The only people still talking about Clay Aiken's coming out are Clay Aiken and his crazed Claymates (and now us). The singer took to his fan site to speak out about his People magazine cover and assure those crazy Bible thumpers that he's still the same ol' G.

We'll post the full diatribe after the jump, but for those of you who don't care enough to take three hours to read it, we'll sum it up for you: Clay somehow panders to his few "OMG this changes everything" fans without sounding hateful or condescending. We are slowly starting to respect this man-child more and more for the things he has to say on the gay issue — his thoughts are eloquent and moving. There's few people who can speak to those who absolutely believe all homosexuals are going to hell without causing some sort of riot, and Clay is one of them. Bravo.

Killing the elephants in the room.

What a week or so this has been. In fact, it's just been two weeks since I started back to the Spam. Jerome and I were just talking the other day, though, about how the past two weeks have felt like a month. So much routine to get back into and yet so much routine and consistency to break. No doubt, many of you have been going through quite a bit over the past week or so yourselves. What a bunch of headline news we have had in the past 10 days! Wall Street falling to it's knees. Congress propping it back up. Two debates. Hijackers in Somalia. New leaders in South Africa and Japan. You'd think with all of the important events going on in the world, there would be plenty to fill up the pages of America's newspapers, websites and blogs without the need for information on the private lives of the country's singers and entertainers. But, alas, thats never the case. In fact for the last five years, I've found what seems to have been an inordinate amount of interest (not from the public, but from the media) in my own personal life. The questions never seemed to stop. Oh sure, they die down for a period, but they resurface. The wind blows another direction, and I do yet another interview worried that my personal life will become a topic of discussion. No doubt the birth of Parker would bring the same scrutiny, just heightened. It's an interesting time we live in. Gone are the days when entertainers could go about their lives without the invasion of privacy that we now see everyday in the form of paparazzi and internet tabloid bloggers. So, in the hopes of being able to sing and act (and dance poorly) and do what I love to do for a living while raising my son in a hopefully more private and accepting environment, I chose to go ahead and confront things head on. Yes, I would have preferred to separate my personal life from my professional life. I would have been just as happy to go on without discussing my orientation. But, it seems like that was not an option. Make no mistake, its not because I am ashamed. No, not for a minute. I haven't always been as comfortable as I am now, but I am without a doubt, proud of who I am and make no apologies for it. Instead, I would have been happy to have kept my personal life private for that very reason. Because it's personal life and I have always considered myself a private person. But, living as myself without discussing my sexuality publicly would have been as impossible. One chance to expose the truth would have been a payday for any greedy opportunist.

I went to American Idol, much like many of us did "back in the day". Naive. Unlike the contestants who join up today, we had no idea of the power and pull of Idol when we signed on. (I'm sure many of us season two folks like to think we are the reason the show got so big!!! ;-) ) There I was two months off of the biggest show in the country, sitting at a table with a reporter from Rolling Stone who was asking me every single question I would never think of. Twenty-four years old in the rest of America is a LOT younger and more naive than twenty four years old in the media business. So when this guy started asking me about things that I didn't really know how to answer for myself… things that I was not yet ready to admit to folks like my mother and my family…. things that I found intimidating and invasive, I responded in what I assumed was a benign way at the time. I attempted to "out spin" a professional. I wasn't as good as I thought I was. But, I have no regrets. The truth is, I don't apologize for the responses I gave to that reporter or any reporter over the past five years. I did make every attempt I could after that one interview to never say "I am not gay" or "I am straight". And I never said either. (some interpreted my vague answers to mean that… but I never said either) Some will say thats misleading. In truth, it might be defined that way. But, a better definition and a more accurate way to describe it for me, is a redirection and an attempt to change the topic to something that matters more. For some of you it won't be enough, but I can't apologize for keeping my personal business to myself. If someone feels that they were mislead, I can totally understand that viewpoint and apologize for that feeling, but I can't apologize for how I handled questions that affected me and my right to privacy.

In my opinion, sexual orientation is ALWAYS a private thing. I think the OVERWHELMING majority of people agree with that. Why in the world should someone's sexual orientation be a news item? Why should anyone care? Yet, for all we espouse as a society about tolerance and open mindedness we forget to allow folks the opportunity to be who they are without judgement. Making a decision to come out to family is a difficult and heavy decision. But, for every young man or woman who is struggling with it, it should be a decision that is made on his or her own schedule ONLY. It's never acceptable for anyone to make such a decision for anyone else nor to coerce someone to take such a significant step before they are ready. Not a friend, not a stranger, not the media. So, I waited until the time was right for me. For that I can't apologize either.

There are plenty of you who have anticipated this blog in hopes that I would "set the record straight" or "admit to lying for five years and apologize for it". For that small group of people, I am afraid I will have to disappoint you. My decisions over the past five years have been made with lots of deliberation and at times even heartache. Always with concern for folks who might feel mislead. Don't doubt that. But they have also been made as an attempt, not to hide my true self, but instead to allow myself the same liberties and rights that every single gay man and woman in the world should have… the right to determine for myself when I was ready to discuss my personal life. In as much as that, at times, was interpreted as misrepresentation, I feel badly. But I reserved that right for myself and I can't say I regret it.

