Today, new allegations charge that impulsive e-mailer Charlie “Mean John” Sheen was once the owner of a $6,000 sex doll. A proud owner, in fact, for he once brought the thing – clad in a cheerleader outfit – to the set of his old show, Spin City. On another occasion, Sheen even tried to convince two women to have a foursome with him and the doll. Surprisingly, his request that the ladies have bisexual sex with him, each other and an inanimate fuck doll did not go over well.
“They couldn’t stop laughing at him,” says the snitch. “Charlie got so mad that he ran the girls out of his house. Then he took a meat cleaver and chopped one of the doll’s hands off. He and his bodyguard tried to dispose of it, like it was a real body. They wrapped it in a blanket and drove around in the middle of the night till they found a dumpster.”
Why Sheen mutilated the doll before disposing of it, the world may never know. Her latex, abused body was never recovered, and Sheen remains a free man. Is there no more justice for sex dolls?
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that wacky charlie! these poor girls are fucked with him as a dad and denise as a mom. yeah, just call me captain obvious.
captain obvious to the rescue! I’d put my money down that Charlie is not the only celebrity with a real doll. Or formerly with rather.
Hey, Captain Obvious, are you related to capt. underpants? Get me an autograph, would ya?
I think those two should be forced to remarry so they don’t inflict their crazy on more innocent people.
nope, don’t know captain underpants. they should just get charlie and denise spayed and nuetered, it helps control the pet population.
i second that notion.
Don’t forget to spay and neuter your crazy clebrities.
they need to get bob baker to do a commerical on that.
bob barker…stupid fucking finger don’t want to do what my brain is telling them to do.
stop hatin’ y’all! he’s living life to the fullest!
the sad thing in all this is that i had a kinda crush on denise richards after seeing ’starship troopers’ about 50 times in the theatre. i was 16 but still…i have fond memories of her before she married this train-wreck.
i give sheen one more month before he hooks up with paris hilton and the city of los angeles throws itself into the pacific to get away from them.
I’m giving in to my typos today. I figure if I get at least a few letter right than people can figure the rest out.
Oh. My. God.
With apologies to Whodini…
The freaks come out at night
The freaks come out at night
The freaks come out at night
(the freaks come out)
The freaks come out at night
spayed, neutered, and euthanized….ok…maybe a bit extreme. Especially because I completely support sexual openness. If Bostock wants to fuck a sex doll, as long as the sex doll consents, who am i to judge.
do we have proof that the doll consented? what if he drugged her?
He cut off the hands so they couldn’t identify the doll’s fingerprints.
Oh James. Do you think it’s even safe to tempt fate like that by even putting that combination out in the universe? Did you not see, The Day After?
Just to make sure I’m talking about the apolcolypse movie and not, The Morning After, with Jane Fonda. It’s easy to get them confused.
So when I was in middle school all the girls on my swimteam shaved the bottom half of their heads. I, of course, was all about it. I fancied it up by cutting chunks out like Rickey “Wild Thing” Vaugn. My brother sucked and only cut out like one chunk - so it looked lame. But I knew then what Tyra tries to teach now - work it, even if it’s wrong. Yeah I meant to have my hair like this, it’s feee-us!
your hair is like feces? ew lisa!
juju, i don’t know the day after but i’m lookin it up…i’m a sci-fi fan so i can’t believe i’ve never heard of it.
Wow he’s really the king of unflattering revelations- move over Oscar De La Hoya! Tomorrow Denise Richards will reveal that during their marriage Charlie had the nasty habit of falling down stairs while having uncontrollable flatulence, exposing himself and beating the dog with a shoe.
j_b, starship troopers???????????????????????????????? oh boy, you are a sci-fi fan.
Too bad he didn’t do the same thing to Denise Richards.
I mean, not the threesome thing. No one wants that. But the body disposal? That would’ve saved us all a lot of grief.
It is the most awesome/worst apocolypse movie there is. 1983, so you know the special effects rocked.
And if that wasn’t enought. This movie stars two of my favorites. Jobeth Williams and, wait for it………….THE GUTTE!
Only the truest of true GUTTE HEADS knows this.
PS, are we sure the blow up doll wasn’t, Denise? She kind of resembles one. And I like that about her.
shes got fish lips.
And enlarged nostrils.
You know, I have pouffy lips but not like Angelina pouffy. I always hated them but they took focus of my schnoz. Who knew decades later people would pay good money to look like they got punched in the mouth.
“mae says:
j_b, starship troopers???????????????????????????????? oh boy, you are a sci-fi fan.”
you woulda liked it if one of the bugs was played by mae west. i love starship…it’s one of my fav movies of all time…top three. maybe number one.
juju…thanks for the tip. i’ll download that fucker…i love end-of-the-world stuff…crappier the better.
i love that in each thread, there are three or four simultaneous conversations and they’re all very harmonious and make no sense. i love you guys!
Most people can only handle one or two conversations. We are ambisexual like that. I made that word up but I like it.
You will love that movie. Tell me after you watch it and all it’s mutant goodness.
j_b: I’ve seen starship, oh yes. juju, i think i’ve seen that movie. nothing takes the cake as far as awesome special effects quite like “close encounters of the third kind”
LOL, I know. I remember when I was a kid thinking Close Encounters and ET were just the most cutting edge stuff ever.
I rewatched them about 5 years ago and I was pretty sure they weren’t even the same movies. Then again, I thought Xanadu was kick ass. I watched that a few years ago and realized it was the crappiest movie ever. I still like the music and rollerskates.
