Tori Spelling
— Wed, Oct 4, 2006 —

??? Is there really a GyllenSaars baby in the house? [JustJared]

??? Fergie smothered in cake batter is just as gross as you may have imagined. [JustJared]

??? Lohan still loves her dirty little girl habit. [I'm Not Obsessed]

??? Eva Longoria heard what a great week Saved By The Bell is having, got back in touch with ex, AC Slater. [Us Weekly]

??? There's some hot doctor on some TV show I don't watch. Pshh, whatever. [A Socialite's Life]

??? Someone somewhere exclusively broke the story of Tori Spelling's pregnancy. [DListed]

??? Back when music videos weren't completely generic. [CityRag]

??? I mean really, who hasn't thought Harrison Ford was a homeless man once or twice in their lives? [Junkiness]

— Tue, Sep 26, 2006 —

If the rumors are actually true this time, Tori Spelling is pregnant with her first child. Candy Spelling can sure as hell keep Tori out of Aaron's will, but a baby? That would just be cold. Well played, Tori.


Read More: Tori Spelling

— Fri, Aug 11, 2006 —

Hilarious and incongruous in so many ways,The Flaming Lips rock for some schweet Beverly Hills 90210 haircuts. Again we are reminded by Tori Spelling that nothing accentuates a bad boob job like suspenders, but at least it's better than Claire's Dorothy Hamullet.

[via The Hater]

— Mon, Jul 31, 2006 —

??? It's not every day we get Penelope Cruz in a bikini. Thrilling, even if it's the least flattering bathing suit possible. [Celebitchy]

??? Typical Madonna, talking something fun, like vodka, and doing something lame with it, like washing her clothes. [A Socialite's Life]

??? Nick Lachey roughed up a teenager for trying to take a camera phone picture of the singer. You'd think he would be happy to ad another click to his ticker. [WWTDD]

??? Tori Spelling and her husband are promised free porn for life, gauranteeing that said husband never actually has to think about Tori while they're doin' it. [Faded Youth]

??? Was being forced out of the closet by a controlling boyfriend the best thing that ever happened to Lance Bass or the best thing that ever happened to Lance's boy toy's book sales? [DListed]

??? Tara Reid needs a new make-up artist. Baby steps, people. [PopSugar]

— Fri, Jul 28, 2006 —

??? No need for tanning oil when Brandon Davis is around, eh Nicky Hilton? [DListed]

??? Maybe things are that bad for Tori Spelling, she's selling her 90210 steez tube dress on eBay. [Bricks and Stones]

??? What price Sarah Jessica Parker skin cells? Well, $15.75 I guess. Jack Black's feces? A cool $92. [CityRag]

??? Katharine McPhee is well enough to meet the president and cohost the View, just not well enough to share a dressing room with that Kellie Pickler bitch. [A Socialite's Life]

??? Fake Paris Hilton will pose in Playboy so men everywhere can take off their glasses and prop up the magazine a few feet away to masturbate. [Jossip]

??? Is it just me, or is Justin Timberlake trying to drown that little girl? [JustJared]

— Wed, Jul 26, 2006 —

I was going to basically just ignore the story I linked to earlier of Tori Spelling getting less than $1 Million from her father's fortune, but these photos of Tori and hubby Dean at a Pawn Shop and Dollar Store in Ottowa this weekend are too funny. I wouldn't put it past Tori to stage these photos as a publicity stunt, but if not I wonder what she's looking to pawn off. Tori's non-heritance is US Weekly's cover story so here's what they have to say about it:

Despite reports that Tori Spelling would inherit millions from her father???s $500 million estate, Us has learned exclusively that the actress, 33, will get just 0.16 % of the Spelling fortune. Tori???s share ??? a cash inheritance payment of $200,000, combined with approximately $600,000 in private investments her dad set up for her ??? is a brush-off Aaron Spelling would never have intended for his only daughter, says a family source.

???I believe Candy had a lot to do with what was left for Tori,??? the source says of Tori???s mother, who is sole managing executor of the estate. (Candy???s rep had no comment.)

While $800,000 is no paltry sum, it's certainly not enough to take care of Tori for the rest of her life. Well, here's to Season Two (and three, and four, and however many they'll give her) of So NoTORIous.

