— Wed, Oct 18, 2006 —

Jordan Bratman's daily schedule as I imagine it:
Wake Up
Sex with wife, Christina Aguilera, one of the hottest women on earth
Think about sleeping with Christina over coffee
At lunch realize don't have to work as hot wife is also filthy, filthy rich
Leave Work at 12:30
Smoke Pot
Ride Bike
Get home to have sex with Christina
Taco Night with Christina
Sex with Christina again


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No. 1
Christopher Longaway says:

Molly...you have got to be kidding when you say Christina Aguilera is one of the hottest women on earth. I spewed my coffee out all over my laptop when I heard that. Where do I begin with her faults? Well, I will start off with her good points to be fair. She has the prettiest blue eyes I have ever seen. ( next to Ashlee ) Allright, that about sums up her good points, now the bad points: For one, no matter how thin she gets, she has a nasty beer belly. It makes you think of Homer Simpson some times. She has nasty black hair, it would look allright if she left her hair its natural color. She is not that cute in the face. She kind of looks like a Bulldog. ( an ugly Bulldog ) Her legs are scrony, and unattractive, she has hanging jello arms, Her voice is annoying ( not as annoying as Jennifer Lopez ) however, she manages to sing quite well...I could go on and on.
Having said all that, I would still have sex with her. Might be interesting. Hell, she is rich. I know this is going to surprise some women, but men are attracted to wealthy women. Do you really think we care about the size of your breasts or buttocks, or how pretty you look? Hell no, we want to spend just as much money as you all. Attitude really determines if a man will like you too. I like women like Ashlee, I love her attitude. A little Immature, but can really clean herself up and look nice at times.
Same principals apply to guys. Do you really think a woman cares how big your penis is?
The first thing a woman usually asks me on a date is: "So, what kind of work do you do?" depending on the answer, the next few questions and tone of the date change dramatically. You either have to have money, or be able to do something. I told this girl: "I am a garbage man." just to see what would happen. I must have hit the red button, because her countenance fell, and she crossed her arms. "Take me home." that is what she said. So I did. A few weeks later she saw where I realy worked, and felt stupid.
So take my advice, and fill your pockets with money. "Is that $100's of dollars rolled up in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" You better answer correctly.

October 18, 2006 10:08 PM
No. 2
Beppo says:

Was that fake itinerary supposed to be funny? 'Cause it totally was not.

October 19, 2006 4:05 AM
No. 3
Gin says:

Love it Christopher Longaway! So hilarious but yet so true! Email me sometime. I'd love to chat!

October 20, 2006 5:34 PM
No. 4
stephie says:

Careful Gin, the guy is a freak. Just scroll through some of these threads and you'll see what I mean!

October 20, 2006 5:52 PM
No. 5
Christopher Longaway says:

Now...it is Time, for my big confession. After my victory over David Garcia, ( AKA, Angry, Inspector Gadget ) I have decided to retire as of this day. I will never return to Molly Goodson's website. I feel I have said and done all I could, and I am bored ass hell with this site. But before I go, I will answer one starteling question: Who is Christopher Longaway you ask? Christopher Longaway is none other than...Christopher Longaway! Gin, If you want to talk, go to Yeeeah.com and will talk.
I leave you with these parting words...Fuck you. Fuck you very much! Good night people!

October 20, 2006 10:50 PM
No. 6
Christopher Longaway says:

Christopher Longaway makes my coochie wet. He's funny.

October 20, 2006 11:13 PM
No. 7
attractive young lady says:

Christopher Longaway makes my coochie wet. He's funny.

October 20, 2006 11:14 PM
No. 8
Christopher Longaway says:

What the fuck? You can't even let me go out in style could you guys. Well for that, I got two words for you: "SUCK IT!"

October 20, 2006 11:16 PM
No. 9
Bernadine says:

Christopher I know Angry has hurt your feelings, he's said some awful things to you, and you have him/or her. But just be the bigger man and walk away from it. I am begging you...PLEASE!!! I find it so offensive when I have to read all the filth you and this person Angry have posted. So stop.

October 21, 2006 12:54 AM
No. 10
Christopher Longaway says:

I don't need your pity. I would rather be feared and loathed...Than ever be an object of pity.

October 21, 2006 1:01 AM
No. 11
clsucks says:

i guess if christina got lipo like ashlee then she would look good for longaway. he likes em plastic like scrimpson...the hoochie coochie who isnt pretty enough without plastic surgery that makes her look like someone else!

October 23, 2006 10:23 AM

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