Famewhores Are People, Too

Anyone remember Lane Garrison? No? He’s the guy from Prison Break who was sentenced to over three years in prison after he was involved in a drunk driving crash that killed a teenager.

In a desperate effort to make sure nobody forgets him, Garrison sent a letter to Access Hollywood from prison. As you do.

Greetings and Happy New Year to you and everyone at Access Hollywood from Donovan State Prison. Never did I think I would be saying the words ???happy and prison??? in the same sentence and not be on a set. It???s pure irony coming from the show and now living the real deal. It???s surreal and mind-blowing to say the least.

Just this past Monday they let a group of inmates watch the season premiere of Prison Break. It felt like an out of body experience as I stood around a crowd of tattooed felons watching Michael Scofield try to escape ??? all of us longing to be free as well!

This has been the hardest year of my life. I hope people, young and old, are learning from my mistakes and what can happen when you drink and drive. I have much to say about the pain I???ve felt and seen inside of prison. It has been eye-opening and a harrowing experience.

Aw, poor guy. He seems to have really learned something from …. Wait, who were we talking about? We already forgot.


Feb 14, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 16 Responses
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Comments (16)

No. 1 mae says:

I’m so glad he didn’t say “sobering experience.”
I’m also happy to see the “w” in Whitney’s name, capitalised now. That had been bothering me.

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 2:19 pm
No. 2 mae says:

Okay, I swear to GOD it was just capitalised! I’m not crazy, your honour!!!!

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 2:19 pm
No. 3 chelsea says:


Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 2:33 pm
No. 4 Aliwanwan says:

What a douchebag. You kill a teenager and you are writing a happy new year letter to Access fucking Hollywood so that your name stays in the papers. Rot in hell.

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 2:33 pm
No. 5 Lisa sans Full Force says:

mae you are right. I always tried to spell whitney with a lowercase, because I thought it was a style choice. Oops!

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 2:58 pm
No. 6 jujubees says:

It looks like it’s been capitalized. Maybe they are having some kind of inter office battle over it? First it’s capitalized and then it’s not.

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 3:02 pm
No. 7 warm wishes of vd from cooter says:

Sound like time to put Whitney or whitney and Cord in a match at the thunderdome.

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 3:25 pm
No. 8 mae says:

My money is on w(W)hitney, she’s got sass. If she can do the neck waving, finger snapping jive, she will win by a landslide.

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 4:30 pm
No. 9 jujubees says:

She’ll have to thrown in at least one, “Oh no you diii iiiint” I really want that to come bAck and it makes me miss, James.

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 4:53 pm
No. 10 stopthemadness says:

warm wishes of vd?

so, i take it you’d prefer spending this day with paris, cooter?

oh, who am i kidding. those other skanks are just as disease ridden.

i know it’s the wrong posts. there are so many posts these days i get confused. and scared. and then i lock myself in the bathroom and i cry.

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 5:12 pm
No. 11 warm wishes of vd from cooter says:

Happy Valentines Day….its all i was saying…but I had to get my name in there.

And I thought it was funny. Hmph!

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 5:44 pm
No. 12 stopthemadness says:

i know, cooter, i was just kidding. :)

i’m bitter because valentine’s day is actually the day i found out that my boyfriend had given me hpv.

happy vd, indeed!

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 5:48 pm
No. 13 cooter brown says:

Thats good, cause for a second…..just a second I was truly hurt. I had the sleeping pills out….

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 5:56 pm
No. 14 stopthemadness says:

what with the death of heath ledger and that dude from jaws, i don’t think we daughters of mr. mollygood could handle another tragedy.

put dem pillz away!

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 6:02 pm
No. 15 jujubees says:

Daughters of Mr. Mollygood creeps me out. I don’t think your supposed to think your dad looks hot in his cowboy gigolo outfit.

Posted: Feb 14, 2008 at 9:47 pm
No. 16 stopthemadness says:

yeah, it sort of creeped me out when i wrote it!

Posted: Feb 15, 2008 at 12:24 am
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