Italy's Zach Braff (also Anne Hathaway's boyfriend), Raffaello Follieri, is now firmly in the sights of the Clinton hit squad after reportedly swindling off more than he could launder in a shady deal that included everyone's favorite scumbags: politicians, church officials and greedy, greedy dickheads.

…Mr. Follieri struck his deal with the investor. A Yucaipa partnership where Mr. Clinton served as a senior adviser formed a joint venture with the Follieri Group. Yucaipa agreed to invest as much as $100 million into the venture to buy church properties for redevelopment as mixed-income housing units, community centers and retirement facilities, among other things.

Mr. Follieri moved his business operation into leased office space on Park Avenue. He employed Filipino nuns as receptionists and installed a small altar in one room, according to people who visited the office. He began renting an "extremely costly" penthouse, complete with a staff that included an executive chef, the Yucaipa lawsuit says. Although it was supposed to be for the joint venture, Mr. Follieri moved his personal effects there and appeared to take up residence, the suit says.

To be exact, this "'extremely costly' penthouse" was being leased for a disgusting $40,000-a-month.

Unlike this messy maze itself, the end result is quite simple: "Mr. Follieri is now searching for new investors." Good luck with all that.