Hamster whaaaaat!
*shakes hand to make finger snaps*

janice that is exactly the way I read it!

Hamster what? Hamster who?

That dead hamster is hella cute. I like this post. A lot. Probably more than I should.

When I was a kid I got 2 little baby hamsters and put them in a cage together. The next day I went downstairs to check on my little hamsters and they killed each other, like brutally ripped each other apart! Who new hamsters couldn't coexist peacefully? I didn't, that's for sure.

i dare somebody to get the hamster tattooed on their butt.

Whoa silent noodles - that is a rough way to learn about life/death. Didn't realize they were like the Tetra fish. Although they don't only attack others, they attack their own reflection too. I would think Hamsters are more peaceful.
This post is funny, yet sad Whitney!! Love it!!

One time I left my window open on a particularly cold night and my mouse froze; all night he was frantically running along his wheel, I even got up and hit the cage to get the lil guy to give it a rest. And give it a rest he did. For all eternity…dun dun dun dun.

I got over it.

This is my favorite post ever. I just wish he would have wrote " hamster WTF? "

Once, I was going to go swimming with my friend. My dad insisted that Fluffy (shut up, I was 7) get some fresh air. I told my dad that it was probably unsafe that he put the cage out where all of the neighborhood cats could attack him. He said that he knew what he was doing.
When I came back, Fluffy died of heat stroke.
For the next three years, my brothers would come to my room at night and whisper "Why did you kill me?? Why did you kill Fluffy?! Why did you cook me in the sun?" You would cry every night, too.

ilnazhad I have a similar story where my dad insisted I keep our pet guinea pigs in the "playroom" which was actually an attic. One day it got really hot in the attic and my 2 guinea pigs died of heat stroke. I remember being pretty upset about that, apparently we weren't the best pet owners.

Well, at least the little hamster seems to have died happy.

I don't want to steal little Whitney Little's thunder, but I wrote the post over at Queerty. Little lives on the UES, where hamsters don't die. I live in Brooklyn where, sadly, the little critters don't have very long life expectancies. But, yes, seem to die happy.

yeah, those UES hamsters don't know what it's like in the hood. they get to go to all the best food bowls; they don't know what it's like to die in the vet's office. word.

Given that I live off the L, my hamster totally wears AA Shiney leggings in Lame Black. ((That NEVER gets old!))

My friend moved, and when she was cleaning out her closet, she found the body of her hamster she thought had run away months earlier. What was disturbing was that is didn't disturb her at all.

Whitney, that made my day. I don't know why a child's oddly stated grief over their dead hamster made me smile, but it did.

ilnazhad: Since I first found out you were in high school I thought you were probably one of the most intelligent, well adjusted young women I'd encountered in a long time. I still do, but now I wonder how you've remained so well adjusted…and why you killed Fluffy…

i love this, but the post makes it seem like it's written by whitney. shouldn't there be a "From Queerty:" in the beginning or something? i know the post links to the original, but i mean, for the sake of clarity maybe.

Thank you, Lily! I've always loved your comments because they are interesting, but never mean. You're fun and critical. And I wish I was like that.

How do I stay so well-adjusted? Well, whenever I get frustrated, I mellow out with my pet hamsters. I admit it. Fluffy and I were smoking pot like we do every Tuesday. He had so much he forgot to breathe.

You forced it out of me. I killed Fluffy. But he died happy. Fuck, I want to die high and eating blackberries and then go to Hamster Heaven. Hamsters get to carry food around in their cheeks for days and eat their own babies without being judged. People keep looking at me funny when I consume my children. I can't wait until Obama finally brings democracy back.