Mischa Barton
— Thu, Jun 8, 2006 —

Lets play a game. Think of a question to ask The Magic Mischa Ball. Got it? Make it as personal as you want, in fact, even better if it involves some sort of inane background information.

Now, ask The Magic Mischa Ball and then press play on this video and hear Mischa's heartfelt response to your query.


Yup, that's about as much Mischa Barton cares about anything you think, say, or do.

[Images from July Australia Vogue via Source]

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— Fri, Jun 2, 2006 —

??? Mischa Barton swears at her mother and calls her names in a hotel hallway. But hell, guess who is paying for that hotel room? [Bricks and Stones]

??? Congratulations to Rachel Weisz on her baby boy, and because no one will harass her for pictures while we are still waiting on Suri and Shiloh. [Celebitchy]

??? Lindsay Lohan wants Brandon Davis to apologize on video and make a charitable donation to make up for his tirade against her. He should probably give it to a firefighter???s organization, just for shits. [WWTDD]

??? Rough Thursday night? Feel like you look like ass? At least you???re not Goldie Hawn. [DListed]

??? Jessica Simpson???s sagging breasts look like Ashlee???s old nose. Oh how the Simpson tables have turned. [CityRag]

??? The Beckhams are coming to America; I give it six months before he???s cheating on her again. [rosiedemario]

— Tue, May 30, 2006 —

I cannot even really explain the joy I felt upon reading that Rachel Bilson and Mischa Barton actually went to high school together. Please don't rain on my parade by explaining that Bilson is 5 years older and therefore they never actually overlapped; just let me have my dream for a moment. Right here in New York City, Summer and Marissa kind of sort of real life lived the OC. Where, you ask, and what other famous went there:

132 West 60th Street, Upper West Side
Mischa Barton, Jordana Brewster, Rachel Bilson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Julia Stiles, Christopher Walken, Uma Thurman and Scarlett Johansson

Brilliant. In my head these ladies (other than Walken, who is just standing in the corner acting like a nutjob and freaking the shit out of all the hot girls) roamed the halls in a pack somehow bridging the divide between the cool kids and the drama kids. Mischa and Rachel play their exact parts from the show, clearly. Sarah Michelle Gellar was the cheerleader. Uma Thurman, the hot athletic one who slept with all the cool older guys. Julia Stiles was always almost a popular girl, but never quite, and tried too hard at parties, often resulting in embarrassing dignity-less moments. And Scarlett Johansson smoked cigarettes in the parking lot and was rumored to give blow jobs for cocaine.


— Mon, May 29, 2006 —

A very special thank you to Mischa Barton for writing my final post of the day for me. Say it with me now, Mischa is a bag lady. Alas, its not all Whole Foods and frumpy clothes for Mischa filming her movie up in Toronto. According to Canada.com some one out there decided to invite her to a dinner party where conversation was crucial. I can't imagine she has A-team banter, but maybe she would surprise me:

The stars were close to the stars last Sunday. That's when an out-on-a-limb Shirley MacLaine, the don't-hate-me-because-I'm-beautiful Mischa Barton and a very merry Von Trapp Christopher Plummer joined many others for a lovely dinner, indeed, at Toula. That resto high, high up in the Westin Harbour Castle.

Front-and-centre too: Lord Richard Attenborough, who's here to helm a movie called Closing the Ring. With him was his special Lady, Sheila Attenborough. (Dontcha just love it when you get a Lady named Sheila?)

The cast of thousands -- minus a few thousands -- dined on a meal meant for Roman nobility. We're talking steamed white asparagus in truffle sauce, handmade gnocchi in classic pesto with asiago shavings, beef filet with green peppercorn pearls, wild mushrooms and red snapper perfumed in lemon and oil. Dessert, of course, followed, and it was composed of wild berries in Grand Marnier with vanilla-bean gelato.

There was wine, there was grappa, and there was conversation that flowed like the Trevi Fountain. A good opportunity, definitely, for Mischa -- who's playing the young Shirley MacLaine -- to get to know the grande dame just a little better.

The whole evening sounds like a gas--pleasant chat and delicious food with an emaciated skeletal starlet who appears to have the personality of a 2x4. Smashing.

[Source, Source]

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— Tue, May 23, 2006 —

This is why I'm happy I don't have a photographer (or 50) following my every move. Interestingly enough, this is also the closest Mischa Barton has ever been to a McDonald's container. Coincidence that this is also the moment when Mischa Barton's coin slot is on display to the world, or is it her own version of social commentary? You decide.

