We thought people liked having their teeth in their heads and not passing out, but today, thanks to endless bureaucracy and its puppeteers, we’ve discovered that we were way wrong. According to the United Nations, people don’t like those things at all, but Amy Winehouse instead, which then leads them to like cocaine. Follow? Neither do we. But try:

The head of international body’s Drugs And Crime Office, Antonio Maria Costa, singled out the singer during his public attack on celebrity cocaine users.

“Rock stars, like Amy Winehouse become popular by singing: ‘I ain’t going to rehab’, even though she badly needed and eventually sought treatment,” he declared.

Costa accused the star of glamourising a global drug trade that threatens to devastate parts of Africa…

Fun fact: Antonio Maria Costa is from Italy; the very same Italy that just outlawed gossipy shit like this!

Anyway, we guess people aren’t doing cocaine because it feels tingly, its price has dropped and the world sucks, but because “Rehab” was a hit. Next problem, UN! At this rate, the world will be perfect by Thursday.


[Source]

Nov 19, 2007 · Link · 18 Responses
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Comments (18)

No. 1 deimos says:

i call bullshit on the U.N. i listened to the song rehab and it didn’t make me run out and get a beehive and start snorting everything in my path. maybe there’s something wrong with me.

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 5:03 pm
No. 2 deimos says:

commies

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 5:21 pm
No. 3 deimos says:

i’m so bored!!! please post the commies cord before i die of boredom. thank you.

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 5:38 pm
No. 4 piratechick says:

And listening to Judas Priest and Blue Oyster Cult songs makes people commit suicide? Yes, I know I’m showing my age, but sheesh, blame the problems on the specific people and give the average Joe and Jane credit for following their own paths.

D*e*i*m*o*s, I didn’t want to go out an get a beehive either after listening to that song, “Rehab.” It did sort of make me want to go wash my hands though.

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 5:39 pm
No. 5 deimos says:

yeah, whinehouse makes me want to take a scalding hot shower anytime i see her.

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 5:41 pm
No. 6 piratechick says:

She looks like the bride of Frankenstein with those teeth. Crimony. She needs some work! Or maybe, she’s a piece of work!

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 5:41 pm
No. 7 Kitchy says:

It is a really slow news day. I know it’s about 45 minutes too early from Commies, but gimme something. I’m bored.

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 5:50 pm
No. 8 piratechick says:

I’m glad my last name doesn’t begin with “Wine” and I’m a drug addict.

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 5:54 pm
No. 9 Sugar Magnolia says:

I have no desire to do cocaine after watching Winehouse. I do, however, have an overwhelming deisre to brush and floss repeatedly.

ps… commies!

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 5:56 pm
No. 10 piratechick says:

Amy Winehouse is the poster child for “How Not To Live Your Life.” Any fool with a brain can figure this out.

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 5:57 pm
No. 11 piratechick says:

S-M, I’m sure you have more teeth than Winehouse!

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 5:58 pm
No. 12 deimos says:

well apparently the U.N. doesn’t think anybody has a brain.

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 5:58 pm
No. 13 evil twin says:

Some Commies would be nice…

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 5:59 pm
No. 14 Kitchy says:

There was a blogger had a site
And Bunnie was his name-o
B U double N IE.
B U double N IE.
B U double N IE.
And then he posted Commies.

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 6:09 pm
No. 15 piratechick says:

Now I have that song in my head, “If I only had a brain!” “A Heart!” “A Home!” “The Nerve!”

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 6:09 pm
No. 16 Kitchy says:

Wow. It’s like I’m magic.

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 6:12 pm
No. 17 jujubees says:

I didn’t now Amy was so big in Africa that she’s got everyone doing cocaine. I bet she also got all those elephants drunk in India too. What a bitch.

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 6:36 pm
No. 18 piratechick says:

Amy=the new Wonder Woman.

Posted: Nov 19, 2007 at 6:39 pm
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