??? John Travolta. Print. Tape on fridge. Never eat again. Voila. Miracle Diet. [CityRag]

??? Gwen Stefani is wearing this dress to cover up baby weight. What's your excuse, Paris? [Faded Youth]

??? My question is, what are they doing with the once-used toilet seats that Madonna insists are changed every single night. I smell eBay spree. [A Socialite's Life]

??? David Arquette should chill on the paparazzi attacking, it's okay that we see him when he's not dressed like an a-hole. [The Superficial]

??? In the neverending quest for the perfect puffy shirt, Nicole Kidman has a close runner up to Jerry's pirate blouse. [I'm Not Obsessed]

??? Donna Martin gets the shaft. [DListed]

— Mon, Jul 24, 2006 —

Tonight is the premiere of Bravo's new series, Tabloid Wars, about life working for the New York Daily News, and this clip gives us a taste of what we're in for. It looks a lot like my glamorous life, really, only I never flirt with the idea of fruit-tini's. Also, I don't demand drinks from women who aren't actually working for the bar. Also, I barely leave my apartment. I am known to wear pink Polo shirts, however, so it's a pretty spot on facsimile.

— Fri, Jul 21, 2006 —

??? Natasha Lyonne lives! But really, is a life without crack really worth living at all? [US Weekly]

??? Contrary to rumors, Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey are not getting married yet. Wonder which one is the committment phobe. [A Socialite's Life]

??? Naomi Campbell did not get arrested this week. And by "did not" I mean "totally did." [Celebrity Nation]

??? Tori Spelling is even more rich, bitch. [Celebitchy]

??? Save Sienna Miller from the human stain that is Jude Law. Since Katie has been a lost cause for a while now. [I'm Not Obsessed]

??? Madonna is sick of Guy Richie's sperm, plans to adopt. [DListed]

??? Jessica Simpson chooses Dane Cook to co-host the Teen Choice Awards, party in her pants. [WWTDD]

??? The Angelina Jolie nose job rumors have been around for a while now. You look at the comparison and decide. I refuse to believe my personal Mother Teresa would do something like that to me. [CityRag]

??? A Colin Farrell stalker somehow got her ass to the Tonight Show yesterday. I hope she stood in line for tickets just like the rest of the audience. No special treatment for crazies. [IDLYITW]

— Tue, Jul 18, 2006 —

??? A picture of Suri Cruise! Or someone has decent Photoshop skills, either way. [PITNB]

??? Paris Hilton's Bigfoot-esque qualities lead me to believe she sould retire to the woods for a while. [CityRag]

??? While the jury's still out on the acceptability of Cindy Crawford's bralessness, I'm more worried about that god awful hat. [X17]

??? The Firecrotch name lives on, at least in Paris Hilton's vernacular. [Defamer]

??? In case you're too lazy to seek out nude Denise Richards photos online (hint: it's not too hard), she'll be posing again, this time for charity. [A Socialite's Life]

??? Enter the contest to design Janet Jackson's new album cover, but you should probably stay away from any and all wardrome malfunction shots. [Faded Youth]

??? Jennifer Aniston wants a Friends reunion. Aw, honey, even Matt LeBlanc thinks that sounds a little desperate. [Popwatch]

??? Tori Spelling swings her implants on down to Broadway. [Celebrity Nation]

— Wed, Jul 5, 2006 —

Not one to waste any time with pleasantries, Candy Spelling is supposedly putting the infamous Spelling Mansion on the market for a cool $150 Million. Clearly there will be hordes of buyers clammoring to place bids, because who doesn't need separate rooms for the doll collection and gift-wrapping? I can barely stand having to keep my shoes in the same room as my sweaters, let alone the dolls and the tissue paper. TMZ has the story:

Sources in the real estate industry say Westside Estate Agency (WEA) has a pocket listing on the 56,000 square foot estate, meaning it is is quietly being shopped among realtors and select buyers. The mansion, located in the exclusive Holmby Hills area of L.A., was completed in 1991 for around $47 million, which includes $10 million for the land.

One real estate source says Candy Spelling has let a lot of people on the staff go and that the buzz is that she is going to shut the house down so it can be shown by realtors.

Aaron Spelling passed away two weeks ago, so, it seems like about the right about of time to grieve, asses the value of the house, and prepare to sell the shit out of it, right? I like to think Candy's just trying to amass as much money as possible so it stings that much more when she doesn't let Tori have any of it.

