I am so moving to Australia.

im thinking its the later. I absolutely do not believe that satan would lower himself to that filth. If he needs a child, he'll use Ann Colture as his vessel

Besides, Satan's busy monitoring the pregnancy he cooked up with Nancy Grace.

I loooove this picture. I can just picture her talking with an open mouth. Uhhh, yah, I'm sooooo orange today. I match yah firecrotch, yah, hawt.

Kitch, save me a spot in your Aussie compound.

So you're saying Dave Navarro or Chris Angel is going to father her spawn and it's going to be born in Vegas? I think she should have fraternal twins…one fathered by Chris and the other one by Dave. It couldn't get much more scumtastic than that…unless you make that triplets and Perez fathers the third. This has the makings of a Hollywood movie…

And the baby will wear an abnormal amount of crosses.

Oh, and it will be spray tanned.

do you think he/she will have born on bad eyeliner, or is that a skill passed down through the parents?

I think that's something that's passes on along with lessons on, how to, "accidentally" flash your lady bits.

Paris having Satan's evil spawn? It's less a Hollywood blockbuster than a Sci-Fi-meets-Lifetime crossover.

I'll wait till the next marathon to see it. I see Meredith Bakter playing Paris.

Baxter, whatever.

No way, it'll be that Willa Ford twit. Verne Troyer will play her creepy spawn. In the penultimate birthing scene, Verne will spring fully formed from her womb, ala Athena, but without the wisdom or suit of armor. The most important question of all is, will the daddy be:

a) Brandon Davis
b) Elliot Mintz
c) Tom Brady
d) Bobby Brown
3) Criss Angel

Where is the, all of the above, option? It will just burrow it's way out like in Alien. Is there some way to work in Carrot Top?

Erm, that 3) should read e). I'm getting all sassy on this post-FSU loss Tuesday.

Dude, Bobby Brown wouldn't sex Paris with Criss Angel's peen.

I say you'd have to throw Nachos in there as an option.

Nacho Libre?

Ok, him too, but I was referring to Stavros.

OK, here's a revised list:

a) Brandon Davis
b) Elliot Mintz
c) Tom Brady
d) Carrot Top
e) Kevin Federline
f) Spencer Pratt

I vote g) Paula Abdul.

Three of the people on that list are gay. Are we including insemination as a possibility?

naaaaaaaaaaaachoooooooooooooooooooooooo

the plus side to it burrowing out, is she'd be dead.

That list just made me the opposite of horny.

oooh its so gonna be brandon davis, becuase starvros would get kicked out of the will, but davis needs the $$

LOL, juju, I am with you.

Fuck, I left off option g) Larry Birkhead.

A menage withe Larry and Howard. There will be this huge court battle over the babies paternity. It's so original.

Rita Cosby is going to have a FIELD DAY with this…before she sells the rights to Sci-Fi/Lifetime.

What about Prince von Asphalt or whatever the hell his name is?

Actually, we've also failed to consider Reggie Bush as a possibility. Take THAT, Kardashian!

Oh, a terrible thought. You know Paris is going to want to record some songs for the soundtrack.

The alien inside me
My baby has 8 fathers
She knows what she did
The slammer of love

guys, this is a waste of time. She is going asexually reproduce and lay her eggs in some guys head to gestate.

April, I don't know whether to laugh or heave at that scenario. Really, I'm torn.

both,just not at the same time, you'll choke

Make sure if you laugh, don't pee yourself.

Is it going to be like that old episode of "The Twilight Zone" in which the earwig lays eggs in the dude's ear?

'Cause that'd make for some R-A-T-I-N-G-S, y'all. Can someone say November sweeps and play dates with Nicole's malformed baby?

That's why I make Kegel's a daily part of my workout routine. No leaky bladders on the evil twin.

And if you must pee, try to limit your TP consumption.

U no pee.

Alternatively, you could consider Depends. If you're really having a 1L-induced breakdown, you could go all nutty astronaut on your professors…without EVER buying toilet paper!

The day I get too lazy to stop and pee, nothing, that sounds pretty fun. I hope they are super absorbent so I don't miss any posts.

cait why would you mention that word.

shivers

Well, you could also go with a catheter if you're into the S&M thing.

If I see a catheter, I'm breaking out my safe word. That would be my line.

Oh Cord, see, you don't need to be picking on poor Ewan. You can always pick on this deserving twat, and you do such a good job at it. ;)

That has got to be Dave Navarro's Dad in the link. The gaybrows are a dead give away. Richard Grieco must be Satan's nephew. Now here's a thought…Grieco fathers Parasite's baby…I don't think anything is beneath him, and it could revive, excuse me, I meant "launch" his "career."

That Greico picture left me with nightmares. I finally got over them, thanks. I'm going to need more alcohol here.

Paris looks like a straight up hooker from the streets. Just saying…

I say Greasy bear is the only man alive with sperm brave and hard core enough to do the seeding deed in that vile nether region of Parasite..

Do you UNDERSTAND what your SAYING? Do you KNOW the kind of destruction that would HAPPEN if that SPERM enters that EGG?

I was just practicing my lines. I just finished my training at the William Shatner School For Overactors.

Here's a toothpick, juju, I think I see some scenery caught in your teeth.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND, scene.

I think she's jealous of Nicole.

kudos on all your posts today juju!

If I understand her correctly, and it can be pretty damn difficult, I think she's saying she wants to MAKE the baby next year. Even if she gets crackalackin in January, the incidental father won't be famous another 2 to 3 months. Too early to call without knowing the Papa Joe record label's lineup of young wannabes.

I think she is just jealous of Nichole as well. Common she doesn't even have a man that she is serious with at the moment unless there was something that came up in the past week that I have been out of commission.

Thank you my favorite Sar or Sar's. I wonder if once Nicole spawns, Paris will have a feud with it. That fetus knows what it did.

Common!! Now there's a man I would try to go veg for. You guys can keep MacGregor and Bale.

hahaha.

thanks sar, i will keep macgregor, in bedroom….

I don't think I could go veg. for any man. One fat weiner and I would be face first in the buns.