— Mon, Feb 19, 2007 —

Lisa Robertson, the stewardess recently seduced by Ralph Fiennes, has come clean about the tryst in a ridiculous, 3,800-word article that reads like a Harlequin novel:

"The attraction had been immediate and overwhelming from the moment they first made eye contact.

But as Qantas stewardess Lisa Robertson leaned over towards Hollywood star Ralph Fiennes to offer him a drink, she could not have imagined how the evening would unfold - or that she would end up in a passionate tryst with him in the aircraft lavatory."

How delightfully naughty!
By this point they were sitting so close their faces were just inches apart. Lisa said: 'He held my hands. Then he started kissing me. The kissing was very passionate and his hands were all over me. I just melted.

'He was caressing my neck, holding my head and he started undoing the buttons on my dress. The way he was going, he would have made love to me right there.

'I was very turned on and so was he. I had butterflies in my stomach. I was touching his face and his hair. He had beautiful skin. I was undoing his shirt as well. It was a bit surreal, like a scene from one of his movies.

'But I was afraid my supervisor might pull back the curtain and catch us. Eventually, I couldn't bear it any longer. I just grabbed his hand and said, "Come in here a minute."

'By this time, we had half our clothes off and I didn't care about anything. I led him into the cabin lavatory next to where we had been sitting and locked the door.

'Ralph was a great lover. And I thought if I was going to get the sack, it would be worth it. I knew it was against the rules and wrong but I didn't care.

'He asked me, "Have you ever done this before?". I said, "No, never." I asked him the same question and he said, "No."

'The only strange thing was that he kept his eyes open the whole time, staring at me intensely, although we were kissing madly.'

Careful not to trip over all the bawdy details! With this, I think the Daily Mail just effectively snatched up the malcontent soccer mom demographic ("Now you can get the news and intimate insight into sexual escapades your husband will be too busy working to replicate").

PS This article also notes that Ralphy insisted on unprotected sex. Absolutely wonderful behavior while on a UNICEF AIDS awareness tour.


Read More: Ralph Fiennes

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No. 1
Trini says:

Hoe sit down!

February 19, 2007 2:33 PM
No. 2
Nice says:

I love this stuff! She should write for Nerve.com.

Ralph is catholic. He can go to hell for condoms.

February 19, 2007 2:37 PM
No. 3
Kimberly says:

Can he go to hell for being a slut-pup?

February 19, 2007 2:40 PM
No. 4
Trini says:

Ralph can go to hell for a lot of things. But her certainly can't go to hell for wearing condoms.

February 19, 2007 2:50 PM
No. 5
Ed Reif says:

Mollygood! Great Post On FLy ME, I'm Lisas,

Ralph Fiennes Gets Some Complimentary Mojo On TakeOff Plus Bonus Miles On Flight QF123

Work Ethic In The Toilet "I'm Lisa. Fly Me!"

Lisa's dad Graham Robertson, was quoted as saying" Lisa just does her job and if someone wants a cup of coffee and biscuits, she looks after them." I guess bathroom sex is part of her $24,000 per year job. Check please.

Ba-Bye---Thank you for flying Qantas. Flight crew, you can now return your passengers to their upright positions.

February 19, 2007 2:55 PM
No. 6
bigmouth strikes again says:

I can't believe this chick cheated on Ben Stiller.

February 19, 2007 3:11 PM
No. 7
kat says:

WHEW!! That was SO steamy--I feel like I need to be HOSED down! C'mon--R. Fiennes just WANTED to be a member of the MILE HIGH club--You know it!! :)

February 19, 2007 5:39 PM
No. 8
kali says:

I can't possibly bad-mouth this woman for having hot steamy sex with Ralph. Fuck it . I would. It's the fact that she's blabbing about every single fucking detail. That's so unbelievably tacky.

February 19, 2007 7:56 PM
No. 9
JudeJudeJude says:

I would have done it in a minute. In fact, I am going to apply for Qantas right now...

February 19, 2007 8:30 PM
No. 10
Sassy Ass says:

I read this whole story. I thought it was kind of hot but sorry he was a dick about it.

February 19, 2007 11:32 PM

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