— Thu, Jun 29, 2006 —

??? Egotastic is still fighting the good fight regarding Teri Hatcher's breasts: they're real, but they're not spectacular. [Egotastic]

??? You'd think Tommy Lee vs. Josh Duhamel would go to Duhamel. You would be wrong. [Faded Youth]

??? Jessica Simpson's breasts and Jessica Alba's ass reign supreme. Though maybe Simpsons breasts will have to fight it out with Johansson's to see who really wins. [WWTDD]

??? Meni Suvari pumping gas in revealing work out clothes. Apparently she's been spending more time on her body than her career. [Celebitchy]

??? EEEEE, more Project Runway new season shots. So. Excited. [JustJared]

??? There's A-List and then there's B-List and then there's don't-dress-like-an-a-hole-just-because-your-tv-show-is-over, Beverly Mitchell. [Celebutaint]

??? Tori Spelling's not afriad to drag her mother's name through the mud while talking about her father's death. [A Socialite's Life]

— Wed, Jun 28, 2006 —

??? Kate Moss could probably walk into the main offices of Burberry, blow lines off the presidents desk, and they would still rehire her for their ad campaign. She's just that good. [Teddy & Moo]

??? Johnny Depp wanted to bring a homosexual edge to his Pirates of the Carribean character. Since, ya know, the eye make-up and copious jewlery weren't enough. [WWTDD]

??? Jen and Vince are on the rocks. Or engaged. Or Jen is getting back together with Brad. Or we're all gulliable and will read and believe anything. [Celebitchy]

??? So when Tori Spelling said she reconciled with her father before his passing, she was just, sort of making it all up. Class act that broad. [DListed]

??? I always thought there was something familiar about Britney's Lauer interview look, I could just never put my finger on it...[Happy Birthday CityRag]

— Sat, Jun 24, 2006 —

Television producer and Hollywood icon Aaron Spelling passed away yesterday after suffering a stroke on the 18th. He was 83 years old. Spelling left an indelible mark on the television world with his hit series such as Charlie's Angels, Dynasty, Beverly Hills 90210, and Melrose Place. This is, of course, only a tiny taste of what Spelling accomplished. Everyone has a special place in their heart for at least one of Spelling's projects. My thoughts are with his children Tori and Randy, and 90210 fans everywhere.


— Mon, Jun 19, 2006 —

It was a night to be remembered by Hollywood's B-Listers. (Okay, C...or maybe D? Do these people even get to be on any list at all?) Canada's MuchMusic Video Awards took place in Toronto last night, and boy did it look thrilling. There were performances by Nick Lachey, Fall Out Boy, Rihanna, Nelly Furtado, I don't know, possibly some other people. As you can see, blogger Perez Hilton was there, so there's that. Somehow Paris Hilton stumbled across the event, I'm not sure how, it must have been a mistake of some sort. There's more information and pictures of the beautiful people here, in the meantime I'm going to think of ways to make Paris' swag sweatshirt more funny.

Club Nicole Richie not seals.
Club Med gave me crabs not seals.
Clubs with single stall bathrooms are better for doing blow in not seals.

I'll keep working...

— Tue, Jun 13, 2006 —

This is the sleepwear Tori Spelling puts on when she wants to send her new hubby the no nookie tonight signal. An inpenetrable fortress of satin which not only is the first outfit worn by Tori Spelling that does not show her crater cleavage since she had those funbags installed, but is a jumpsuit cinched shut at all openings. Most importantly, however, it is unflattering to the point of uncontrollable impotence for all men in the vicinity.

The Lizzie Grubman-do isn't helping.

Also, she totally looks preg.


— Mon, May 29, 2006 —

??? Britney Spears pauses for a moment, imagines Kevin Federline's ass kicked to the curb, smiles. [PopSugar]

??? Jennifer Lopez is now hanging out with Leah Remini? Remember when J-Lo was A List? How the mighty have fallen. [Bombasticluva]

??? Denise Richards has baggage. A lot of baggage. [PITNB]

??? Gotta love a good herpes heavy conspiracy theory as to why all Hollywood moms have C-Sections. [WWTDD]

??? Tori Spelling is knocked up. There had to be a reason for that shotgun wedding. [Teddy & Moo]

??? Paris may have had better seats than Lindsay Lohan at a Madonna show, but whose seats were closer to the bathroom? [Faded Youth]