

Jessica is working the bimbo angle as much as she possibly can and is rumored to be taking over Pamela Anderson's role in the Baywatch movie, if only she can master the special running.

The bimbette, who's been tipped to star in the upcoming Baywatch movie, bumped into Pamela Anderson last week and stunned her by asking: "How did you guys run so slowly in the show's opening scene. You know, where you're running down the beach?"

Pam, 38, who played the original CJ, was rendered speechless but after an awkward silence, patiently explained: "It was shot in slow motion." She even resisted the urge to add "Duh!"

Other things Jessica doesn't understand: how they made fish talk in Finding Nemo, how they made Mel Gibson age quickly in Forever Young, and why noone uses time machines like in Back to The Future anymore.


— Mon, Jun 5, 2006 —

Jessica Simpson didn't hit the red (or rather, blue) carpet at Saturday's MTV Movie Awards until just before the taping was set to start at 7pm. And when she did arrive (shortly after Superman Brandon Routh), we watched the crowd (filled with press and fans) go nuts, all jockeying to get close to her. We've got exclusive clips of Jessica doing what she does best: parading in front of photogs.

After the jump, three more video clips you won't find anywhere else but on MollyGood.

[There's More To Read ...]

The MTV Movie Awards may not air till Thursday, but MollyGood hit the ceremony on Saturday to bring you exclusive shots from the red carpet. While you can always visit Getty Image's library of paparazzi photos, but certainly you'd rather see celebrities they way they were meant to be seen: from the back. That is, the way we did most of our gawking while making passive attempts to trespass on the red carpet.

Up above is Will Farrell, and on the side check out Cindy Margolis' rump, Kate Beckinsale's booty, Owen Wilson's wrinkled ass, Steve Carrell's cheeks, and Jessica Simpson's rear.

Click images for larger versions.

This weekend marked the biggest event of the year (if you live for MTV Award shows, which you may, no judgment), the weekend of the MTV VMAs. MollyGood won't ruin the results (hint: they're already on the MTV website, hint #2: the people who won the awards were the ones who attended the show).

On a whole, people didn't dress like complete assholes, with the obvious exception of Kate Beckinsale. And Jessica Alba's head didn't explode from having to read and occasionally string together original sentences for an entire evening. It's a VMA miracle.

There will be more pictures, of course.

The unannounced winner for Best Backhanded Compliment of the Evening went to Christina Aguilera, for her stunning assessment of Britney Spears according to E!:

"It's a shame Britney doesn't go to any shows or awards anymore, because they are so much fun, even if you're not nominated for things, I miss seeing how hot she looked on red carpets and seeing her at awards and shows was the only times we really had time to catch up with each other because we're both so busy".

This should be read as, Sorry your life sucks, Bitch. Looks like you got the short end of the life stick. I look hotter than you used to, and now you're just a cow. I feel sorry for you, your husband, and your spawn. Size 26 misses you!

Stay tuned for MollyGood exclusive photos from the event. VMAtastic Monday has just begun.

[Source, Source]

— Fri, Jun 2, 2006 —

??? Mischa Barton swears at her mother and calls her names in a hotel hallway. But hell, guess who is paying for that hotel room? [Bricks and Stones]

??? Congratulations to Rachel Weisz on her baby boy, and because no one will harass her for pictures while we are still waiting on Suri and Shiloh. [Celebitchy]

??? Lindsay Lohan wants Brandon Davis to apologize on video and make a charitable donation to make up for his tirade against her. He should probably give it to a firefighter???s organization, just for shits. [WWTDD]

??? Rough Thursday night? Feel like you look like ass? At least you???re not Goldie Hawn. [DListed]

??? Jessica Simpson???s sagging breasts look like Ashlee???s old nose. Oh how the Simpson tables have turned. [CityRag]

??? The Beckhams are coming to America; I give it six months before he???s cheating on her again. [rosiedemario]

Surprise! Jessica Simpson has been seeing a therapist...and people are wondering why. The Enquirer's possibly false report says this:

"No one knows for sure what Jessica discussed, but it was clear that she was seeking help for something very troubling," said an inside source. "Her hand was trembling as she reached for the door, and she looked like she was desperately trying to fight back tears as she went back out to face the world."
Added another source: "It's anyone's guess what the real issue is."