I have endeavored over the past several days to allow folks to vent and express themselves as freely as possible without restriction on these message boards. There is no way to change a person's mind when you tell them they are wrong. We all, when backed into a corner, have a human instinct to swing. Having different feelings and opinions and viewpoints are only natural. The only way to deal with that is to accept everyone's right to disagree, and allow them to discuss their feelings. I always have, and I always will. That said, it hasn't been, nor do I imagine it will be, my intent to make the message boards or the OFC a clearinghouse or discussion zone for sexuality or such topics. I hope we can always continue to discuss the same things we have always found important. The need for inclusion for children with disabilities. The desire to make sure every child in the world has access to their basic needs for survival. And any other topics that will make our neighborhoods, our regions, our country and our world a better more acceptable place (where that relates to issues involving sexuality, I hope we are able to advocate, at those times for the acceptance of others)… and I hope we will all still use the message boards for the lively discussion of the need for better entertainment and music in the world!!!! ;-) That said, as of this posting, I have asked the moderators to archive the thread regarding the People magazine article and close it from discussion. For those of you who are still struggling, I encourage you to continue to talk to your friends and neighbors and fellow OFC members in the thread devoted to such support. It is not going to be as easy as accepting something over night, but I believe that we are on the right track. The moderators will resume their regular duties of moderating the boards in the fashion that they did prior to last week, and I (and hopefully all of us) will resume our routines in the same fashion as well. Talking about music, talking about potential tours and other performances and appearances, talking about me forgetting my lines of tripping on stage in Spamalot, and discussing with our friends how many times we have seen the show and will see it! (And… looking forward to the announcement of out Playbill contest winner!!!)

Finally, I will say that, also representative of most every other gay man and woman in the world, that I am not defined by my sexuality. No more so than each of you are defined by your sexual orientation. No more than a man or woman is defined by race or ethnicity. It is, simply, a small facet of the same person I have always been. Most of you realize that nothing has changed. I hope to continue being able to entertain you in the same way I have for the past five years. And I hope you will allow me to continue to inform you of the causes that I find important and entertain you with the music and performances I love. For I love and cherish you all. Yesterday, now and forever.

c

Oct 6, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 29 Responses
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Comments (29)

No. 1 Reba Rae says:

im so mad at clay!!!i have all his recordes and i been tohim at conserts many times and has his pitcures on my wall in the livingroom!!!and now i gone and tore tehm alldown becusae he LYED to all us!!!i dnot care what he says any more bescuae of the LYES!!!im crying when iam tpying this i am so mad!!!

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 10:40 am
No. 2 say what? says:

glad to see you back, Reba…what pearls of wisdom do you have for us today?

:rubbing hands in anticipation:

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 10:54 am
No. 3 stopthemadness says:

reba rae has got to be a hag. i'm on to you reba rae! reba mae, perhaps?

it's too hilarious to not be a joke.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 10:56 am
No. 4 sar says:

I say - not a hag. I say Reba Rae is a random commenter who found a funny and ran with it. Final answer, reeg.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 11:01 am
No. 5 say what? says:

STM, I thought it was Stoney, but she denied it.

good stuff, tho…

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 11:01 am
No. 6 jay says:

I don't really consider that a diatribe nor pandering, really. I think he just laid it all out there and said, hey take me as I am or not, but this is what it is. And he did it with some compassion, yet he certainly didn't sound contrite, defensive, nor apologetic, excepting for allowing that he feels bad some feel like they do. Got to give him props. The thing is, some of the shit some of those said about him had to have been tough to read…being the Anti-Christ, you are burning in hell, just don't act on your feelings and you'll be saved. Shit, that would make me want to smack a bitch.:-) He handled it well. He's much more evolved than many that "read but don't comprehend". I like that he supports great causes, too.

Anyway, I thought he covered it well. Kudos.

What I find amusing is that he has some very progressive supporters….it's just the vocal, Bible thumping ones we all run into in every frickin' aspect of our lives that get the notice. I wish those that condemn would practice a little of their vaunted compassion. Guess that's tought to do when you are closed off.

YMMV

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 11:05 am
No. 7 poo says:

Okay, I have to confess since I accidentally outed myself in a thread below.

It was fun.

But it was also the hardest writing I've ever done.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 11:12 am
No. 8 say what? says:

poo, I should have known.

only from your brilliant mind could we get something so delicious.

thank you for making us laugh!

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 11:17 am
No. 9 poo says:

Can Reba still stop by to visit once in a while? It gives her something to do besides watch Fox and bedazzle holiday sweaters for the craft show.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 11:18 am
No. 10 sar says:

Yeah like how Beyonce has that stage personality Mabel or whatever her name is? I think a lot of divas have named their stage persona. Do it, poo! You get in drag and Reba Rae it up.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 11:32 am
No. 11 sar says:

I had to look it up. Sasha, that's what Beyonce calls herself when she's performing.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 11:34 am
No. 12 stopthemadness says:

poo, great way to start the morning.

i guess i should go to work now.