Also, Mischa Barton has found the key to not being yelled at for being anorexic: wear the least flattering combination of clothing ever. The skinny pants paired with the billowy top--recipe for appearing pear shaped and matronly. (Two things that I'm fairly sure Mischa Barton is not.)

Does anyone know what kind of dog Mischa totes around? Holy sweet lord I need one in my pocket as soon as possible.

— Mon, May 22, 2006 —

Brandon Davis is figuring out the hard way that being an unhygenic and dispicable person doesn't necessarily win you friends. Especially the unhygenic part. That shit is sick. Take a shower grease-ball.

Luckily, Brandon Davis had some C-List stars to keep him company at Hyde (Zach Braff I would expect more of, however) while all the actual celebrities were off in New York and Cannes this weekend. As usual, TMZ was stationed outside of every club in LA this weekend and was lucky enough to overhear a woman confront Davis;

(May 22, 11:35AM ET) -- Brandon Davis learned this weekend that it doesn't pay to be vulgar and classless. The man who went on an obscene tirade last week against Lindsay Lohan was verbally attacked by an outraged woman outside a Hollywood nightclub.
"No wonder why Mischa Barton dumped your ass," the woman screamed. She added: "Go home and take a shower."

Burn. Come on, Paris, friends don't let friends allow personal cleanliness fall by the wayside. It's also gone far too long without Mischa Barton's name being dragged into this debacle, so I'm glad to see this is finally an equal opportunity scandal.
The woman who confronted Davis said: "Lindsay Lohan earns her money. You get it from daddy."

This event is the best thing that ever happened to Lindsay Lohan. Her publicist must be the happiest woman in Hollywood. Before this happened Lindsay Lohan was on a downward spiral towards public disdain, but now everyone is running to the starlet's defense. Lohan has been saved by the consistently proven fact that even if you are hell-bent on destroying your own reputation, there's always someone dumb enough to bolster it back up.
[Source, Source]

Mischa Barton really doesn't want Richard Attenborough touching her face, let alone kissing her cheek. Unfortunately, Mischa should know that part of being a young female star is letting all the skeevy movie producers act as lecherous as they damn well please. Mischa is working with Attenborough on Closing the Ring a WWII fight movie currently being filmed in Toronto.

It's been a rough week for Mischa, what with ruining The OC for her legion of young fans and now being forced to spend hours scouring her cheeks to rid them of old man. Newsweek checked in with her to see how much of an idiot one person can come of as in a few short questions. After establishing that she was forced off the show rather than retiring on her own, Misha had these nuggets about her life:

Your voice sounds deeper than it does on TV.
I have a general transatlantic accent, I suppose. I'm nothing like my character. Are you kidding? I was born in London, raised in New York. She's crazy. I don't understand how anybody could be like her.

It's good to know that the only ways Mischa can differentiate herself from Marissa Cooper is pointing out that they were born in different places and by calling Marissa crazy. The drug habits, underage drinking and general instability? Pretty true to life.

Mischa was in New York at the time of the interview and was forced to field such hard hitting questions as this one:

Are you going to walk [your puppy]?
Yes. She's never seen SoHo or Tribeca, and I grew up there, so I feel it's necessary. But it's horrible, because she's way too little to put down. I have to walk around with her in my arms, and I look like one of those girls who has a small dog.

Yeah, no shit, Mischa. When you are a girl whose dog is too small to walk on its own legs, I'm going to go ahead and call you out as "one of those girls who has a small dog".


— Wed, May 17, 2006 —

Aw look, it's Marissa and Summer out for a little shopping on a sunny afternoon. Only, if this was actually on the OC the girls might be forced to look like they were actually enjoying themselves. It's a little bit of a fantasy of mine (and yours, come on, admit it) that television stars are really all best friends with each other off the set, and when it came out that Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody really are in love I just about died of a patheticly adorably sap overload. However, I've also always wished that Rachel Bilson really sort of hated Mischa Barton, because she seems like a whiney bitch. I guess I can't win 'em all.

In this picture Mischa Barton's skirt ends before Rachel Bilson's legs even start. It's kinda like Rachel could inadvertantly look up Mischa's skirt because she is just so lanky and towering. Well, not really, but that would be pretty awesome.

— Tue, May 16, 2006 —

Mischa Barton knows that if you're going to walk and Sidekick at the same time, you should always wear reflective clothing. Even a simple strip of reflector down an otherwise standard sun dress will increase your chances of being seen, made fun of, and subsequently not hit by passing bikers or cab drivers on the streets of New York.

See Mischa Barton is a good role model, excessive partying and unattractive mating choices be damned.

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