College, We Miss You
From today's Craig's List "Missed Connections":
Hi!
We were on the RED local line, I got on at 14th Street, you were already on the train. I got off at Columbia University 116th. Around 5PM. It was very crowded and you were behind me. We talked awkardly while you were still behind my back, pushed into each other. I told you I hate being an undergrad, we connected. You eneded up fingering me while no one else was noticing. I didn't get your full e-mail. If you see this, let me know. I hope you do! I miss you.
Hear that, guy? The strange coed you fingerbanged on the subway "misses" you. This means she's crazy. Nice job on the fake e-mail address, now keep your head down for the next three or four years and you should be fine.
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Oh holy crap, this is the funniest thing I've read all day.
Yeah, this is even better that Tyra crapping her fierce pants.
Wow. Just wow.
Great, now I will have to eye everyone suspiciously on every packed train I am on. I mean, how did no one else notice and be all, "Nasty, do you need some Purell?"
It makes you think twice about shaking a stranger's hand.
Also weird, she calls it the "red line" ala the Boston T, but is clearly riding the 1 in the NY subway. Maybe a transplanted, privileged, 18-year-old Bostonian, toying with the freedom of bohemian NYC college living? Run, Forrest, run!
It makes me wish I had teeth in my vagina. Go ahead, try and finger me, I'll bite your fist off. You know, in case it's, Stallone.
Fucking nasty, I'm glad it wasn't my red line she was talking about. I read this shit and feel like it has to be made up. I think I need to believe it's made up for my sanity. Then again a homeless dude whipped out his cock on the orange line and started jerking off next to my friend a few months ago so, I guess anything is possible.
Sorry Jill, my junk was itchy, I was rushing to sign the mortgage paperwork and your friend was sitting on my Penthouse (Forum) mag. Now I ask……what's a man to do? Write me on Craig's List if ya wanna hook-up.
Can we get some kind of blood test first?
By the way Jill, the connection I felt…….was something special. No pretenses between us, O.K. baby?
Yeah, and did this Miss Thing even see his face?
According to her, he was pressed up behind her the whole time. Meaningful connection.
Were his hands clean? What did his fingernails look like? Did he just diddle any other passengers before she got on?
Get them to at least buy dinner, first. Good Lord.
Fucking nasty.
Come on, qc, who's got time for that dinner shit? You just need to get in and get out.
On the other hand. I so would have loved to see the face of the person who had to take the order. I'm sure they are used to some pretty wacky shit.
Oh no doubt about it, that connection was strong.
I thought riding the red line meant her friend was in town