Has anyone here seen Return to Oz? and if so, were you terrified by it as much as I was?
Just wondering…
faruiza balk…is that her name yourmom? what happened to her…i loved return to oz and that movie she did about teen witches…god, it’s all a mish-mash in my head. i don’t even remember the titles.
I haven’t seen it. I think the best “horror” movie from the late 70s has to be the Sleepaway Camp trilogy. Those movies were hilarious!
YES. I wish I could remember the movies. There have been quite a few I watched and thought, WTF, why did my parent’s let me watch this. That was one of them.
the craft, j_b
I LOVED Fairuza, as well as Debi Mazar, who is still around I guess… The Craft was awesome
Is Gutte Steve Guttenburg?
I think you mean THE GUTTE!
“the craft”…that’s it! it’s no starship troopers but it’ll do.
debi mazar is on “entourage” adequite. she’s awesome…she plays to type on entourage as a ball-breaker.
sleep away scared me (the end)
scariest movie i have ever seen? mad for tv: session 9. scares the hell outta me.
also return to oz scared the hell outta me - who calls that a children’s movie?!?!!? that and ET
Right! THE GUTTE! Is it?
The Changling was scariest movie I have ever seen. George C Scott. Carrie & the Shining are pretty frickin scary too.
We don’t know if he approves but I think he would. Don’t let him tie you to the bed and tell you he’s going out for, “little sandwhiches”. You ake him get the sandwhiches first.
Ohhhh no. THe Changeling was hella freaky. Ohh, anybody remember, Audrey Rose?
Audrey Rose scared the piss otta me too. When she was in the car……..ooooooohhhhhhh man!
don’t know any of these except “carrie”. carrie is awesome y’all.
I LOVE scary movies…never seen the Changeling though, will have to check it out. I like Silence of the Lambs (fava beans and liver and chianti, yum…), the Descent, and Blair Witch.
Children of the Corn scared the piss out of me when I was younger and I still can’t watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original)
OMG. James!!!!!!!! Your homeworks this weekend is to rent all these movies and watch them. I don’t care how drunk you need to get to do it.
Put, THe Omen, on that list. That kid WAS the devil.
Carrie kind of reminds me of BritBrit.
rent session 9 (it takes place in the defunked danvers assylum) i dont know why it scares me so, but it really does PLUS David Caruso is in it.
Also, Halloween… i love halloween
i’ve seen “the omen”. both the original and the remake. i thought both were good. my problem is i know my movies from the 30’s to the 50’s and from the late 80’s to now but not in between.
oh and the exorcist - i still get nighmares
Children of the corn y’all. That movie scared the piss out of me. Oh, and the Good Son. Macaulay Culkin plays creepy kid super well. He plays creepy adult well, too.
You know what? Thinking about some of the early Disney Movies. They were hella freaky. Remember, Return to Witch Mountain and, Watchers In The Woods? Freaky stuff people.
Ok how about the Bad Seed? RHODA!!!! Or the one with Robert Mitchum LOVE/HATE on his knuckles…ugh scared me!
Caruso scares the hell out of me. Just mention, naked Caruso and I start crying. Amityville still gets me.
oooh…bad seed is awesome. that little girl was freaky! she was interviewed on turner classics recently…it was strange watching her all grandma-like. that movie was real creepy and explicit for a 1950’s film.
I loved the Bad Seed and the Birds 1/2.
Uhhhhhhhhhh, the birds. Tippi Hedren is perfection. Did anybody see, Marnie? That movie was pretty sexy for back in the day. She and Sean Connery were just the hotness.
I have an obsession with old movies
Sean Connery is still the hotness.
I second that mae…he’s sexy personified
Mmmmmmmm, Connery. He’s always been so sexy. He is, Bond. I like some of the other Bonds. But nobody does it better. Makes me feel bad for the rest. Nobody does it half as good as Sean. Why’d he have to be so good?
I agree, I wouldn’t want to be a Bond girl unless Connery was Bond… Okay, who am I kidding? I would prefer Connery being Bond.
I just can’t be a Bond Girl in a bikini. That ship has sailed.
I would be the Bond sandwich between Connery and Craig…naked and hold the mayo please
Anbody but Pierce.
Ugh his hairyness…yuck
Pierce was the hotness as Remington Steele. I will always be loyal.
connery was hot. he was a walking sex machine in the old bond films…especially when he stripped down to that tight, gold swimming short. yum. thank god for daniel craig who’s finally got the sexyback. craig is ugly but hot ugly. so hot ugly. sorta like your fantasy prison rapist.
j_b, you’ve seen Layer Cake, right? Because as long as we’re suggesting movies for you to see…
Craig was hotness in Layer Cake…good plot and I can actually stomach Sienna in that one
While discussing movies…I’m hoping the Jesse James flick makes it out to all theaters, I think it looks surprisingly good
yeah…i saw layer cake. it was good…loved that sienna got it in the end. it made me all warm. craig was also in that capote movie…i saw it on showtime recently. it was the one without that hoffman guy and the one that wasn’t called capote, LOL. i forget the title. but he has a scene where he kisses capote and at one point almost rapes him…the capote actor was a troll but it was still so, so hot.
not that rape in general is hot. it’s only ok if brad pitt or daniel craig are raping you.
I heard Jesse James is long. I have trouble with the long ass movies. I was begging for Leo to finally die in, Titanic. SHe should have f’in dropped his frozen ass long before those rescue boats arrived. I’ll never let go my left one.