— Thu, Apr 19, 2007 —

It was another great day of constrained creativity here at MollyGood, with plenty of witty attacks on a witless hack.

The winner this time was Lisa #1:

"You gotta be bad."
Beyonce took that advice,

Congratulations, Lisa #1. You created a healthy combination of your own words and Des'ree's words, while kindly leaving out any of Beyonce's words.

Now hear this. It's an audio clip of Alec Baldwin going absolutely ballistic! Who's he yelling at and calling a "rude little pig"? That would be his 12-year-old daughter, Ireland. He goes on to tell her she doesn't have "brains" or "decency."

Sorry, "future daddy issues" is only six syllables, just short of a complete second line. Look to something like "horrible daddy issues."



No. 1
BabyYaYa says:

Now Someone Haiku,
Headline on Your Shoulders, too
We are the bloggers

April 19, 2007 4:21 PM
No. 2
BabyYaYa says:

I guess that should've read:

With Someone Haiku
Headline on Your Shoulders, too
We are the bloggers

April 19, 2007 4:29 PM
No. 3
Cord says:

YaYa, don't you see?
I write more than seventeen
syllables a day.

April 19, 2007 4:34 PM
No. 4
Nina says:

My daddy dearest
Coming to straighten me out.
Who's the rude pig now?

April 19, 2007 4:38 PM
No. 5
BabyYaYa says:

So do we now that you have added Headline on Your Shoulders. ;)

April 19, 2007 4:39 PM
No. 6
bedbugsandballyhoo says:

A is For Alec
"Straighten your ass out Baldwin"
A is for asshole

April 19, 2007 4:59 PM
No. 7
ESW says:

That voice doesn't sound anything like Alec Baldwin's.

Has it been verified it is indeed Alec?

April 19, 2007 5:05 PM
No. 8
lisa says:

I'm too disturbed to write haiku right now. Jack Donaghy would never talk to his child like that!

April 19, 2007 5:05 PM
No. 9
Be Adequite! says:

ESW I am wondering the same thing...altho bugsandbally's haiku rocks :-)

April 19, 2007 5:10 PM
No. 10
ronnie says:

Alec's voice message
Kim B's poison parenting
Troubles in Ireland

April 19, 2007 5:24 PM
No. 11
Stumpy says:

Kudos to Alec
Calling out his brat daughter.
No, seriously.


Alec, it's too late--
she knew to take your message
and leak it online

April 19, 2007 5:50 PM
No. 12
babycakes says:

My mother told you
My father is an asshole
Now everyone knows

April 19, 2007 5:53 PM
No. 13
deimos says:

Alec goes nuts
this is only a message
imagine him face to face

you are already twelve dear
soon you will be free from them

April 19, 2007 5:53 PM
No. 14
Helen Skor says:

Holy effing Christ
Dad is pissed at me again
This tape is worth bank

April 19, 2007 6:11 PM
No. 15
Lisa#1 says:

Man, all Lisas think alike! I like Jack too much to hear anymore bad Baldwin news...

Kill all your idols?
I still love Jack Donaghy-
Baldwin, not so much.

"Done for the last time,"
the gravelly voice threatens.
REALLY hates phone tag.

April 19, 2007 6:27 PM
No. 16
Lisa#1 says:

Question for the girls: when you were in middle school, did you ever come across bitch-face? Like, when the girl was a snotty beyotch and totally looked like it? I always wondered if I was just projecting the personality onto the face, or the face brought about the personality, or the personality showed in the face.

I don't really have a corollary for guys, except that the real assholes were the second-string cuties.

April 19, 2007 6:41 PM
No. 17
deimos says:

I have bitch face. I'm can be a bitch but most of the time I try to be nice to people. I have a hard time getting to know people because if I'm not smiling I look like I want to kick your ass. Like the saying goes...life sucks and then you die. :)

p.s. all men are assholes in their own little way. :)

April 19, 2007 6:48 PM
No. 18
Miss Tia says:

rude little pig brat
you take after your mother
better that than dad


a shrink has offered
Ireland free sessions for life
she has need for them


batshit crazy dad
yelling threats over the phone
mommy leaks the tape

April 19, 2007 8:00 PM
No. 19
celia says:

nasty divorce war
tape conveniently leaked
Kim one, child zero

April 19, 2007 8:24 PM
No. 20
Lexi says:

Think of all the dads,
Who yell at their little girls,
In just the same way.

Sad : ( I hope Christina Aguilara kicks his ass.

April 19, 2007 8:40 PM
No. 21
M. Crawford says:

Re Alec Baldwin:

It's not hard to see
Blake from Glengarry Glen Ross
Screaming at a child.

April 19, 2007 9:02 PM
No. 22
Becca says:

Poor Alec Baldwin!
You're the Father of the Year!
She's just a brat. Right?

April 19, 2007 9:56 PM
No. 23
evil twin says:

Always Be Closing,
The Door to Ireland's Heart,
Way to go, Alec.

April 19, 2007 10:11 PM
No. 24
Jackie says:

Ireland, who knows
if you're 11 or 12...
but a brat? pig? yes.

April 19, 2007 10:21 PM
No. 25
Brandi says:

A statemnt came out that Alec says he regrets the language, but anyone who knows him knows the bad things that have happened. KB leaked the tape against a court order, supposedly.

April 19, 2007 10:37 PM
No. 26
mia says:

Daughter should dyke out,
get flame tattoo. Foxfire
never says sorry!

April 20, 2007 4:57 AM
No. 27
b says:

Alec Baldwin, ass
Kim Basinger, bipolar

April 20, 2007 9:45 AM
No. 28
Courtney says:

I'll blame Basinger
'Cause I'm less afraid of her.
Baldwin, don't hit me!

April 20, 2007 10:58 AM
No. 29
Stumpy says:

If you hate calling,
why do you live in New York
when she's in LA?

April 20, 2007 4:09 PM
No. 30
Adelle says:

I just want to go on record as saying I am so jealous of y'all. I am not creative like you. Sad, really.
Keep up the good work, posters!

April 20, 2007 4:17 PM
No. 31
Lale says:

Wow. Kudos to Kim Bassinger for leaking this tape. Now she looks like the hero while her daughter gets even more f-ed up. What the hell are the kids saying to her at school? Seriously, as disturbing as Alec's tirade is, it's worse to me that a mother would want other people to hear it.

April 23, 2007 3:04 AM

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