With her transition from rehab to Cokeland proving remarkably gentler than anyone imagined it could be, people have become bored with Lindsay Lohan and whatever it is she does when not mainlining vodka and blowing rails as long as rose stems. In case you forgot, she's an actress. Though those dreams may wither into nothingness after her next film, Dare to Love Me, hits theaters. Here's the strangely knowledgeable – and completely uninteresting – description from IMDB:
In the seedy underworld of 1920s Buenos Aires, Tango legend Carlos Gardel is involved in a torrid love affair with a prostitute and sees his life shattered when a bullet takes her life and pierces his own flesh. Remaining in his lung for the rest of his life, the bullet serves as an eternal reminder of his pain and loss. Finding his way to the exciting Paris of the 1930s, Carlos seduces the crowds with his enchanting voice, bringing Tango music as a liberating force to Europe. Amidst this backdrop of free-spirited decadence and corruption, a mysterious woman enters his life and changes him forever, turning his beautiful sorrow into a musical legend.
Nothing like a bomb to kick-start a dormant vice. Good luck, kid!
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Editor
So what does Lilo portray, pray tell? The prostitute (nah–too much of a stretch) the bullet, the lung, the musical genius, the mysterious woman or (GASP) the TANGO ITSELF?????? Perhaps all of the above? She is that gifted . . .
Yuck. I can't stand to look at her in those friggin tights.
It will be a huge hit in Argentina (Gardel is a national hero there). LL will move to Buenos Aires and become a star of Argentinian soap operas. Then she will marry an up-and-coming politician…
Tights and flats are not a good look on her. They make her legs look short and chunky and canklely and ooky and scary.
And they over accentuate her vaginal area. Keep that too yourself LHo.
I give her props for even attempting them. You couldn't get me to wear that outfit…
When you click on the thumbnails to get the enlarged pictures you can see through the fabric because it is stretched so tight.
Ohh, why did I click? I just want to talk to her about the leggings situation.
What's the deal with the handcuff necklace she is always wearing?
We should gain some brownie points with the master. After all, we proved him right…her movie sounds so crappy and boring no one wants to talk about it…only her poor over-accenuating wardrobe choices are worthy of mention.
I may go see it if I need some extra sleep time.
I love her handcuff necklace. Which makes me really mad cause I hate her…
My mom loves tango & I have forbidden her to see this movie. She'll see it anyway (damnit) but at least I tried…
Isn't spandex illegal now?
Don't be too quick to judge- the music world is giving Britney a decent score for her shitty new album, so maybe "The Tango After The Last Tango In Paris" won't be too bad.
If your measuring between bad and horribly bad. I'll give it a moderately bad.