Oooo-kay. If people can't figure out why Jessica Simpson is maybe a bit troubled these days, I think we have larger societal issues on our hands.

Folks, if we're all going to butt our pathetic heads into any and all celebrity business, we may as well accept the consequences--sometimes our abused stars get sad, too. At points like this, it's best to complement pictures (Jessica, your lips look natural) and take one step back, because if nothing else it gives us a better full body view.

[Source, Source]

...and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"

Groan. I'l be here all day. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

Seriously though, for all the money spent on her ner visage, Ashlee Simpson looks like she's about to break down in tears. She must be the saddest girl to ever have her weight-loss trainer, nose, chin, and lip surgery all paid for by daddy.


— Thu, Jun 1, 2006 —

I know that Britney Spears has been looking rough for the past year and a half or so, but saying that she's going to look like Anna Nicole Smith in 20 years? That's a bit rough, US Weekly. Trimspa execs are probably looking at this and licking their lips with anticipation.

US made some other celebrity fast forward predictions, ranging from the obvious (Benjamin McKenzie into Russell Crowe, Dakota Fanning into Jodie Foster) to the incredibly insulting for one party (see above and to the side). Come to think of it Paris Hilton into Donatella Versace is mutually insulting.

I mean, Paris hasn???t yet opened that scalpel can of surgery worms. And Donatella didn???t spend all that time and money creating her masterpiece of Botox, plastic, and characteristics that give all children nightmares just to have some two-bit socialite jack her steez in a few years time.

Hey, good news for Sophia Loren, at this rate Nicole Ritchie's not going to be around 20 more years to see if this depressing prophecy comes true.


— Wed, May 31, 2006 —

Jessica Simpson is beginning to show some serious signs of paranoia. I mean, I know it sucks that her best friend/ex-manager Cacee Cobb is kinda sort of sleeping with her ex-husband, Nick Lachey.

And maybe her ugly ducking little sister, Ashlee has been making frequent and successful visits to a certain type of doctor.

And rumor has it her movie role as Daisy Duke is being taken over by reality television faux-starlet, Kristin Cavalleri.

Oh, and she recently entered a store and was told that "Team Nick" shirts outsold "Team Jessica" ones 40 to 1.

But is that any reason to think that everyone is out to get you? Fine, I guess so. Combine the voices in Jessica's head with her sub-Mensa IQ and we got a recipe for disaster. The Insider has a great story from last week's GQ Celebrity Poker Event:

When the world's most famous single blond bombshell hit GQ's ultra-private celebrity poker tournament last week in Los Angeles, I'm told she became quite suspicious of [Anne] Heche. At one point Simpson was overheard asking event staffers to give Heche the boot because she was convinced that Heche was a tabloid reporter looking for dirt, a source tells me. Even though the staffer promised Simpson that the woman she believed to be no good was "Anne Heche, the actress," Daisy Duke protested. My source says this went on for about five minutes. Simpson finally gave in when Heche walked by her and Simpson was able to get a better look at her.

To be fair, Anne Heche is looking pretty wily and suspicious in that picture. You never can be too careful. Or too dumb, in Jessica's case.

[Source, Source]

— Tue, May 30, 2006 —

??? Fab from The Strokes proves himself remarkably un-rockstar by staying with Drew Barrymore and owning a giant white fluffy dog. [DListed]

??? Lindsay Lohan has a thing for a British boy and may move to London for him. Coming on a little strong there, honey. [Egotastic]

??? Joss Stone fun for adult men both with her music and her nubile young body in a bikini. [HollywoodTuna]

??? This just in: celebrities are worthless spokepeople. [CityRag]

??? The twisted relationship of the Simpson sisters, could be a smash hit in movie form. [PopBytes]

??? Roadhouse 2? There is a god. [BWE]