RIP Reba Rae. We hardly knew ye.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 11:37 am
No. 13 Gina says:

He is a disgrace to Christianity! He should have not lied about it.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 11:40 am
No. 14 Rabble-unrouser says:

^teehee.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 11:52 am
No. 15 jay says:

Interesting commentary there, Gina. Sorta oxymoronic (moronic being the operative portion of that word) to condemn while espousing the tenants of a faith based on love. Hmmmm…think I'll take Clay's approach.;-)

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 11:57 am
No. 16 sar says:

you're going to be gay just to promote Christianity?

jay for a second i thought you were my brother - who reads queerty. but my brother doesn't know the word vaunted.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 12:01 pm
No. 17 stopthemadness says:

well said clay.

so he lied. can't he just say three hail marys and be saved? or redeemed?

"I AM FILLED WITH CHRIST'S LOVE!"

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 12:55 pm
No. 18 Stoney says:

I am not Reba Rae!

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 1:16 pm
No. 19 stopthemadness says:

stoney, poo is reba rae. she hath revealed herself.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 1:31 pm
No. 20 Danny says:

I love how all of the hundreds of articles on Clay all start out saying that no one is talking about it any more, except all of the hundreds that are still talking about it 2 weeks later.

Bravo Clay. You are a role model and a teacher, as always.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 1:36 pm
No. 21 MK says:

I am a fan of Aiken and am very happy that most fans are having no issue with Clay coming out, and that is how it should be. What Clay did (left his fan club message board open to ANY comments so people can work through things without getting edited) was brave. His words are wise. I hate that gay people have to feel like they need to hide. Its not fair. I say wtg Clay.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 2:29 pm
No. 22 stopthemadness says:

MK- I read "wtg Clay" in my head as "what the gay Clay".

go figure!!

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 3:41 pm
No. 23 sar says:

oh my god stm, that made my day. hahaha

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 4:22 pm
No. 24 Phoebe says:

This part bears repeating–

"Making a decision to come out to family is a difficult and heavy decision. But, for every young man or woman who is struggling with it, it should be a decision that is made on his or her own schedule ONLY. It's never acceptable for anyone to make such a decision for anyone else nor to coerce someone to take such a significant step before they are ready. Not a friend, not a stranger, not the media."

Clay was hounded about whether or not he was gay in nearly every interview he's done the past 5 years because of the media's obsessive need to lable everyone and put them in neat little boxes. No wonder Clay had to resort to Paxil for a time to deal with the constant scrutiny when he was trying to come to terms with who he is in the midst of huge overnight fame. He's endured being the gay whipping boy by every nasty internet blogger and late-night comic. Apparently in America, you're fair game for any insult if you are perceived to be gay. I really don't know how Clay managed to continue on with his career and keep such a great attitude through it all. I admire him and am glad he's not apologizing. You go, Clay!

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 6:29 pm
No. 25 Vanessa says:

I'm a Clay fan. His orientation does not make one bit of difference to me. Don't paint all Clay fans as bible thumpers. Yes there are some and I doubt they'll ever get over it. So be it. There are definitely some crazy fans too. But a great deal of the fans are supportive and very liberal. I think their are crazies in any singers fan base. I thought Clays blog was heartfelt and very real. I will continue to support him in all his endevors.

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 8:57 pm
No. 26 Katie says:

Can we talk about how cogent and grammatically correct he is? I didn't think celebrities were allowed to write properly, let alone eloquently, on the internet. This feels…wrong. I need Courtney Love, Myspace, and a gin and tonic STAT!

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 8:59 pm
No. 27 stopthemadness says:

katie, i'm not gonna lie… that totally crossed my mind.

:)

Posted: Oct 6, 2008 at 9:38 pm
No. 28 lolita matheson says:

For some of you who are amazed how eloquent Clay is let me tell you that is only one of many traits Clay has. We the fans know how smart and wonderful person he is. Clay reminded me of our late Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau who was a well sought bachelor in his day who married very late in his life, but while he was a PM the media was always assuming how many women he slept with and I qoute he said " Politics don't belong to the bedroom ". Like Clay he was a man of integrity. He will always be one of the few men I admire and Clay definetly is one of them. I am grateful for American Idol for it was that show that introduced Clay to the public. After Clay nobody else can compare no matter how good or better any of those Idols are.So for you people who is disappointed ff Clay being gay, you have no idea how lucky you are to cross his path.

Posted: Oct 9, 2008 at 3:56 pm
No. 29 leaner says:

Bravo Lolita!

He is so intelligent and wise beyond his years….aside from being a great singer, entertainer and humanitarian. Not to mention funny and quick witted.

Posted: Oct 10, 2008 at 10:49 pm
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